[faysdt414]

Hey ladies,
so its been 2 weeks since my loss and i thought i was doing farely well but i just dont know... The first few days were sooo hard but then AF showed up quickly and before i knew it i was on my clomid again and in the middle of a new cycle already! so i started feeling hopeful that this loss would cause too much of a set back. I also reached out to some close friends and they shared stories of thier own losses with me and that helped a lot. It felt great to get everything off my chest and to hear that im def. not alone and that people to get passed this stuff...
But i noticed that i've been kinda depressed lately, not only be.c of the loss but bec. i have been focusing so much energy on TTC and its just not happening the way i imagined..
I kept charting this cycle, and using OPKs, but i feel like my cycle is so screwd up and and i have no clue what my body is doing. I had EWCM on saterday but no +opk, i had a huge temp dip way before i normally ovulate... I just feel like im either not gonna ovulate this month or miss it completely bec. all the signs are different. I just feel lost and want to know where u ladies find your strength. I want to be able to just go with the flow but i cant and i am trying so hard to just NOT TRY to focus on all this.

ok, sorry to vent but im really sad. Have any of you seeked prof. help after your loss? im wondering if maybe i need to talk to someone. TTC is eating away at me...

Thanks for reading this if you did.
Fay

[SkyBaby]

I'm in a similar boat with you. I found it pretty easy to just hide my thermometer and opks from myself and throw myself into being the best wife I can be to my husband. The deed stopped being fun and it became like a chore. My cycles are extremely screwed up too. I really thought I was pregnant last cycle. I was 3 weeks "late" but it just was a long cycle (8 weeks!). DH swore I was pregnant, but I didn't have that feeling and was continuously getting negatives on pregnancy tests. I don't know when or even if I'm ovulating. My loss was July 23rd. I was around 5 or 6 weeks. I don't know when AF is due. My cycles before the last one were all 5.5 weeks. I'm not even gonna start thinking about using opks and temping until my cycles sort of even out. What's more is I haven't gotten much (if any) ewcm in any of my cycles.

My body is driving me nuts. Like I said, we're both in the same boat. It was easiest for me to ditch the opks and thermometer for a while. Do whatever makes you feel the best.

[noworries]

I had to give up on all the temping and looking for signs of O'ing because I was stressing over it so much.
The grieving process can take a long time and is not easy. Seeing a counselor who specializes in dealing with loss could be helpful so if you feel like you need it, don't feel bad about that.

[*MomofO&Nat*]

I've toyed with the idea of seeing someone too, mainly because I just feel like I have nobody to talk to who understands why it is such a big deal. A lot of people just assume you can get pregnant again right away so why stress over the loss? It is sure not like that for me! Going on cycle 3 and no pregnancy yet. I hear you, and I think getting help is fine if that is what you need. It is something that forever changes how you look at the world and at your body.

[JessP]

After every pregnancy you can suffer from PPD. I know that seems crazy but the hormones changes are the same regardless of how it ends. I would seek help if you are really worried. DH and I have also stopped "trying". I was a basket case each month AF showed. We also couldn't even start trying right away because of another medical problem. So we just started trying again at the end of August. We are in cycle #4 and it probably won't be any different. My last cycle was long and I ovulated late. We are 9 months past our m/c. Your body has been through alot. You need to give it time to heal and get back on track. Sometimes that is quick and sometimes its not. I know that sucks and I know we all desperately want to be pregnant right now, not a week from now or a month from now. Waiting stinks when we already had it. But have faith that your time will come and just try to enjoy your time before you are up all night . We all understand where you are coming from and are here for you.

[faysdt414]

thanks!

I didnt even think about the PPD... now its like DUH.. I did have PPD after my daughter was born, it was so hard for me! I did see a psychologist for a few sessions and it helped alot. i think ill see how this cycle goes and if i still feel depressed then i will give her a call.

Thanks again!

[~InHisHands~]

The only thing I can say is that I know my strength comes from the Lord. There is absolutely no way I can do this without Him. I'm done. I'm so tired of this it's not even funny. We've been trying for almost 4 years now & after 3.5 years we finally got pg back in April (using 100 mg Clomid) only to have a m/c in July. Since the m/c I have done another 2 cycles of Clomid... one at 100 mg which worked last time (of course it didn't work this time) & another at 150 mg & that cycle my progesterone actually went down!

So I've officially been referred to the RE (first appt is next Mon) & for most this would be a good thing & I think it is for me but it scares me to death.... I quit my job back in March of this year to follow the Lord & now may have to pay thousands at an RE's office! IDK but I do know that I am physically unable to go on by myself. It's not me & my strength that is getting me through this, it's God & His strength. I pray every day & He knows my heart & I'm just waiting & having faith. I honestly believe He has promised me a child & I do believe I will have that child but He is teaching me something through this journey & right now I'm leaning/relying on Him to get me through it b/c like I said, I'm done... period. Not me but Him.

[HopefulMommy81]

First off, you are not alone in this!! I know we're all on-line friends, but these women are how I've gotten through! I don't know anyone irl who has had multiple losses, or even had problems getting pregnant so honestly, JM has gotten me through. I mean, my friends irl have been as supportive as they can be, but it can only go so far if they haven't had this same experience, or a smiliar one, you know? For me, I took one cycle off- I wasn't planning it, but happened to get the flu during O time, and I honestly think that was for the best- I'm not sure how I would handle BFN's right after my m/c this time around. I feel ready to try again now, and will go to it with all we have, but not knowing if it will work, or stick, is so hard for me. If you have someone you can talk to, and feel like it might help, I would go for it. And remember, we're all here for you, ok? In the meantime, try to get involved in something else, even though I know it's hard to- focus on that beautiful daughter in your siggie and just pray she will be a big sis soon!