[Trish36]

As some of you know my SIL has been doing IVF and last cycle had a chemical. She did another cycle and just tested today at 13dpt and had a BFN, so there really isn't much hope of her bing pregnant. She's obviously upset that it didn't work, never mind all the money that was spent. How on earth am I supposed to tell her now that I am pregnant?? I am going to wait a few weeks before telling her, but still I know this will make her feel sad and angry. It's killing me, cause I want to share my good news but I don't want to cause her any pain either. And I know I won't be able to hide my condition for very long, cause I start showing really soon.

[noworries]

I'd tell her personally before you make the big announcement to the family. That way it gives her some time to digest it and she won't be surprised and caught off guard when you tell everyone.

[Kary♥RN]

Oh HUGS!! Trish that is a crappy situation... Did you and sister talk about this situation when you both were going through the treatments? I would agree with Carrie.. to tell her in person, before the rest of the family is told... HUGS

[JessP]

That would be really rough. I also agree that you should talk to her.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I would not wait too long to tell her. That might be more hard on her. I would tell her in person like the other ladies said. Hugs! What a horrible position to be put in.

[KDD]

I don't think there will be an easy way to tell her. She'll most likely need some time to get used to the idea. I agree that it would be best to tell her privately so she isn't caught off guard in a group setting.

[~InHisHands~]

I agree with the other ladies!

[Celena]

What a tough choice, you have to do what is right in your heart... I mean did you two talk about the "what if" either one of you got pregnant what you do or when to say it?

I would let her know in person before telling anyone else, let her know how hard of a decision it was and how you don't want to hurt her IDK, you know her better than any of us and know what she would respond better to. Either way it's not going to be the easiest thing to do. I'm sorry Trish

[HopefulMommy81]

Yep, I second everything above! Can you maybe take her out for a special day and then when you come home tell her? I mean, telling her in public might be a little rough, but maybe a nice spa day or pedicures or something? I don't know, it might help, but it might make it worse, depends on you and your SIL's relationship I think. Good luck!

[mommie2many]

I agree I would tell her in person.
Good Luck (((HUGS)))

[missy123]

Tell her in person and give her lots of hugs. She is probably going to feel jealous like most of usl have at one point or another. Let her know how much you love her and are really hoping she gets pregnant soon and can share this with you. Most of all hug her a lot and listen to her, she may want to vent to relieve some of her own stress.

[~Lynda~]

oh man that's a hard one. I don't envy your position. but here is what I think... she is obviously upset right now about finding out about the failed IVF. She will eventually pick herself up and get back in the game. The LAST thing you want to do is bring her back down when she manages to move forward. So if it were me, i'd tell her now so that she can deal with the news at once, and then when she moves on to her next cycle, she is not bombarded with more difficult news. that's just my opinion! good luck

[Trish36]

I took Lynda's advise and told her today. She knew already that it was BFN from testing and she's okay with it. I"m sure she's upset, but dealing with it. I figured if I told her now then at least it was out of the bag. Plus I'm so bad at keeping secrets.
Thanks for all your advise. I feel so much bettter now.

[ldovey83]

I am glad you talked to her and she took it well.. I have been in the same boat. My sister was trying to concieve a first with her new DH and I have gotten pregnant twice since then and lost both but I know how you feel..