[SkyBaby]

DH and I were talking about where we should have our baby when we do get pregnant. I want a birth center birth in a nice warm tub of water assuming the baby and I are very healthy. DH just wouldn't hear of it. He wants to go straight to the hospital. I don't want to do a hospital birth if it isn't absolutely necessary. I hate hospitals. Birth, I'm sure, is stressful enough for the mom even under the most relaxing of settings. I don't need the added anxiety of being in a hospital. Is it a good idea to try a birth center birth for our first baby if the child and I are healthy? I've heard of it done many times before. What kinds of problems are birth center births equipped to deal with? I'm finding conflicting stuff on the internet. I don't want to do something that will put my child at risk of course. Almost all births in my immediate family and first cousins have been vaginal except my mom when she had me and my two siblings.

I have read hospital births have a higher rate of mothers needing episiotomies(sp?) than birth center births. Do hospitals have homey-feeling birthing suites? Can anyone link me to a study done by someone who is unbiased? I know some people are "against" hospital births and others are "against" birth center births. I don't know what to believe about this. Is it a decision everyone needs to make personally based on what's best for the baby and for them?

There's just so much conflicting stuff out there. How would I know what's true and what's not?

[KDD]

I think that most birth centers have information sessions. Why not take DH to one so you can both see what they offer? I know a couple of my friends had their DH's do an about face once they met the midwives and saw the facilities. Also, many hospitals now offer birthing tubs so you could look into that as well.

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by KDD

I think that most birth centers have information sessions. Why not take DH to one so you can both see what they offer? I know a couple of my friends had their DH's do an about face once they met the midwives and saw the facilities. Also, many hospitals now offer birthing tubs so you could look into that as well.

That's a great idea! We'll have to start looking around. I'll look into the birthing tubs at the hospital too. I just hope our insurance can cover delivering in a tub.

[PixieQueen]

I had a birth center birth for my first and it was awesome! I'm obviously biased, which is not what you are looking for for DH, but truly, I had a fantastic experience. And my DH loved it too. Because most midwives view birth as a natural process instead of an emergency waiting to happen, they are more hands-off during labor. This let my DH do a lot more, including catch our DD. He loves to brag about that! Another thing about birth centers is that the midwives will usually tell you up front what will risk you out of birthing there, and a good question to ask is what would make them transfer you from the birth center to the hospital. Maybe if you find one in close proximity to a hospital? The one I birthed at was only about 3 blocks away. Anyway, you could always stop by the Natural Childbirth Board and ask questions. For now, here is a link to a list of sites from the NCB info sticky about choosing your place of birth: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f3...ace-birth.html (Choosing your place of birth)

[JessP]

I would start looking at what you have available in the area. There may be a birthing center but you might go there and be like no way am I having a baby here or vice versa. Most will have tours and information that you can get. Also you can find out if you can do the midwife, birthing center type experience at the hospital. Many of them have that option now. Also many birthing centers have limits. Meaning if things start going the wrong direction they send you to the hospital. They aren't going to take any chances with you or your baby. I had my two in a hospital. I wouldn't do it any other way but my first was a rather scary complicated ordeal. We almost lost her so I won't do a birthing center myself. I also love the wonderful epidural . I hope you guys find some answers and find a happy medium to the problem.

[Kary♥RN]

Like the other ladies have said...
You have to see what is in your area.. Vist them armed with questions.. As for episiotomy that is something for your OB/Midwife to talk about.. just because you have a baby in the Hospital doesn't mean you will have it, that is done by the "catcher".

Questions are who is going to deliver the baby? Will they work with a birthing center? What is the time frame from the Birthing center to the hospital? What emergencies can they handle, When the baby is delivered, what can they handle? Your local Hospital will have tours of the birthing rooms, do you like the way they feel? Even if you birth in the hospital, What can they handle? (I know the hospital I work at has a NICU (but ship more critical babies to Philadelphia)) So even some of your hospitals can't handle everything. And they will let you know. If you don't want pain meds.. what can they give you? I know the hospital I work for has a tub, with relaxing music that you can labor in. All the rooms are private, and very homey feeling. They have the labor balls and labor bars... But Other hospitals in the area do not. You really have to shop around. Ask about the average stay, How many people can be with you, You are the woman who will be in labor.. you need you labor plan, and make sure everyone is on board with you! And when you have the plan.. make sure it is ok with your Dr/Midwife prior to delivery so they know what you want...

You can't go into war war with out the proper gun... So investigate and "gun" girl!

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by PixieQueen

I had a birth center birth for my first and it was awesome! I'm obviously biased, which is not what you are looking for for DH, but truly, I had a fantastic experience. And my DH loved it too. Because most midwives view birth as a natural process instead of an emergency waiting to happen, they are more hands-off during labor. This let my DH do a lot more, including catch our DD. He loves to brag about that! Another thing about birth centers is that the midwives will usually tell you up front what will risk you out of birthing there, and a good question to ask is what would make them transfer you from the birth center to the hospital. Maybe if you find one in close proximity to a hospital? The one I birthed at was only about 3 blocks away. Anyway, you could always stop by the Natural Childbirth Board and ask questions. For now, here is a link to a list of sites from the NCB info sticky about choosing your place of birth: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f3...ace-birth.html (Choosing your place of birth)

I want a birth center birth for my first, assuming me and the baby are healthy, but DH seems to be like OBs in terms of he views birth as an emergency waiting to happen. I just hope some tours through some birth centers will change his mind. Another problem is he doesn't seem to think insurance will cover a birth center birth. I'm going to look into what our insurance provider does cover and get the best I can out of that.

Originally Posted by JessP

I would start looking at what you have available in the area. There may be a birthing center but you might go there and be like no way am I having a baby here or vice versa. Most will have tours and information that you can get. Also you can find out if you can do the midwife, birthing center type experience at the hospital. Many of them have that option now. Also many birthing centers have limits. Meaning if things start going the wrong direction they send you to the hospital. They aren't going to take any chances with you or your baby. I had my two in a hospital. I wouldn't do it any other way but my first was a rather scary complicated ordeal. We almost lost her so I won't do a birthing center myself. I also love the wonderful epidural . I hope you guys find some answers and find a happy medium to the problem.

I'm going to start doing that very soon. I really have this feeling a birth center birth will be most relaxing. If we're healthy to begin with, stress can turn what was supposed to be a healthy birth into a unhealthy one. I have a huge problem with needles, much less a needle being shoved in my back. That's out of the question for me. I know it works wonders for some ladies and more power to them! It's just not something I'd pick.

Originally Posted by Kary♥RN

Like the other ladies have said...
You have to see what is in your area.. Vist them armed with questions.. As for episiotomy that is something for your OB/Midwife to talk about.. just because you have a baby in the Hospital doesn't mean you will have it, that is done by the "catcher".

Questions are who is going to deliver the baby? Will they work with a birthing center? What is the time frame from the Birthing center to the hospital? What emergencies can they handle, When the baby is delivered, what can they handle? Your local Hospital will have tours of the birthing rooms, do you like the way they feel? Even if you birth in the hospital, What can they handle? (I know the hospital I work at has a NICU (but ship more critical babies to Philadelphia)) So even some of your hospitals can't handle everything. And they will let you know. If you don't want pain meds.. what can they give you? I know the hospital I work for has a tub, with relaxing music that you can labor in. All the rooms are private, and very homey feeling. They have the labor balls and labor bars... But Other hospitals in the area do not. You really have to shop around. Ask about the average stay, How many people can be with you, You are the woman who will be in labor.. you need you labor plan, and make sure everyone is on board with you! And when you have the plan.. make sure it is ok with your Dr/Midwife prior to delivery so they know what you want...

You can't go into war war with out the proper gun... So investigate and "gun" girl!

Thanks so much for all the wonderful ideas for questions! I want to try to do the natural way. Still finding some pain relief but not in the form of medicine.

Even if I can convince my hubby a birth center birth can be very safe, our insurance may not cover it. I'm going to look into exactly what our insurance provider will cover and get the best I can out of that. I'm fine with delivering in a hospital so long as it's not that stark, uncomfortable, stressful environment hospitals usually are during my brief stays.

I'm thinking even if labor balls and other relaxation things aren't provided, I'll bring my own if I can get it OKed by a doctor. That's another thing too.. it seems to me OBs don't understand the whole "natural birth" thing, which is why I want to go with a midwife. Yeah.. definitelyl will be asking lots of questions.

[noworries]

Some hospitals have birthing centers affiliated with them that are in the same building or really close by, that may be a compromise that eases your husbands mind (but still ask questions and look around because some of these birth centers that are attached to hospitals aren't really like birth centers). I also am biased and believe that birth shouldn't be in hospitals unless there really is an emergency. Midwives are prepared to handle emergencies, they just don't expect them like OB's usually do. But as far as midwives vs. OB's it really depends on the individual person. Some midwives can act more like OB's and some OB's can be really open to natural birth.
Hypnobabies is a great class to take (or you can do it as a home study course) to help you deal with the pain of childbirth without drugs. Come on over the Natural Childbirth Board if you have questions.

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by chispaza

Some hospitals have birthing centers affiliated with them that are in the same building or really close by, that may be a compromise that eases your husbands mind (but still ask questions and look around because some of these birth centers that are attached to hospitals aren't really like birth centers). I also am biased and believe that birth shouldn't be in hospitals unless there really is an emergency. Midwives are prepared to handle emergencies, they just don't expect them like OB's usually do. But as far as midwives vs. OB's it really depends on the individual person. Some midwives can act more like OB's and some OB's can be really open to natural birth.
Hypnobabies is a great class to take (or you can do it as a home study course) to help you deal with the pain of childbirth without drugs. Come on over the Natural Childbirth Board if you have questions.

I brought that up with DH and he said "Nope. I refuse to let our baby be born in some place that isn't a hospital." He just wont budge. The thing is.. he's a nurse (LVN) and is a bit biased on the side of hospitals. He also seems to laugh at me when I tell him I'd rather deliver in a tub of warm water than have an epidural. He's saying "you're going to be demanding one when the labor really gets going. Wouldn't you rather deliver in a hospital so you have that option?" I just hate the stark hospital environment. I want a homey room with a nice tub. If that's in a hospital, that's great.

[noworries]

Originally Posted by SkyBaby

I brought that up with DH and he said "Nope. I refuse to let our baby be born in some place that isn't a hospital." He just wont budge.

Maybe you should refuse to let your baby be born in a hospital and not budge. As for the epidural, if he can't support your choice to not have one then maybe you should find someone who will to be with you during the birth (like a doula).

[PixieQueen]

Okay, so this sounds sort of petty, but is he really concerned about how YOU will handle labor, or how HE will handle seeing you in labor? If you have the mental preparation for going without an epidural, it isn't the same thing that he probably sees at work, where these women come in in the middle of labor, terrified and screaming their heads off. And of course, unless he's in L&D, he probably only sees the emergency train wrecks, not a normal birthing event. Also, if you do find a couple of birth centers to tour, they will ALL have transfer plans, and will be able to answer all his questions regarding what emergencies they can handle and what they transfer for, when they transfer, and whether or not they have OBs they work with specifically, or if it's just a specific hospital, etc. GL!

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by chispaza

Maybe you should refuse to let your baby be born in a hospital and not budge. As for the epidural, if he can't support your choice to not have one then maybe you should find someone who will to be with you during the birth (like a doula).

He seems to be more ok with letting me labor naturally than with an epidural than he is with going to a birth center that really well be more relaxing. Wont stress cause problems that weren't otherwise there? He does view birth as an emergency waiting to happen. He's a nurse at a prison though, but he does have some hospital experience. Mostly what he's learned about L&D has been during training. He hasn't actually worked in a L&D. He's fine with birth centers if we already had a baby with no complications. He refuses to let me birth our first in there. Don't worry. I'm not budging on this. I wont be stupid about this though. If there's any problems, even during pregnancy I wont risk it and I will give birth in a hospital.

Originally Posted by PixieQueen

Okay, so this sounds sort of petty, but is he really concerned about how YOU will handle labor, or how HE will handle seeing you in labor? If you have the mental preparation for going without an epidural, it isn't the same thing that he probably sees at work, where these women come in in the middle of labor, terrified and screaming their heads off. And of course, unless he's in L&D, he probably only sees the emergency train wrecks, not a normal birthing event. Also, if you do find a couple of birth centers to tour, they will ALL have transfer plans, and will be able to answer all his questions regarding what emergencies they can handle and what they transfer for, when they transfer, and whether or not they have OBs they work with specifically, or if it's just a specific hospital, etc. GL!

I know I can do it. He seems less concerned with how I will labor than he is with where I will labor. He's stuck on the hospital birth. He's a nurse in a prison nearby. He's never actually done L&D. I'm not even sure he's actually seen a birth in person before. He may have only seen them on tv. I'm going to take him with me when I start looking at birthing centers and hospitals. I'm fine with laboring in a hospital so long as it's not the stark, uncomfortable, totally non-homey feel. He said he would be fine with wherever I'd want to deliver if we were having baby #2. He wants a hospital birth for baby #1. Wont stress and my general unhappiness with this situation cause other physical problems during labor? I think he thinks I'm a bit selfish. He said "don't you want to make sure our baby will be healthy?" I'm still not budging though. I wont be stupid about this and still insist on a birth center birth if there's anything wrong.

[noworries]

Do you think you could get him to watch The Business of Being Born?

Here are some book suggestions too...Amazon.com: The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth, Second Edition (9781558321953): Penny Simkin: Books, Amazon.com: Gentle Birth Choices (9781594770678): Barbara Harper, Suzanne Arms: Books.

And a site to look at....Bellymama Midwifery - Midwife - Miami Fort Lauderdale