Question? (pregnancy mentioned)

Frangipani · #1 December 31st, 2009, 03:33 PM

I don't know if any of you remember me. I posted a lot a few years back then sporadically since. DH and I've been TTC for about 3 years now and have had a few miscarriages but that is it. I just got a blazing BFP (last night). I wasn't expecting it, wasn't even in the "fertile" stage when we BD'd this month. After all this time, we have basically just been talking about adoption. Even with AF being 7 days late, I just figured I was having another weird cycle (I've had a few lately where I've gone as far as 12 days late).

Anyway, I decided what the hey, might as well test yesterday and then just about fell off the toilet. I've never had a BFP pop up that fast (even with the MCs, they were always light pink lines). This one popped up as the urine was being drawn up over the test.

Ok to the question then: when would you tell other people? I'm petrified to even tell DH, to be honest, because we've had our hopes up so many times and just had them crushed. I hate to do that to him again. There is a problem though with it being NYE and we're supposed to be going to a party (drinking) and obviously I will be abstaining. He'll be wondering what is going on.

Would you go ahead and tell him now or wait? How long would you wait to tell anyone else?

Thanks everyone. I did a search but couldn't find any threads saying when people told others.

mlyster · #2 December 31st, 2009, 03:49 PM

First of all CONGRATS!

This is a tough one to answer. The best I can say is "whenever you are comfortable". In our 4 losses we have told people at varying stages and every time I told "my world" about the loss when I was ready. I do think you need to enjoy this pregnancy as long as you have it. I know this journey has taught me one thing - you never know who long things will last. So I decided with my 3rd pregnancy that I was going to enjoy everyday because I never know how many of days I will get.

I am not sure if that helped at all but its such a personal choice. Talk to your DH - it might surprise you what he says.

Frangipani · #3 December 31st, 2009, 04:05 PM

Thanks for the advice! I really do want to tell him. He just got home and asked me if I bought any champagne while I was out today. I just came up with an excuse!

Well, I'll tell you how it goes.

KDD · #4 December 31st, 2009, 04:36 PM

I remember you! Congratulations! That's wonderful news! Unfortunately I haven't had another BFP since my loss (yet). I think that we will tell others when it feels right. Some ppl we will tell sooner than others.

~InHisHands~ · #5 December 31st, 2009, 04:38 PM

Ditto to Michelle & HUGE congrats!!!

iVari · #6 December 31st, 2009, 06:15 PM

CONGRATULATIONS!!! What a wonderful way to ring in the new year

Personally I would tell DH, he would be upset with me if I didn't, no matter what the out come. But I fully understand why you might want to wait to spare him any pain. But, with having such a quick BFP it seems very promising... I'm sending you lots of sticky dust

mommy x 10 · #7 December 31st, 2009, 07:07 PM

Congrats!!!! I would tell dh. I know my dh would want to know regardless of how things end up. I also think that getting such a quick BFP sounds very promising!

#8 December 31st, 2009, 08:40 PM

CONGRATULATIONS!

I think this is something to share with your DH!

In relation to telling people, totally a personal choice & I agree that some people you tell straight away, others you hold off until you get that right feeling/time

Frangipani · #9 January 1st, 2010, 01:59 PM

thanks everyone! I did tell him last night. I think he was kind of in shock for a few minutes but then he cried and gave me a huge hug.

he also thinks we should wait to tell people though. We decided to wait until March when I should be past the 1st trimester (if this bean sticks). I still can't believe it. I took another test (I know, I just keep thinking that it's going to be negative and I'm going to get AF any second) but the line popped right up again.

KDD: I remember you too! Hi there!

BigGrin · #10 January 1st, 2010, 02:23 PM

You have the self discipline of a marine! I would've been screaming it over the phone as soon as a double line appeared. (to DH anyways) As far as everyone else goes, I would definitely only disclose that info when I was feeling "safe" about it. I know next BFP I will keep my cards close to my vest until I am done with my first trimester.

Frangipani · #11 January 1st, 2010, 06:13 PM

hey all, sorry if I offended anyone with my post. I had tagged it with "pregnancy mentioned" but it didn't show up in the title/tagging for some reason. Sorry again if it hurt anyone. I didn't mean to. I edited the title.

Celena · #12 January 1st, 2010, 10:11 PM

Frang, I remember you too! Wondered where you had gone to...

CONGRATULATIONS on your New Years SURPRISE

how cool!!!!

2010 is bringing good things already

Frangipani · #13 January 2nd, 2010, 07:40 AM

thanks Celena! I think I'm still in shock. This definitely has not sunk in yet.

..Penelope.. · #14 January 2nd, 2010, 10:39 AM

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! Sending you tons of sticky

!

It's a really personal choice when to tell people. This time around, I told close family and friends early on, because I wanted to celebrate my pregnancy for as long as it lasted, and I needed their support. After my 12 week appointment went well, I felt comfortable telling the rest of the world

Kary♥RN · #15 January 2nd, 2010, 02:23 PM

CONGRATS.. I had posted a reply at work... than when I went to post it.. it was gone..

But I am glad you told DH... I was going to say.. after my last loss.. I made a comment to dh that I wouldn't tell a soul if I get pregnant again until I am 9months.. than he said to me.. "You better tell me as soon as you test... I have every right to be excited.. for what ever time we are pregnant.. and I have every right to mourn.. no matter what happens"....

HUGS! I am so happy for you! and your BFP!!!!