[Justjessie]

Tonight I think I realized I don't want another baby.

My kids just started today at their new school...I work full time, get off of work to them having 5 hours of homework (5th grade...WRONG) and cooking/cleaning...DH tries to help, basically his help is watchin TV and yelling to my son "Did you do your homework?" My son says yes, DH believes him...and it's 9 pm and we are still doing homework and will be until about 11.

Dh got pissed at me and isn't talking to me, I told him I better be in charge of homework...now he is never going to help me with anything ever again.

In which case...I'm not raising ANOTHER kid alone.

He's downstairs playing football on his gamething and I'm doing everything...

NOT going to do pregnancy, NOT going to raise a million kids/work full time/have two mortgages in my name...

And I think I need to drink more and start smoking again.

If I'm pregnant now I'll deal with it but I think I want to give this some serious thought. Like I said, he wants kids...I'd be happy with the two I have. They keep me plenty busy.

Giving away ALL of my baby dust...PLEASE use it, people who want kids, really want them...should have them!!!

[Kary♥RN]

HUGS... Angela.. I am sorry you seem so frustrated.. But I think you are doing the right thing by steping back.. and looking at everyhting.. You can always ask for the babydust back next cycle! HUGS

[momof6lopez]

Im so sorry about your frustrating night.........I had many like that with my last marriage. I too work full time (own a mortgage co.), do cleaning, chores, 4 kids, and my ex worked nights and slept all day. Did nothing to help, at all.

When your anger has calmed down a bit, I would have a serious discussion with your dh. Wheather or not you have another baby, you should not have to do any of this alone. Sometimes, men just have to be told point blank to really get it. Add the pressure of your recent loss, you have got be pretty close to over the edge if not over the edge already!

I hope tomorrow brings better days for you and your dh. Sending you hugs.

[Justjessie]

He won't even talk to me right now because he is playing football. I was mad before but when *I* went and asked if we can talk and he said not right now...that pretty much shows me how important I am.

The first baby daddy walked away, this one would probably do it, too. I'm way too old to play relationship games and to have to raise another kid alone.

I do hope everyone else gets pregnant this month, though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be around.

[JesSsica]

Angela, I'm also quite happy with just my two babies. Just like you I have one of each, and I've always felt that my life was complete with just the two of them ever since my ex-husband got his vasectomy. This baby, if we would ever have one, would be Pat's. Would I love it? Of course I would! No less than my other two. BUT would I ever feel like there's a hole in my heart yearning for that missing piece... no. I can honestly say that even despite my two losses, I don't feel the need to fill that void. I have no void. This baby would be Pat being able to have a baby of his own and watching him experience all of the firsts would give me as much joy as snuggling and hugging and holding my very own, brand new baby who again I would love as much as my other two.

Pat and I have had talks too about how he would have to help. I would need help with the kids, help around the house, and emotional support. Pat was a bachelor for many, many years and has no kids so he's only had to worry about himself. He's s. l. o. w. l. y learning to think outside of his needs. I have to tell him sometimes-- ok frequently, what I need. Part of me resents that he doesn't just "get it" but if I ask, it's done. I have to accept that and appreciate him for helping when I ask. He doesn't read my mind. I wish he did sometimes! haha

We're in the same boat about discussing what's next. If we have a baby it needs to be soon. For one, he's not getting any younger (same with me but he's nine years older than me), and for two my 20 year class reunion is in 18 months and I will absolutely be in shape and ready to go! LOL I guess sometimes I don't want to put a hold on this. I want to do it now, get it over with and get on with our life with our family of five... if it's meant to be that way. If it's not meant to be that way I just want to move on and have both of us totally and competely at peace with it and never look back.

What I'm trying to say is I can understand what you're going through. As always, our lives seem to run pretty darn parallel. If it's meant to be it will be. If not, at least we both feel complete with our two perfectly great, perfectly challenging little kiddos! LOL

Give it some time. Heck, you could already be pregnant and then no booze or ciggies for you little missy. hehe

[Justjessie]

I'm already drinking.

Which means I'm NOT going to do another pregnancy. He won't even talk to me right now...I just went down ther eand tried, he blew me off...if football is THAT IMPORTANT and I am not...holy crap I DO NOT WANT A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't be pregnant.

[missy123]

Super Big Huge Hugs to you! I can relate, my ex was like that and worse! He was a drinker, never home and I worked full time, raised the kids and did it all by myself while he was out with his friends...

I hope this is just a rough day for you and that he straightens out and listens to you. (((Hugs)))