I'm in between right now...
I'm 4 DPO (I have In His Hands as a cycle buddy and I'm right behind Lorna!) but after last night I think I might rather sit this one out. My DH is a good guy, and a great dad, but men don't get it and I don't know if I can handle another baby alone. I mean, he's in the basement for 4 hours tonight playing Madden 2010...I came home from working a full day, cooked dinner, cleaned, did homework, put the kids to bed...in a year I might ALSO add to the mix bathe baby, breastfeed baby, change baby...so THIS is my alone time (when the kids are in bed) and I might have NOTHING in a year.
Dh says "I'll take the baby downstairs with me!" but I don't want it sitting in a swing for 4 hours. And if it cries while he is playing, he isn't going to pick it up, he'll call me. (He thinks he will pick it up but I know better than to screw with Madden and the baby will learn...WHEN IT IS 18!!!)
Also I drank half a bottle of wine last night and smoked a ton of ciggies today...which on one hand, I think was a bad choice, on the other, no kid ever died from ONE night of fun. Besides...I didn't know I was pregnant, right???
And chances are, I'm not. It was a good try, but I JUST had a miscarriage not even 2 months ago...and they say 1 in 4 tries succeeds...I think the odds are against me.
If I'm pregnant I'll deal with it...if I'm not I think I'm going to go NTNP unless he says otherwise (and if we didn't try we'd miss O every month) but I want to go party and I want to know, but not as bad as I did before...so I don't think I'll be POAS anytime soon. I don't know, I was pretty mad last night. I was pissed at DH but the underlying problem was...my kids started at their new school yesterday and I don't like the new school. And Im' a teacher so I can't complain. Well, I can, but it's not nice. I know they are all doing their jobs. but I loved the old school very much (in a bad area) and I don't like this school much (in a good area). The other teachers helped me raise the kids and I miss them. And the new people don't know us and I don't think they care.And everyone I know is all "The NEW school is in a nice area, it has a better curriculum!"
But it doesn't. The old school really had the best one. They follow the same curriculum the school *I* teach at follows. Which is like the best in the state. Okay, ONE of the best =) But the standards are really high while maintaining developmental appropriateness. The new school is a horse and pony show for the rich people we now live by. And the people by our old house were mostly low income but those parents were involved and helped a ton and organized parties and made events run smooth...we didn't have a PTO or a PTA but they made a "Parent Club" that ran EVERYTHING. It was just a great place and I really miss them (and my kids were top of the class there...average now...) That's really been eating at me.
But I digress...
I won't test until AT LEAST 12 DPO and that's only if there is an opportunity for me to drink/smoke something like that. I won't wait until 16 DPO again or even 15 because that is a drinking weekend...so maybe I'll test at 14 DPO??? Just to get my negative.
Like Kary, I had to see something though...so I POAS today (OPK people!!!!) and it was negative. Duh. I thought since I drank I'd see wavy lines. Nope. But the test line was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO faint I could barely see it! Weird, isn't that? Three days ago it was SO dark!
I know very well if I'm pregnant it will be dark again at 16 DPO cuz this is how I found out I was pregnant last time. Peed on an OPK. Test line darker than the control line.
PeeOnAStick.com told me I REALLY needed to test with a pregnancy test, so I did.
Is FRER First Response something or other? And I assume that detects the lowest amount of HCG? See, I just wait until I'm way DPO and I test with a normal one. Unless I see that these FRERs are cheap...then I might experiment. I wouldn't want to have a false positive or even a HINT of one...and if I wondered, I'd be on my way to the car to the store while still zipping my pants up from being on the first stick. I'm like that, I can't wait!
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So who is in that 2WW? on the cusp, whatever... sprinkle sanity on this thread LOL!!!
going INSANE and cramped up today.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace 
I'm waiting till I have a reason to leave the house, like tomorrow I can stop and pick up a test or two.
I uh haven't bought inet cheapies during AF like I normally would for the past couple of cycles thinking "well if I have to pay full price for a hpt I'll wait"... D'oh, WHO WAS I KIDDING??!! 
I bought some dollar store hpt's today and saving FRER for 14dpo if I don't get AF by then (I think, LOL)
Thanks to Alethia for the awesome siggy!
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