So I think I may be joining you ladies...

stephjp · #1 January 11th, 2010, 08:04 AM

I have had the most horrible weekend of my entire life...I never thought about a miscarriage as a reality for me. I just assumed that once I found out I was pregnant I would have a beautiful healthy baby in 9 months....That was not the case. I had a miscarriage this weekend. My husband doesn't want to believe it yet until we go to the dr and they verify it but I know it is true. I should have been due in August but now there is nothing...I never thought I would be so attached to this baby so early on... I did not know my heart had the capacity to love this tiny little thing growing inside of me so soon. One week we saw the heartbeat and the next week it was gone. So, I am sitting here with menstrual cramps not entirely sure this is all over yet but hoping the worst is past. I heard you can bleed for up to 2 weeks...I hate this...especially the cramps. I never cramp; even on my period. I am so emotional too. I don't know if I am going to bite someone's head off if they say the wrong thing or cry the next time I see a baby. I feel angry that this happened and that I could do absolutely nothing to stop it. It seems so unfair... My heart hurts. I don't think I will be ready to purposefully try for another baby for a while...

Sorry to rant and rave but I don't know how to deal with all this I am feeling... I wanted my baby so bad and I don't understand why I wasn't allowed to have it...

But, I am glad to be able to join another group of wonderful ladies and I hope to be able to connect with you all!

kitkat8323 · #2 January 11th, 2010, 09:08 AM

Hun i could have wrote this myself almost 5 months ago when i lost my baby. rant and rave all you want we wont mind weve all done it. your emotions are all normal right now i still have days like that every so often but it gets better and easier

For the bleeding i started spotting on a wed lost the baby on thurs and had a light flow and spotting till mon so it doesnt always last 2 weeks

*MomofO&Nat* · #3 January 11th, 2010, 09:13 AM

I agree with KitKat, I could have written what you said word for word in September. It sucks, it's not fair, it hurts, and nobody really understands that hasn't been through it. This board is awesome, helpful, supportive!!! I couldn't have made it without these ladies. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you find comfort here as I did.

Kary♥RN · #4 January 11th, 2010, 09:18 AM

Steph HUGS... I am so sorry for your loss... HUGS...

Welcome to the board.. We have all went through what you are feeling and it is totaly normal. When ever you need to cry, vent, scream, or just need people who understand we are here for you.. HUGS

mommy x 10 · #5 January 11th, 2010, 09:27 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. So sorry you find yourself here. Hugs!

~InHisHands~ · #6 January 11th, 2010, 10:41 AM

I am so sorry for your loss!

You know, the thing that helped me the most through my loss is a pg loss study that we have actually just started on the Christian Parenting board today. It helped me so much that I wanted to offer it to all the other ladies who have experienced a loss here on JM. Here's the link, just in case you are interested... http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...n-up-here.html (Pregnancy Loss Bible Study Info & Sign-Up Here).

Even if you aren't interested, I'm so sorry, again. Loss is so hard!

EVY&EGYsMommy · #7 January 11th, 2010, 11:19 AM

I am so sorry

I also miscarried this weekend, and it is hard. (((HUGS)))

alethia · #8 January 11th, 2010, 12:01 PM

I am soo sorry for your loss! You're right it sucks, it's not fair and it really hurts! I know exactly how you feel! I had bad cramps for a few days and bleeding for a little over a week. A heating pad can sometimes help with the cramps - it did for me. Again, I'm so sorry!

stephjp · #9 January 11th, 2010, 12:18 PM

Thank you ladies for your support... It really means a lot...

kansasgal · #10 January 11th, 2010, 09:04 PM

I am very sorry for your loss. I miscarried and I would have been due in August too. I am still haveing a really dificult time with it. Its helps to talk to others who who know how u feel.

SkyBaby · #11 January 11th, 2010, 10:11 PM

I know exactly what you are feeling. I am so sorry hun. What you are feeling is normal. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. No matter how early, a baby is a baby and you were a mommy the second you got that positive. I loved my baby dearly as well. I was "only" somewhere between 5 and 6 weeks in. I too didn't think a miscarriage was something I'd ever have to come to terms with either. It's so unfair. I know it is. You'll notice, as time goes by, your emotions become less raw. You'll have waves of grief, but those waves will be fewer and farther between. I know some day you will have a healthy baby. Was this pregnancy your first?

jayepink · #12 January 12th, 2010, 07:28 AM

I am sorry for your loss. I have been there too. It is one of the worst feelings ever.

I am glad to have found this board. I did find that day by day, I have felt a little better.

DukesMommy12 · #13 January 12th, 2010, 07:38 AM

Unfortunately, welcome.

Im praying for you! Its hard,Im so sorry for your loss

jjc99 · #14 January 12th, 2010, 07:56 AM

I hate that you have to be here. I hate that this board has to exist. BUT, these are WONDERFUL ladies and will support you through the good, bad, and ugly. When you think you are all alone and no one understands, please remember you are NOT alone. We are here for you!!

So, Welcome. And as some of the ladies said, it does get better. There will be a day where it doesn't hurt as much.

~Lynda~ · #15 January 20th, 2010, 05:52 AM

i know just how you feel. I never dreamed that I would face a miscarriage, much the less THREE miscarriages. It's been a long road! HUGS to you cause I know how empty you feel right now! We are here for you hun! Lean on us! I am so very very sorry for your loss!!! HUGS

Natalie_Snow · #16 January 20th, 2010, 06:09 AM

I am so sorry for your loss! I know how hard it is! I had my m/c a month ago and it still hurts. I could have written your words last month. I was having cramps for 7 days and eventually it got better. I did cry every time a saw a baby or a baby isle in the store. It is hard to get used to the idea that you're not having that little baby anymore. I am so sorry, I know how much it hurts. But it does get better with time.

{hugs!}

nurselochia · #17 January 20th, 2010, 06:20 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. Your right, it sucks, it hurts and it doesn't matter how early you were, you still had hopes and dreams for that child. And when it is taken away, it leaves a hole. This is a wonderful board and all the ladies here are very supportive, and we all understand how you are feeling. You are in my thoughts and may time be kind to you.

LisaG825 · #18 January 22nd, 2010, 02:33 PM

I am so sorry about everything that you are going through. I was 15w4d when I miscarried on 12/16/09. Didn't have any bleeding when I found out I miscarried. Dr. induced me (didn't have a D&C). I bled until Jan 15th. Didn't bleed for two days. Spotted on the 19th. Nothing on the 20th and now I have been spotting since. My cramps were really bad so I went to my dr. to see if I had an infection. They did a pap smear and it didn't show anything but when the PA pushed on my stomach it hurt so she went ahead and put me on an antibiotic. Within a couple days my cramps weren't near as bad.