Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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January 24th, 2010, 10:00 AM
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Proud JM hostess
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: @ JM if I'm not at work
Posts: 5,209
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I'm numb, anxious, scared, scared, somewhat at peace... realistically I know the chances are small for everything to be "OK." I appreciate everyones optimism and support, but I keep having red blood and while yes it fades it comes back. That's typical ectopic symptom. I don't want to go thru this, but if that's what it is I will have to reguardless I don't have a choice. I cannot change it so I will have to accept whatever is. I know that I won't be TTC, just cannot do it. I'm done for a while if things don't turn out well.
My first loss over this summer I looked for every thread of hope for it to only turn out the way it did, this time I take a realistic approach and of course want the best, but ya know reality IS.
So tomorrow's appointment first thing ultrasound, then bloodwork and appointment. I'm going to request that they test me for more than just the **** hcg. If things don't turn out well, then dammit they need to look at my insides and tell me what is wrong! I'm scared that I just cannot have kids at this point. I've thought of adoption, but that would have to wait until we have a bigger place, different financial situation and my emotional being healed.
I'm sorry for being so negative and while if it turns out good I can look back at this post and hopefully breathe a sigh of relief.... but I want to be realistic. Right now the not knowing is sorta killing me and I'm not looking forward to it
small update........
Not good news
Thanks for listening to me vent, guess the closer it gets to the appointment the more nervous I'm getting.
Last edited by Celena; January 25th, 2010 at 10:20 AM.
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January 24th, 2010, 10:14 AM
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Mom of 4
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,497
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Hugs!!!!
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January 24th, 2010, 10:15 AM
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Proud Car Seat Technician
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 18,653
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Celena, I'm so sorry for all your heartache. I really hope that this appointment goes well for you. Regardless, please know that I'm here for you. You can PM me anytime.
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January 24th, 2010, 10:24 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 16,067
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We will keep you in our thoughts tomorrow. Please update us as soon as you can.
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Missing our Angel since April 11, 2008
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January 24th, 2010, 10:38 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 8,385
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HUGS.... Please just keep postitive!!!! I know it it hard...... But thier is so many women this has happened to... and have a healthy little one 9 months later! Keep faith that you will be one of them.... HUGS.. KUP
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January 24th, 2010, 10:54 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: the lower 48
Posts: 3,053
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I completely understand how difficult it is to remain positive and have hope. All the same, I am hoping and praying that everything will be ok and you will have a great appointment tomorrow.
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January 24th, 2010, 11:03 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Southern PA
Posts: 13,228
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I hope all is well tomorrow and you come back with great news!!! No matter what Celena, we are here for you. You are not alone.... Try not to be to scared. Close your eyes and picture all of us hugging you close, giving you comfort and the strength you need to carry you through to your appointment.
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January 24th, 2010, 11:03 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 6,806
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Hugs! I'm hoping you get good news tomorrow!
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Tammy, mommy to:
Jessica(16), Daniel(15), Anna(12), Kaylee(10), Emily(8), Alyssa(7), Eli(6), Nathan(4), Natalie(3), Bethany(1)
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January 24th, 2010, 11:20 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: northern Indiana
Posts: 1,191
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I'm so sorry. I say tomorrow DEMAND answers. If they only want to run an HCG then tell them no. Tell them that you're on a roller coaster AND you're paying for their services-- time for answers.
I'm so sorry again. 
__________________
~*~ Jessica ~*~
Mom to:
Madison Rey 11-24-2000
Cole Anthony 5-23-2002
Mia Annelise 3-29-2012
^angel^ 10wks, 2 days, D&C 12wks, 3 days 11-2-09
^angel^ 5wks, 5 days 1-2-10
^angel^ 11wks, 1 day 5-22-10 with D&C
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January 24th, 2010, 11:38 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123
I hope all is well tomorrow and you come back with great news!!! No matter what Celena, we are here for you. You are not alone.... Try not to be to scared. Close your eyes and picture all of us hugging you close, giving you comfort and the strength you need to carry you through to your appointment.
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This was so well said that I am just going to ditto it.
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January 24th, 2010, 11:55 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 6,535
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Celena, I understand your fears, I would not wish them on my worst enemy. Your in my prayers again tonight, you are a strong woman and will deal with whatever God gives you, I have faith in that. Praying your bean is a miracle like so many of us have had, love you girl, lots of hugs your way.
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January 24th, 2010, 12:18 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 2,259
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My thoughts are with you. We are here for you!
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January 24th, 2010, 02:19 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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Hugs! I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this. I pray that tomorrow you go in there and they tell you everything is fine!
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January 24th, 2010, 04:59 PM
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Really Just Angela
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,486
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I'll be praying. And you have every right to demand whatever you want...they should simply offer it to you. If they don't...I'll send you go postal vibes. This is YOUR body and you deserve to figure it all out!!!!
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 Thanks to Alethia for the awesome siggy!
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January 25th, 2010, 03:54 AM
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Thinking of you during this terribly difficult time. Your approach is truly inspirational & I wish for nothing but positive news.
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January 25th, 2010, 05:49 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,623
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Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.
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Thank you Shortcake for my awesome Siggy!
Ask me about Thirtyone gifts!
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January 25th, 2010, 05:54 AM
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Waiting patiently....
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,770
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I hope you have a great appointment. Please keep us posted. Thinking of you.
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January 25th, 2010, 08:20 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,946
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We're praying for you hun!
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January 25th, 2010, 10:22 AM
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Proud JM hostess
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: @ JM if I'm not at work
Posts: 5,209
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Not good
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January 25th, 2010, 11:07 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 8,385
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Celena.... I am thinking of you... HUGS
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