[j&jmom]

I've cried everyday this week starting when I started bleeding on Tuesday. I just feel extremely drained and I haven't been doing anything around the house. I feel like I am letting my family down, but I just don't have the energy. I'm hoping this feeling will go away soon. I know my hormones are still messed up, but I feel like sleeping all day . . . and then I can't sleep at night. I'm hoping when I go back to work that I will have other things to think about and these feelings will slowly go away. How long did it take you before you could say that you felt normal again . . . or at peace?

[mommy x 10]

I cried every day for a week at least and then I'd start having days when I didn't cry. And it kept getting better. But I still have days that it will hit me. I may not cry but I feel soooo sad and have to fight to keep the tears back. Most times I can talk to someone about my loss and then some days I can't. A couple ladies at church shared that they had miscarriages about 10 years ago and that they still have hard days sometimes. It comforted me to know that. I don't want to ever get over losing my baby but I wanted to be able to handle it better and I do, but there are still hard days or moments even.

[mafiamom]

i cried the whole week i was m/c'ing. it certainly doesnt help that pregnancy hormones make you weepy even at the best of times, let alone when you are going thru something traumatic.

i started feeling a LOT better when my bleeding stopped. i got some energy back and my out look in general improved.

it helped that i was given the go ahead to exercise. it helped me feel that i was in some sort of control over my body, as well as making me feel that i am getting healthy for the next go 'round.

i dont think something like this every goes completely away..... time heals but we will always remember, and regret.

hugs. i hope you start feeling better soon.

[kitkat8323]

i lost my baby a little over 5 months ago oct and nov were good months for me hardly no crying but after that ive been crying at least once a week. its getting worse for me now cause my due date is quickly approaching and im having a really hard time dealing with it

[ma2b2010]

I'm so sorry for your loss ***HUGS*** I had my d&c in December (9 wks pregnant). I cried every day that week... I don't think I've ever cried so hard and so long in my entire life. By xmas, I was in pretty good spirits, although anytime someone would tell me how sorry they were, I'd start crying. Personally, it helped that people (close friends and family) knew about my m/c. It helped to talk about it, instead of harboring my feelings... It was also nice to have the love and support.

It has been a little more than a month since my d&c and I feel normal. However, there are periods where I feel delirious and over-emotional.... I've come to accept the fact that I went through a loss, and like any other loss of a loved one, it will take time to heal emotionally. I talk to my dh about it every so often and he has been wonderful. I also talk to my mother about it and I think it has helped me cope.

Don't feel ashamed if it takes you a long time to mourn. Everyone is different. Just make sure you take the time to mourn for your loss, and do whatever it takes to help you feel good again. Hugs again, and best wishes to you!

[MeggysMommy]

The first week was really hard for me as well. It was really hard to face people who knew I was pregnant, but didn't know that I had m/c. I still find myself randomly crying and it always feels like the worst possible time too. ~hugs~ and it does start to get better. Some woman its different than others. But I hope that you are able to heal soon.

[LisaG825]

I had my m/c 12/16/09. My first week I was really emotional. I went in on 12/16 at 8:20 for an appt. to change my bp meds and found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat. By 9:00 or so I had finally called my dh he was working. I was at my appt. alone. Dr. came in to talk about inducing. I didn't get to leave the hospital until the next day around 2pm. I didn't eat the 16th and ate a little bit that night. I laid around the house and didn't do anything myself. DH and I ate out a couple times that week but that was it. Luckily I was on Christmas break (I work at a school) so I had 2 weeks off. I didn't do any housework or anything. I had to take a shower before I could leave the hospital on the 17th and didn't take another one until the 22nd because I had family from out of state come so we all went out to eat. Otherwise to be honest I probably wouldn't have taken a shower. I ended up passing out in the shower. I was overwhelmed. Didn't really want to see anyone yet. Things really didn't start getting better for me until after Christmas was over. Even then I still cried practically every day for about another week. I went back to work on Jan 4th or so for about 2 1/2 hours and couldn't handle seeing kids. Also not all the teachers knew at work so a couple asked "how is mama doing?" I was sick all the time so they always asked. I cried when I told them. I ended up taking the rest of the week off. By the next week pretty much everyone knew at work except for the students. It is easier to talk about my m/c now. I have been crying a lot lately but I had some new things come up that have stressed me out. It has been 6 1/2 wks since my m/c.
Try to stay strong. Things will get better for you. You will have some good days and some bad. If you ever need to talk I am here as well as everyone else on here. If you need to pm me you can.

[Kary♥RN]

You asked when did you feel normal again..... Normal... After you have a loss... I think you have to find out what your new normal is..... It has been 14 months since my first loss, 12 months, and 4 months since my last...... I cry almost everyday... tear up everyday. Everyday I get up... I am sad, I miss what I have lost. I miss what I don't have, I miss my babies... I always will. I don't know if have three losses in 11 months, makes it harder, or if I would still be feeling like this over a year later. But please don't think you are alone.. your feelings are "normal".... HUGS

[Justjessie]

I was a mess for a week. I didn't do anything. DH had to take care of the kids and I didn't work. I couldn't look at anything that had to do with babies. It was Thanksgiving week and I didn't want to be around family.

Once I lost weight, my BODY felt normal and then I got my period and I felt "normal" but never ever over the baby I lost.

I was shopping for clothes for the new pregnancy today...and a woman in there said she was due ON MY DUE DATE and I got tears in my eyes. I looked at her and teared up, thinking about how I'd look like her if I hadn't lost it. Yesterday we went to get a new car and the dealer guy asked when we were due and we told him and he said "My wife is due the third week of June!" (Well now of course she is...) And DH and I didn't say anything. I half expected one of us to say "Well we were, too, but our baby died." (We tell everyone.) But no one said anything. I thought being pregnant again would help. It feels good but it sure didn't replace losing the one I lost.

I'm still early in the loss process though, believe it or not...mine was only 2 months ago. I do wonder if it gets easy as time goes on. I definately am not as depressed 24/7 now. But if I think about it I get sad.

[Natalie_Snow]

I do not cry anymore. I cried a lot during the first 2 weeks. It's been almost 2 months since my m/c. Things got better for me in about 4 weeks after I lost the baby. I still get sad sometimes, though.

[dansyl]

I cried for the first 2 weeks non-stop. It's normal to cry. You are mouring the loss of your child... it gets easier though... not a lot... but it does...

[SkyBaby]

I still cry. This week is especially difficult because a friend at work just found out she's pregnant and wont stop talking about it. I'm happy for her, but sheesh.. way to rub it in ya know. I'm notoriously negative as it is. Always have been that way. I can't be optimistic, not when I get disappointed more often than not. Mostly just to protect my sanity that I don't let myself get my hopes up.

DH essentially told me to get over it. "Find something else to be upset about." >.< Ouch. He cried the day I first started losing our baby, but seems to be 'over it' now. Every day for a while I've been feeling on the verge of tears.

My job keeps me busy enough that I don't get a chance to think. When I do, like just laying in bed, I cry. Even now, I'm having to fight tears because I know DH is sick of seeing me moping and upset. He's hopelessly optimistic.. and that gets freakin annoying sometimes.. like now..

[beccasmom7718]

I think after my loss last wednesday..i went numb..it only started to hit me this week. I went shopping at old navy because i need clothes 2 days ago......2weeks ago i went shopping at old navy to get maternity clothes.
April is coming up and 2 days before my daughters birthday is my due date of my baby i lost in september. I think about all my losses.. and I wonder where I would be if my first m/c never happened...or my son wasnt born still..I wonder what i did wrong.
Its hard. Everyone i know that knows how many losses i've had asks me how i can have such a positive outlook... they dont know its just a mask...i dont want them to feel sorry for me..i want them to think im doing just fine.
I barely ate last week...but i didnt cry.......i have cried almost everyday this week. I dont feel like doing anything..
Its harder this time because my sister is pregnant. she isnt happy...is smoking pot..no prenatal care ... nothing...and everything is going good for her....and its hard..
I hope that in time i can stop crying too. If you ever need to talk you can pm me.

[JesSsica]

I also was a mess when I found out. I was a mess the whole four days I had to carry the baby before my D&C and thankfully I had a five day weekend so I didn't have to go to work. I cried the morning of my D&C and then I felt better after surgery. I do have moments where it catches me off guard but haven't cried really since then, only teared up and felt sad here and there.

I have to say, outwardly I seem to be fine by anyone who is around me. Inwardly, even though I totally feel at peace with what happened, I must not be. I have been unable to lose the baby weight I gained and I have gained more since then. Total emotional eating. I guess that means as much as I'm convincing myself I'm fine about my two losses, I must not be.

People grieve differently I suppose. I wish I'd just cry and get it out because my clothes aren't going to fit me anymore if I keep this up. *sigh*

[j&jmom]

Thank you so much for telling me your stories. It really does make me feel better to know I'm not crazy. My dh doesn't feel the same way I do . . . he is sad and wishes it never happened, but I don't think he understands completely how I feel and how my body just feels different . . . I knew something was wrong before I made it to the hospital. I didn't feel right and I feel different now. . . .I don't know how to explain it to him. I was waiting to tell everyone I was pregnant, so only my parents, sister, and boss know what happened. I've been off work for a week though and I'm dreading going back and having people ask me where I was. I'm never sick and I hate lying, but I'm afraid if I say the words m/c I'll start crying. This is really tough. Thanks for helping me cope.

[LisaG825]

Don't overdue anything. I went back to work after having 2 1/2 weeks off and ended up leaving after only 2 1/2 hours. I couldn't take anymore. People were asking me about the baby (they didn't know I m/c) and then some asked how I was doing (they did know). I had to leave. I don't know if my boss was mad that I left but when she spoke to me I was crying. Obviously I wasn't going to be able to my job b/c I was a mess emotionally. I ended up taking the rest of the week off and went back the next week. By then pretty much every teacher knew by word of mouth so it wasn't as bad. They did ask how I was doing and I just told them I was fine. I was still not fine but it was just easier to tell them that then to tell them how I actually felt/feel. Just try to take it easy and if you aren't ready don't go.

[mafiamom]

honestly.... doesnt it seem sometimes that the sympathy is the worst? i can handle matter of factness, but sympathy/pity - ugh. that gets me every single time.

i know everyone is different, but i have found i am able to talk so much better about my loss with people who just lay it out there rather then the hugs, and the im so sorry's and the are you ok's.....

[j&jmom]

Yeah . . . my little sister (10 years younger than me . . . . the baby and a newlywed) called me and was giving me the sympathy thing and I couldn't talk to her. I love my sister, but I just didn't want to talk about it with her. At least my mom said, "I don't know what you are going through, but I'm sorry" . . . . and then she proceded to take my kids for the rest of the week. I missed them, but they didn't need to see me being a mess. I know my boss is going to say something . . . ask me how I'm doing . . . I'm going to have to take several deep breaths tomorrow. I think it will be good to get to work though . . . I need something else to think about . . . . and I miss my "kids" (students).

[mafiamom]

i hope everything is going ok for you today. you are in my thoughts.

be sure to tell us how it all went. i hope being back in the "real world" took your mind off it some....

hugs.

[nurselochia]

I think it's hard for the guys to get it...it wasn't quite as "real"...they never felt pregnant, never had morning sickness, the hormones, etc. that happens to us. My DH was sad, but I'm not sure he gets why I still get sad. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to grieve. I went back to work (in labor and delivery, if you can imagine a more painful place to go back to) 3 days after my D&C. It was absolute hell, trying to get throught the "I'm so sorries, etc", but it was a step forward. I grieved hard for 2 months...then I was okay. I cried when I got my first period - because it was proof to me that my body was moving on, when I wasn't ready to. I still get sad, especially as my due date gets closer, but it's, not really "easy", but better now. Sorry for you loss, and be kind to yourself