[Kking2824]

ok, So i was talking with my preacher last night and at our chruch there are a few ladies that have been through miscarriages. I have been having a really hard time lately and the preacher wanting to talk with me an dh. He told us that most of the women said that they named their baby. I told him i was only at 9 and half weeks but he said that the women that lost theirs early comsidered the baby to be a girl bc when they lost it there was not sex yet. Is that true or should we just consider the baby out lil angel like we do now?

[mafiamom]

i think you should do whatever you feel is right in your heart. whatever brings you peace - if you want to name your baby b/c it makes YOU feel better, then go for it. dont do it cause others have.

if you think your baby was a boy - then that go with it. if you want to just think of it as an angel, you have every right to.

everyone grieves and manages differently. there is no step by step guide to get you thru (too bad, right??? ) i think we all just have to go day by day - feeling what we feel, dealing how we deal and eventually the healing begins.

hugs. i am sorry you are having a rough time of it right now.

[EJsMommy]

Do what feels right in your heart.

[noworries]

I agree, do what feels right for you. I know some people choose a unisex name to name their baby if they didn't know the sex. Other people just choose what sex they thought baby was and name it appropriately.

[lex1078]

Some women feel better after naming their angels. I had a loss at 9.5 weeks but we never named him/her because we didn't know the sex. But I've learned that we should be able to know the sex from the lab work that was done and the next time I'm at the Dr. I'm going to ask about it. I will probably name the baby cause I'm hoping it will help with some closure, KWIM?

[Kking2824]

Stephanie- i didnt even think about asking the doctor. I wonder if i call if they would tell me bc i dont have any apt coming up unless i get pg again soon.

thank you for your responses. I havent decided if thats what i want to do but im kinda leaning that way. even if i have a unisex name, I think that that may help me with closure bc i think that is my problem now and why im having such a hard time. I just cant let go.

[Augie]

I named mine at the suggestion of ladies here on JM. I found that it helped me a lot and did give me a sense of closure. As far as gender I prayed and went with what was on my heart. Some do unisex names, as you have mentioned. Whatever works best for you. Follow your heart.

[stephjp]

When we first found out we were pg, I knew in my heart it was a girl...And when we lost it, I felt the same way...We named our baby... and it really has helped ease our pain and bring closure. I personally felt that not naming my baby was like pretending she never existed... even though I was only 9 wks when I m/c... Whatever your heart tells you to do...do it.

[Kary♥RN]

Out of my three losses.... I only named one.. My first was a very early loss... that is just my "First Angel".... The second was my little girl, Hope.. I saw her, I have a picture of her, I watched her little heart beat...... My third was another early loss.. I call that baby.. my birthday baby... I would have been due.. 9 days after my birthday. The babies I never got to see... I didn't know what the sex would have been... and for me.. Names mean so much... I could just "give" them a name without knowing. They did testing so I knew what my second loss would have been.

But only you can make that choice to name, or to not name... Or to just give the baby a "cute" name... like some women called thier babies... gummy bear (since that is what it looked like on the u/c) Or they used thier's and thier dh intials.. Like I'm Kary and dh Tom... so it would be KT.... Just think.. and do what is in your heart... HUGS!

[Natalie_Snow]

You should do what feels right to you! I felt I needed to name him,so I gave my baby a unisex name.

[Kking2824]

so i broke down and called the doctor to see if they by chance knew the sex and they said they didnt. so i guess if we do decide to i will go with a unisex name..