[LisaG825]

I had another student at work ask me how far along I am now. It is sooo hard to tell a little kid that I lost the baby. This is the third student that has asked me about my pregnancy. The first one I told started crying. Believe it or not though I have not cried once while talking to them. Although afterward I cry. My hands shake and my heart races the entire time I talk to them about it. I feel like it takes so much energy out of me just to tell them what happened. I feel like I CAN'T cry in front of them b/c I have to be strong. Why would they want to see a teacher cry?


Tomorrow/Wednesday: I go back for bw tomorrow. I really want to poas right now just to see if I am neg. yet but they are so darn expensive. I bought the cbe digital tests so it was like $20 for 5 of them. I don't really want to waste it on that since I know I am not preg. I should have gone to the $1 store and just bought one from there. OH WELL Guess I will know on Wed. what my result is. I also have a dr. appointment that day to see my actual DR! I have a lot of questions for him and I hope he can answer all of them. My #1 question will be how could my bw be negative and rise 3 weeks later only to go back down? I think I am going to request a u/s to make sure my mole or tissue isn't growing back from my molar pregnancy or to make sure I didn't get pg and miscarry again.


On another note: I talked to my stepsister and we are going to go out to eat on Thursday. This will be the first time I am going to be around her by myself since my m/c. I am going to take her a book and gift card and tell her that I can't go to her shower. I have no idea how this is going to go. She has no idea. I just sent her a text last night saying that I wanted to go out to eat with her sometime within the next couple weeks.

Sorry to type a long msg but I just had a lot on my mind. DH and I are kind of fighting too so that is a little rough.

[mafiamom]

sorry things are rough right now. i pray that your dinner goes well with your stepsister, that you both have the right words to say.

that is so tough having to deal with the kids. it is hard enough with adults when you can just say things didnt work out and they can fill in the blanks... with kids.... ugh. they need so much more explaination. HUGS. i am sorry you are having to deal with that.

try to make up with dh. you need all the love and support you can get right now!

feel better, hun ~

[girl_friday]

Oh, that really does sound hard to have to tell your students that and explain everything to them while remaining strong.

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now!

[Natalie_Snow]

I am sorry you're going through this!

I decided that if I ever get PG while teaching, I am not going to tell my students about my PG. It is easier for me to deal with people who didn't know vs the ones who knew.

{HUGS}

[Kary♥RN]

Lisa HUGS.... I know how hard that is... I work 3 days a week... that rotate. so It may be a month before I see the same people.... After my second loss... I still had people asking me..... It was soooo hard. It doesn't get easier saying you lost your baby....

I hope everything goes well with your Step sister... I will be thinging of you... HUGS

[alethia]

i think you're making a good choice for not going to the shower for you and her - and it's sooo great that you're meeting her for lunch. I think that will be good for both of you. I'll send T&P that it goes smoothly! Big HUGS. I'm sorry about people asking you when you're due - i know that is sooooo hard. I had ppl asking me for a few weeks after my last loss. (((HUGS)))