early intro(losses mentioned)

martilynne · #1 February 8th, 2010, 06:22 PM

I may be jumping the gun just a little but...I'm Marti, right now I am 14w3d pregnant but I found out today our baby girl has trisomy 18. We are completely heart broken and the only thing that is getting us through this is the thought of conceiving again soon. We have a surgical consult tomorrow and we will discuss either inducing labor or getting a D&E, whichever one we choose it will be done on Friday.

This will be my third loss. My first was a missed miscarriage discovered at 12 weeks, I had to have a D&C and it ended up being a partial molar pregnancy. My second I miscarried naturally at 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I guess our decision is not 100% final but we just can't imagine bringing our little girl into this world suffering just so we can selfishly see her clinging on to life for only a few hours.

I didn't really know where I should be posting right now since I don't really belong in my DDC anymore but I'm still pregnant so I don't know if I should be posting here either. I just got a siggy made on friday it is so beautiful and we look so happy I don't want to quit using it yet. Thanks for listening to me rant, I think actually writing this down is helping me a lot.

Joliemommy · #2 February 8th, 2010, 07:16 PM

Im so sorry Marti. I have no words to make you feel better. I dont know wht these things happen. Its just not fair

Kary♥RN · #3 February 8th, 2010, 07:40 PM

Marti... I am so sorry for your losses... HUGS... What you are going through is so hard... I wish I could take your pain away.. HUGS.. welcome to the board. The ladies here are great..
Also I know somedays can be hard, or harder than others.. Please stop by the
Pregnancy Loss - JustMommies Message Boards Some times you need the support of lossing you baby.. {{HUGS}}

LisaG825 · #4 February 8th, 2010, 08:51 PM

So sorry you are going through this Marti. Will be thinking of you!

Celena · #5 February 8th, 2010, 09:51 PM

Marti I'm so sorry

Trisomy 18, Edwards syndrom, is that right? That is such devastating news and your post is so heartfelt, you have the hardest decision a parent ever has to make. A time with life should be so joyous and the walls come crashing in on you... your heart is in the right place and you, your DH will make the best decision. Please don't let anyone tell or let you think otherwise because they don't know unless they were in your shoes! Just know you're being entirely selfless.

You're welcome to join us, like Kary mentioned there are allot of wonderful Grief forums... like pregnancy loss, or the grief forum in general. There are women here and in the grief forums that have gone thru similar experiences. I don't know where to steer you either tho, but if ever you need support please don't hesitate to PM me. I'll try to help as best I can, not saying that I will be able to, but I'll try.

Everyone here is wonderful, compassionate and supportive... we all have our down times and we're here to try to lift each other up or try to help each other weather the storm(s) as we have loss(es) and get back on the TTCAL mission we set out. So please don't feel like you don't belong, we'll accept you and try to help you as best we can.

mafiamom · #6 February 9th, 2010, 04:33 AM

my heart is absolutely breaking for you. this is a cruel hand to be dealt and i can only imagine the pain, anger, and confusion you must be feeling.

we are here for you. please feel free to vent, cry and scream - we will do everything we possible can to help you thru - whatever you may decide.

huge hugs~

lex1078 · #7 February 9th, 2010, 05:05 AM

Marti, I'm so sorry for your losses. You are of course welcome here. Your story brought tears to my eyes. You are a very strong woman to go through this and still want to TTC right away. I'm just getting back into TTC after a miscarriage in July '09. I want you to know that I think you are making the right decision.

Please KUP on how things go on Friday. I will keep you, your DH and your little girl in my T&P's.

SkyBaby · #8 February 9th, 2010, 06:18 AM

Feel free to join us or either of the other support/grief forums on here. Whichever works best for you. I am so sorry.. I can't imagine the anger and confusion and pain you and your husband are feeling.

Don't let anyone make you feel selfish. You have an extremely difficult decision to make. Whichever you and your husband choose, you are not selfish.

ma2b2010 · #9 February 9th, 2010, 06:40 PM

marti - i wish i knew the right things to say... I'm so terribly sorry for what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you

Frangipani · #10 February 9th, 2010, 08:59 PM

Marti, I posted over in the DDC also but saw your post here. I just wanted to say again how amazing you are, how strong, and hope that Friday comes quickly so you can begin the process of healing.

HopefulMommy81 · #11 February 9th, 2010, 10:22 PM

Marti- Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what's going through your head or your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you and DH and your baby girl. These ladies are wonderful and I hope we can support you through your experience.

mafiamom · #12 February 10th, 2010, 05:34 AM

thinking of you right now. sending out huge cyber hugs~

j&jmom · #13 February 10th, 2010, 09:46 AM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I always thought pregnancy was supposed to be a joyous and hopeful time until I had my mc and started coming here. Your story breaks my heart. I wish you all the strength to make it through next Friday and the many days after that.

ldovey83 · #14 February 10th, 2010, 09:56 AM

Marti I am so sorry to hear about this.. I can't even imagine.. We are all here for you if you just need to vent, but also like some of the other ladies mentioned check out the pregnancy loss forum and the still born section cause I know some of the other mothers have been through a similar loss.. HUGS hun and just keep praying and asking God to send you peace as you and your DH go through this tough time.. God bless...