[j&jmom]

I got a blood draw again yesterday and I'm officially negative again. I kind of had mixed feelings. First, I was upset because there was a part of me that hoped the first two test were wrong and by some miracle my hcg would go back up . . . eventhough it would have seriously been a miracle. Secondly, I was relieved because this meant I actually did go through everything naturally and I wouldn't have to have a d&c. Hopefully this means my body will be ready quicker to TTC again. I finally threw away all my positive hpt's from my pregnancy except one. I can't throw it away, because when I do I feel like I will have absolutely nothing left to remember my baby. This is probably TMI, but I really didn't want to throw away my used pads . . . . felt like I was throwing out my baby, but I knew that is just crazy. Did any of you make something to remember your baby angel? I was thinking about taking a picture of my hpt and just sticking the picture away in a little frame somewhere . . . not for public view, just for myself. I don't know. Any suggestions?

[Kary♥RN]

HUGS..... It is so hard to throw them away... What I did is bought a necklace for my two losses that I don't know what the sex was... and for my little girl.. I named her Hope. I found a ring that reads HOPE.... I also have an ultrasound picture of her.... I finally did throw out my HPT's.... But it is ok to hold on to them. You can always get a box... and keep them, or you can make a collage... (Simular to our siggies)..... With the picture of your HPT... I don't know your belief... But It could be the blue skys, flowers... If you were due around a special time or holiday... so this way you can put it out for people to see.... I am so sorry you have to go through this.... HUGS

[Celena]

IT is sort of bittersweet.... bitter because of such a tragic loss and sweet because you can try again for that little sweet pea.

I'm so sorry tho, it's hard a hard hard road travelled

I threw away all my hpt's from my two losses this summer, DH asked if I Really wanted to do that but I thought perhaps it was going to help me move on... alleviate my holding onto them and my terrible depression. No it didn't, but I have many pictures dated with the tests so thankfully I have SOMEthing. This baby, well I kept one and threw the other 30 away... I asked them for some u/s pictures because I know they're all in their files in the computer system. We'll see how that goes...

HANG ON TO whatever you want to, like Kary said you can make a photo collage... write a poem framing it with the hpt strip out of the casing. Or buy a special charm for a necklace or bracelet with a birthstone. Whatever your heart leads you to do honey

I've journaled some.