Telling?

Isabelle · #1 February 20th, 2010, 06:06 AM

What's everyone doing regarding telling again? Meaning when you get that BFP. When will you start telling people?

We've always told people immediately (same day we POAS!). I've been going back and forth with this and at first I wanted to tell immediately again, then I thought gosh no..I'm not saying a word till around 12 weeks, but then there's no guarantee after 12 weeks....so we're back to going to telling everyone immediately. Just going to enjoy the pregnancy ASAP.

There's no right or wrong answer to this question

It's all very much a personal choice

mommy x 10 · #2 February 20th, 2010, 06:20 AM

We haven't usually told immediately but very soon after. We usually can't keep it a secret very long. When we get our next BFP, I think we'll do the same. I had thought about not telling people but if I do have another loss, I will be devastated and upset and those who know me will know something is wrong an wonder. I'd also like to have their support and prayers no matter what happens. I figure, I'll be scared for a bit in the beginning, probably the whole pregnancy and it will make me feel better to know others are praying.

Isabelle · #3 February 20th, 2010, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy x 7

I will be devastated and upset and those who know me will know something is wrong an wonder. I'd also like to have their support and prayers no matter what happens. I figure, I'll be scared for a bit in the beginning, probably the whole pregnancy and it will make me feel better to know others are praying.

Totally agree with this. I want the support too.

Kary♥RN · #4 February 20th, 2010, 06:24 AM

Well we are newly into our fourth pregnancy (lost the previous 3) ... And we told our parents this week.. After it was confirmed by Bloodwork. My co workers have to know.. since I can't be in certain rooms with, with certain patients. And a very few close frinends know. We will let other people know after our U/S to make sure this hb is strong.. (We did tell everyone after our u/s with our second loss.. we saw the hb and lost that baby a week later).

We didn't tell our family about our first loss... until we were pregnant again (My mom threw it up in my face a few times... that I didn't tell her about the first loss) So now when we find out and it is confirmed... I tell. And then have to go back and tell them when the pregnancy fails.... and that just kills me... but I can't take it being thrown in my face if I didn't tell them and they found out.....

No matter what it is a hard choice. But I am sure what ever you chose will be the right one...

lex1078 · #5 February 20th, 2010, 06:26 AM

As much as I can't stand keeping it a secret, we're going to wait until 12 weeks. It's going to be REALLY hard. DH and I decided though that we will have one go to person each. We both need someone to talk to about it. I decided on my BF who isn't part of our group of friends and DH is telling his BF whom he works with and also isn't a part of our group. We're not even telling family.

Isabelle · #6 February 20th, 2010, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lex1078

As much as I can't stand keeping it a secret, we're going to wait until 12 weeks. It's going to be REALLY hard. DH and I decided though that we will have one go to person each. We both need someone to talk to about it. I decided on my BF who isn't part of our group of friends and DH is telling his BF whom he works with and also isn't a part of our group. We're not even telling family.

That's such a great idea to have a "got to person". Really great idea

mafiamom · #7 February 20th, 2010, 06:46 AM

this time around (if i am blessed enough to have another this time around....) i wont be telling anyone but my sister. i have to have someone to talk to about it. it was so upsetting unannouncing it and it made other people so sad when it didnt work out... i dont want to get everyone excited again until i am sure.

i am treading cautiously this time.

nurselochia · #8 February 20th, 2010, 07:09 AM

We haven't told anyone yet. We always told within a week before the m/c. But it was soo hard to have to go back and tell everyone we miscarried later. So this time we're waiting until after we have a good US and 12 weeks, then we'll tell our family. I might mention it to my 2 closest friends this weekend, but we'll see. I'm actually not planning on telling anyone at work until they start to notice I'm getting pudgier around the middle...I just thought it might be funny! It probably won't go on too long since this will be my 5th pregnancy (4th child) and I work with OB nurses!

BeccaM · #9 February 20th, 2010, 08:40 AM

First time we told the whole world same day after we got 3+ HPT's. I had my loss about a month later and it was so hard telling people. My DH was good and he actually made the phone calls to our parents who then called the rest of the family. Next time we have decided to wait at least until first u/s and make sure everything is going as it should. Although my MIL has made my DH promise that she still gets to know as soon as we do. I will also tell people at work. Several ladies are good friends of mine plus being a Peds office I need to be careful who I am around.

Kelly_bean83 · #10 February 20th, 2010, 09:53 AM

i have to say that its much easier to tell ppl than to untell. With dd2 we only told 3 other ppl untill her gender u/s at 16 wks. We were going to do the same this last time and i only told 1 other person besides dh. Part of me wished i had told more ppl so i had some support when we lost it, but to me it was better this way... i guess. If we get pg again, we probably wont tell till the gender u/s again.

ohnicole · #11 February 20th, 2010, 09:59 AM

DH and I actually disagree on this one. I would like to do the same as with our first BFP- I told a couple friends right away so I could have someone to talk about it with, then we told everyone after seeing a hearteat on u/s in the 8th week. He would like to wait until we have the NT scan in the 13th week.

I feel like I need the support in the first trimester because I will be soooo freaked. And also I feel like I want everyone to be as excited about this baby as they were about our first pg. But DH really hated having to tell people about the m/c, and I totally get that. It is not fun. So we are undecided at the moment.

JesSsica · #12 February 20th, 2010, 10:20 AM

As much as I would love to wait until 12 weeks just to save everyone from potential sadness, I showed early with all of my pregnancies and couldn't pull it off. I think I would want everyone's prayers this time around anyway. My aunts were actually mad at me that I didn't tell them when I was going through my chemical pregnancy roller coaster and made me promise I'd tell right away in the future so they could get their prayers said. It was very sweet of them...

jensma · #13 February 20th, 2010, 05:45 PM

We're waiting until 13ish weeks. Its just the date that works for me and I do NOT want to tell right now. 5 people outside of myself and DH know and I'm keeping it that way!

DukesMommy12 · #14 February 21st, 2010, 03:09 AM

We told right away, and they we miscarried. Actually the day after we miscarried our Pastor announced it at church and wanted to pray for us... (Sweet right?) Well a close friend of mine in the church (dumb as he is) decided to stand up and say "No that wont be necessary, they miscarried." Thank GOD I had missed church that day or I would have been humiliated.

So Im a little burnt...

I want to wait till the 1st trimester is over.

Only our parents and our very close friends will know right away.

HopefulMommy81 · #15 February 21st, 2010, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy x 7

We haven't usually told immediately but very soon after. We usually can't keep it a secret very long. When we get our next BFP, I think we'll do the same. I had thought about not telling people but if I do have another loss, I will be devastated and upset and those who know me will know something is wrong an wonder. I'd also like to have their support and prayers no matter what happens. I figure, I'll be scared for a bit in the beginning, probably the whole pregnancy and it will make me feel better to know others are praying.

I totally agree with that! I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant before I had my loss, but everyone found out after because I was a mess. And I think I actually hurt my parents' feelings not telling them, even though it was technically a CP and I didn't even make it to 14 DPO. I don't think there's going to be somne big announcement except for a few of our close friends and my MIL and BIL. My sister is getting an "I Love My Aunt" onesie I found at Target

zkat · #16 February 21st, 2010, 07:48 AM

I have the unfortunate problem that my bbs give away that I am pregnant. I went from 34B to a 36C in less than a week. There are a few people we have to tell. My soccer team captains, unless I can fake an injury to not play, but they would both know anyway. I would tell my boss and probably my BF.

We would NOT tell our parents because - DH's mom cannot keep a secret. To make it more difficult, if she found out we told someone and not her, she would be very upset. So he all ready told her she would not know until 12 weeks.

HopefulMommy81 · #17 February 21st, 2010, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccaM

I will also tell people at work. Several ladies are good friends of mine plus being a Peds office I need to be careful who I am around.

I totally understand that- I work at a Childrens Hospital so I can't have certain patients so everyone at work will find out quickly

But you know, they were amazing during my early loss and so incredibly supportive. We didn't tell anyone on DH's side of the family about that pregnancy and I think we're going to tell his mom early on now but ask her not to tell anyone else until a few more weeks go by and we make sure things are going well.

ak_mommie_of_4 · #18 February 21st, 2010, 11:57 AM

I am going to wait until like 14-16 weeks, I know that is a long time, but last time we told everyone right away then had to go tell them we lost the baby, and that was hard so I will wait.

Natalie_Snow · #19 February 21st, 2010, 02:24 PM

I am going to wait until the 2nd Trimester. Only few people new about my PG, so it was easier for me to deal with m/c. Nobody was really excited about us having a baby. My MIL told me to choose a better birth control method after my m/c. She thought that our PG was an accident. lol. I had a big announcement ready for my parents, I was going to tell them on New Year's Eve, but I had a m/c earlier in December.

This time we will keep it a secret for as long as possible, especially from my husband's relatives. His dad never found out about PG but when we mentioned thinking about a baby he said "son, you do not want to have a baby anytime in the nearest future".

My friends didn't get it either. They told me to move on right after m/c. So I am not going to tell them until I'm really showing.

LisaG825 · #20 February 21st, 2010, 04:32 PM

I m/c at 15w4d and had 4 u/s done. My last u/s was done at 13w2d and every u/s I was told everything looked great. Hb was great and baby measured right on time so I am kind of torn. I was really sick and tired though. Not really sure what we will do. We may wait until 20 weeks to tell ppl or until I gain weight I guess.