Bummed

LisaG825 · #1 March 1st, 2010, 09:21 PM

Feeling really bummed today. I had a gut feeling that my results were not going to be good. Had an emotional break down at work today in front of my boss. I am just so tired of having to deal with all this and it doesn't look like it is going to be over anytime soon. Or at least not as soon as I would like it to be. Won't know anything else for another week. Just want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

ohnicole · #2 March 1st, 2010, 09:42 PM

I'm really sorry you got bad news. All of this stuff can really drag you down and make you feel like you're out of control. Sometimes it's just impossible to pretend you're doing okay, even in front of your boss. I hope you get better results next week.

I'm not sure what results you got today, but I had to get weekly hcg tests after my loss, and every week I felt like my whole mood hinged on those results. It wasn't a very good or sane time for me. I can't even imagine how you're feeling after both an induction and a D&C. Sending you hugs.... and open ears for any venting you need to do.

KAB · #3 March 1st, 2010, 10:09 PM

I'm so sorry you've had a bad day, I have seen that this has been going on for too long now and I'm sorry that it's dragging out for you. I hope that things will start to look up for you soon.

LisaG825 · #4 March 2nd, 2010, 06:03 AM

12/16: I was induced at 15w4d due to a partial molar pregnancy

Bhcg's

1/26: 434

1/28: 314

2/2: 264

2/3: Methotrexate Injection #1

Chest X-Ray: Clear

2/10: 188

2/11: Methotrexate Injection #2

2/15: Ultrasound showed retained tissue

2/19: D&C #1

2/26: 144

2/26: Methotrexate injection #3

If this injection doesn't bring me to neg. then I have to get referred to an oncologist. I have read and talked to other girls that have had a molar pg. and they needed ACT-D so that could possibly be in my near future. Guess it all really depends on my next bw. Also, to top it off DH and I are fighting now!!!

martilynne · #5 March 2nd, 2010, 09:51 AM

I'm sorry you're going through all of that. My first m/c was a partial molar pregnancy. I had a D&C at 12w4d, luckily my levels went down to zero about a month after. I hope that now that you got the D&C your levels go down to zero soon.

mafiamom · #6 March 2nd, 2010, 10:50 AM

hmmm i really thought i already replied to this! my post disappeared.....

i am so sorry this is dragging out for you. i can imagine how very ready you are to move on to creating a healthy sticky BFP.... i pray this shot does the trick and brings you down to zero.

hang in there... this could be it!!!

jojo1207 · #7 March 2nd, 2010, 11:01 AM

Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry. You are a strong woman to go through what you're going through and you're going to have bad days. Some days just suck. It's ok. Big hugs. I so hope that last injection does the trick. Hang in there. And tell DH he's not allowed to fight with you until your HCG hits zero, dammit!

Celena · #8 March 2nd, 2010, 01:25 PM

Lisa please don't be disappointed in yourself for breaking down in front of your boss, I know it is akward but I think in some way your boss needs to know the H-E-double hockey sticks you've been thru for the past 2.5 months!

I am really very sorry that it's been so extremely taxing on you, there is no way to be super woman and get thru this without the crazy emotional rollarcoaster... the physical one you have been on is such a driving force in that. Your body still has the hCG in it and then who knows what your other hormones are doing in the process adding to that... I really really hope you get good news and DO NOT need to go that next step. I will pray for you Lisa, sure wish there was more that I could do to comfort you!

LisaG825 · #9 March 2nd, 2010, 05:22 PM

Martylinne- If you don't mind me asking, how long did the dr. tell you to wait after your partial. I was originally told 1 cycle, then 3 months, and now 6 months. If you don't want to answer you don't have to.

ohnicole · #10 March 2nd, 2010, 08:07 PM

Everything you have gone through so far is so difficult. I really hope that your next bw turns out better. With all that you have been dealing with, it is no wonder you got emotional at work. No one can last that long through so much heartache and uncertainty without having a few bad days. If it were me, I would probably just be crying in my bed all the time. You're a very strong woman.

As far as DH, it is so frustrating when they don't support you at the time when you need it most. My DH and I had a particularly rough couple of weeks when we were waiting my first AF after our loss. There was one night when we were arguing (about what to do with baby gifts we had gotten), and he just didn't get why I was so upset, and I just left the house for hours with no explanation. I was furious. After that, we somehow muddled through and figured out how to better get what we needed from each other. It is so tough, though. I hope you two start working it out soon. It is just added stress you don't need right now to be fighting with DH.

Hugs, and good luck with everything.

martilynne · #11 March 2nd, 2010, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaG825

Martylinne- If you don't mind me asking, how long did the dr. tell you to wait after your partial. I was originally told 1 cycle, then 3 months, and now 6 months. If you don't want to answer you don't have to.

He told me to wait 3 cycles (not counting the first cycle after the D&C). We ended up waiting longer (6 cycles) because Kyle had to have brain surgery but that's a whole different story...