[LisaG825]

Not really sure what to think about today. My stepsister had her baby. It is really hard. I wanted to leave her room the second I walked in b/c I could hear the heartbeat on the machine. After she had her everyone was telling her congrats and oooohing and what not. I def. don't feel the same way I did when my nephew was born. It is hard to be happy for her when I hurt so bad. Is that a bad thing? Then there is the jealousy part. She was always the type that said she didn't really want kids for a long time and stuff. I did hold her for a couple of min. It was just so hard to look at her. I couldn't even talk to her and I usually love talking to babies

[Jmcrican137]

I understand why you felt that way. You are still hurting and I think it's normal. My sister just had a baby a few days ago. I held her and kissed her and loved her all up. My sis has 4 kids. Yes, those thoughts of "why not me?" come in my mind, but i try my hardest to push them out. My sister knows it's difficult for me and just gives me words on encouragement when she see's me get alittle quiet instead of "flaunting" baby in my face. Unfortunately, I've come across people that have done that to me and that really hurts. I've had to walk out the room.

hopefully soon we both get our bfp! so we can be goo goo gaa gaa over our little one! lol

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs! I know exactly how you feel and yes that is "normal" for us to feel that way. I can tell you with time it does help. It doesn't go away completely (it never will) but the pain does ease and things do get easier. If you ever need anything even if its just to rant you can PM me

[ohnicole]

There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. You are grieving, and however you have to get through is the right way for you.

My best friend had her baby 1 week after my D&C. Going to see her and the baby was like an obstacle that I had to get past, and I was dreading it so much. And then I was feeling guilty for not being happy for her. It is just really hard to see someone get exactly what you lost. It's like the world is rubbing it in your face. It's impossible not to feel sad and not to miss the chance you had to hold your own baby.

I hope you start to feel better soon. Hugs.

[dreamer10]

I think your feelings are completely normal. It's not been very long since you lost your little one and you should be the one to be holding a new baby soon. Allow yourself to feel this way. As time goes on it will get easier, but the hurt will never completely go away. Don't have guilt over these feelings, just allow yourself the hurt, the pain and even the jealousy. Things will improve, but give yourself some time. I am so sorry you have had to go through this...I will be praying for you...

[EJsMommy]

Huge Hugs. It is completely normal feelings. I have them too. One of our better friends (we are uncle and aunt to their children - now 6) just had her 6th baby this past friday and I have not gone to see her or the baby yet. It hurts and the jealousy feelings comes eventhough I know that it is their baby not mine. I do not think that she is upset with me feeling this way as she herself have gone through it before as well.

[Natalie_Snow]

HUGS!!! I understand how you feel and I think it is completely normal for us to feel that way... My cousin had a baby recently and it was a joy to see her baby! I felt jealous for a moment but then I thought that I was happy for her and it was Her baby. I want mine too.....so much!!

I tell everyone who asks me that I do not want to have kids anytime soon... it hurts me less that way... I do not want them asking me if I am pregnant yet...

I hope you will feel better soon. and see your BFP & H&H 9 months!

[mlyster]

Your feelings are completely normal and it took great courage for you to be there for the birth. When my niece was born I had a really hard time with seeing her the first time. I can tell you it gets much easier each time you see the baby and even though it was tough you will be glad you went. Don't feel bad about your feelings... let yourself feel them. That is the best way to get past them and move through the steps of grieving.

[Kary♥RN]

HUGS... I know exactly what you are going through.. and I felt the same way when my SIL had my niece... I would have delived 2 1/2 weeks later if I didn't loose my little girl. If you ever need to talk please PM me... I know how are it is.. and how hard it is still is... when I hear her milestones.... and I know what I don't have... HUGS..

[ldovey83]

As you can tell we have all been down this road and know how you feel and it is quiet normal... Both of my best friends have had babies since I lost both of my angels.. One in Nov and one just a wk ago, and I put my happy congrats face on, but inside my heart was riping into two... I have more friends that are giving birth from now till June, and I know it is not going to be easy especially cause these friends are local, but I will take that road when we get there.. Hang in there hun... HUGS!!!

[LisaG825]

ldovey- I couldn't even put on a happy face last night. I tried but just couldn't do it. There was at least 20 ppl there and after they came out and told us she had the baby everyone was jumping up and stuff. I just couldn't. They all ran to the window b/c the nurse said that they will bring her out soon.

Tomorrow I go for my follow-up since my D&C. I think I am going to ask the dr. about doing a ct scan just to be sure that nothing has spread or anything. No bw tomorrow b/c they wanted to wait 1 week after my injection. So that means it will end up being about 1 1/2 weeks since my last bw.

Still can't really get that excited about my niece. Don't know why. I know it isn't b/c she is mixed b/c I think mixed babies are adorable. It is just so hard to look at her. I hate feeling this way too! I haven't been back to the hospital since last night. I figured I would wait until they get home and I will go by their house.

[ohnicole]

It is just really hard. I used to be the kind of person who would smile and wave at any baby or little kid from across the room. Now it's like if there is a baby around, I am just uncomfortable and sad.

A lot of my sadness after my m/c did get better with time, but the feeling of sadness that comes with seeing babies and missing my own is definitely still there. Honestly I hate that I have lost the pure happiness of just seeing a cute baby. But I also don't try to push myself into feeling it again. We all deserve to be sad and to miss what we lost. Sometimes it just feels selfish and wrong to be sad when we feel like we should be happy (or when we would have been happy before a loss). But it's okay to grieve.

I hope your followup goes well and you can get the tests that you want to ease your anxiety. Fingers crossed for you.

[Celena]

Lisa everything is still so fresh so your feelings are totally understandable, it's hard to get happy and excited when you feel your heart is being ripped out of your chest seeing someone elses newborn... it's ok to have feelings like that honey! You've been thru ALLOT in the past few months and really it's a part of greiving... you're here to get that support and understanding from ladies who do understand you, understand and feel where you are.

Please don't beat yourself up over it, it's ok honey!

I'm really so sorry you're feeling so hurt and sad right now

[KDD]

It's completely normal to feel that way. We've all been in similar situations. Take things one day at a time.

[SkyBaby]

It's completely normal. I still feel that way even though my loss was 8 months ago. I'm around pregnant women and baby stuff a lot at work and I still have total break downs and jealousy of them. What you feel is totally normal. We all understand hun.