[Celena]

Hi ladies,

Well here's a new cycle group thread for those waiting to TTC... whether it is because you're waiting for your first AF, waiting thru a couple, few cycles here's a group for us!

Post your questions, discussion & vents here! This is your place!

[LisaG825]

I'm here. Feel like I will be in this group for awhile!!! It sucks. I just looked at my chart and I started my CD! from my D&C and think I could O tonight maybe. I guess if that is possible with my hcg not neg. Anyways if I get 3 higher temps in a row I think it will give me ch. Just sucks that we could probably try but we can't

[ohnicole]

I am still on hold, too, I guess. I don't know, I am in some weird limbo place. I have no idea where I will be living in 4 months, where DH will be living in 4 months, whether I will be finishing school, taking care of my sister, doing nothing, who knows. For really the first time in my life I just have no clue what is going to happen to me.

Sounds like a great time to stop TTC, right? But I just cannot do it. I cannot give it up. Everything else sucks and I cannot give it up. So I think we will continue NTNP while I am out of town for 3 out of every 4 weeks. And since my cycles after m/c have ranged from 40-70 days, I cannot plan trips to catch the eggs. Does that qualify as waiting??????

I hate not being in control.

[martilynne]

I'm waiting for now but I'm not sure for how much longer. We are just waiting on AF to show then we will be trying, so hopefully she shows soon

[LisaG825]

Well had my dr. appt. today. It was my follow up from D&C. Basically didn't get anything out of it. He just said they have my appt. set up with the oncologist which isn't until the 22nd. Pathology report said it was consistent with a partial molar. We already new that from when they induced me and sent everything off then. He showed me the pathology report and it didn't say that it was or was not cancer. I asked him about it and he said it is fine. So I don't know if they actually tested for it or not. I get more blood work on Monday so I should know my what my number is that day! Depending on what my number is that day they may give me another methotrexate injection or wait for the oncologist to decide what to do. Dr. also mentioned that he did scrape everything out that was in my uterus but there could be cells or tissue imbedded in my uterus or it could be somewhere else throughout my body. That could be why my level isn't dropping to neg. But he is not certain that is what is wrong. I just took a hpt last night and it was still positive. Lighter than the last time but I only help it for almost an hour before I took it. Was just a spontaneous decision to take one last night. Dr. said he does not want me to get pg. right now. Once I reach neg. he said he doesn't even want me to get pg for a few months after that! So no telling when I will be able to ttc again.

On another note, I got my eye surgery scheduled for next Tuesday!!! Will be glad to have that done. I have all next week off work. I also have an appt. with the Genetics Counselor on the 12th. May have to reschedule that though b/c I am not neg yet and he was hoping I would be neg. by then.

[Celena]

Lisa I know what you mean about feeling like you'll be here forever! Me too lady, right there with you on that one... I certainly hope your results are negative or just next to negative so you don't have to go thru ACT-D! But it doesn't hurt to see the oncologist to test and make sure things are healing well and nothing is cancerous.

Nicole... I sure hope that there's a surprise in there for you reguardless of everything going on. I know it's hard, not exactly how hard... it's not easy not being in control of everything the way we would like to be and sometimes we have to go with the flow of life to where it takes us. Winds of change can be good hang in there and we'll definitely be here for you as much as you want us to be!

Marti... hope AF shows soon so you can be on CD1 then go for the gusto!

AFM...on day 29 of bleeding/spotting/bleeding/spotting/ you get the pattern... that's not counting the spotting before my loss started. Fun stuff! I'm using the CBE fertility monitor and so far it's been "low fertility" which I pretty much knew since FRER's showed a + the other day (wednesday) Just hanging in there and don't really know where I'm on the fence with everything. So definitely NTNP in any event... since the RE is going to back booked until June I might try to go see this other lady in the mean time that tends to treat reproductive problems and then go from there. Perhaps she can help me and I don't have to wait until June for testing... I don't want to risk losing another baby in the mean time just because these people are so booked up!

[Jmcrican137]

Af showed today. I cried for a bit, but now I'm ok. I meet with a specialist next month so we'll c what happens. Just trying to keep the faith that one day soon, i'll get that bfp!

[Celena]

I'm sorry Af showed it's sort of bitter sweet. Now there's a new cycle and hopefully with going to the specialist you can get some help!

Which specialist are you going to if you don't mind me asking?

[ohnicole]

Lisa- I'm so sorry you have to go through everything that you do- and that on top of it all you have to wait for what I'm sure feels like FOREVER to get a definitive answer on what is going on. I really hope that your test results show that your hcg has really dropped a lot and that none of your other appointments give any reason to worry about needing further treatments. You must be feeling so overwhelmed with everything right now. We are all here if you need to vent about anything. Hugs.

Marti- I hope that AF shows soon for you so you can get out of this group and move on to active TTC!

Celena- It really sucks that you have to deal with bleeding/spotting for so long. I can't remember from other posts if you got your latest beta results back... I hope that your levels go to negative soon, you get a true AF, so you can really move on to full TTC. I also hope you can get into a cancellation spot for your RE. Seeing someone else in the meantime might be a good idea. That way you can cover your bases.

Jmcrican137- I'm sorry AF showed for you- it is hard to see her sometimes. I hope your appointment with the specialist goes well.

AFM- I am really debating whether we should start preventing instead of NTNP. I am feeling more and more like my family is not going to be able to care for my sister without my help, and like I might need to be available for that for longer than I thought- like maybe for this whole year. And if that's true, me being pregnant would not make for a good caregiver.

But then not only does that mean putting TTC on hold, but being away from DH and my dogs for a whole year. So I am going back and forth between stopping TTC altogether and continuing to NTNP. I guess if I did get pg, I could get a job, and then send the money to my family to hire someone to help with my sister. But then I was wanting to be a SAHM for at least a while, so that would kind of throw that out the window. Ughhhh, I just don't know anymore.

[Celena]

Nicole I think sometimes the best answers to our questions are not always the most obvious and then sometimes they're more simple than we think... everything will fall into place as it should and hopefully things progress quickly with your sister's healing & PT. I'm thinking about you and praying for your sister's recovery!



.

[Celena]

bump this thread up...

[ohnicole]

Thanks for your thoughts, Celena. It is hard to just let go sometimes and really believe that there is no right or wrong decision- that everything will just work out, regardless. Sigh. Soooo not the way I normally work

On a not so blue note, since most of us in this thread seem to be dealing with some frustrating situations right now, I've been trying to look on the bright side of being on hold. What do you guys like about not actively TTC?

AFM, this morning I realized that I am on CD12 and I have not even THOUGHT about what day to start using OPKs. Such a change, and really nice.

[LisaG825]

Talked to the nurse today and they don't want to do another injection b/c she said I should have had a bigger drop than what I did so they aren't really sure what is going on. I will still go to their lab to get my blood drawn on Monday though. I just wonder how big of a drop I will have since I am not getting an injection this week. My last bw was 10 days apart too so she said it really should have been a lot more of a drop. Got my eye surgery done. It was weird. I thought I was going to have a panic attack right there on the table but finally they finished. I go back tomorrow so the dr. can take a suture out and remove the patch off my eye. That will be interesting. Hope everyone is doing good!!!

[Celena]

Nicole.... yes, I think along the lines you do probably... logical, realistic, planner. However, my truest nature is free-spirited, free-willed, abstract thinker which is where I gather my wisdoms from LOL!

What I like about being on a ttc hold... no stress, no 2WW to test, no 2WW to ovulate, no nothing at the moment LOL! Sex just happens and even tho I'm sort of tracking my fertility with the CBE fertility monitor I'm not really tracking it if you will. I keep forgetting to temp, but it's no biggie just wanted to try to get back into the habit of doing it each morning so when we do get back to ttc I won't forget... it'll just be habit

Lisa... I'm glad to hear they didn't opt to do another injection, but ARE going to take your bloodwork on monday. Really truly hope there's a miracle and it's super close to zero!!! So the week after next will be the oncologist appt, will they do blood work there as well to check your beta's? I know they'll probably do cbc...

Also glad to hear the eye surgery went well and you'll be going back to have the stitch out and a check tomorrow. How are you feeling? Any pain? Hope you're happy with the results... was it as bad as you anticipated or better? What a relief to have that over finally

AFM.... My last beta is down to 35 finally, so we're getting there. Wondering how long it will take for that to be zero, but again I'm still spotting and lightly bleeding. I'd think it would be soon.

I managed to get into a new RE's office and won't have to wait as long with the other one. My friend told me about her GYN and said she's also a high risk OB & works with fertility stuff... so I called and asked if she was an RE (I cheated and looked on her website first LOL) so I knew she was. They also take my ins. so I don't have to worry about that either, the other place I think from the way the letter I recieved was worded that they didn't. So I'm sticking with this *new* doctor and am really ready to know what the heck is going on already! Not to mention the "what if's" of getting pregnant between now and June, well I can't get pg before next monday LOL! Right?! LOL!!

[ohnicole]

Lisa- I'm sorry that there are no clear answers for you yet on what is going on with your hcg levels. I really have my fingers crossed that the oncologist won't find anything wrong- just a beta that is dropping frustratingly slow. I'm sure you're going crazy with worrying about it. Hugs. Good luck with your visit to the eye doctor tomorrow. Did you end up having to reschedule your visit with the Genetic Counselor?

Celena- Yay for being able to get such a quick appointment with a RE! That is no easy feat Fingers crossed that your betas are negative soon and that you are on your way to your next BFP. Good luck at your appointment next week!

AFM- Suddenly I am overwhelmed in fundraising. It's like I have a new career I am working on a benefit for my sister. I wrote fundraising letters, made flyers, designed tickets, and wrote all the copy for a website. Phew.

Then as soon as the website had one piece of information up on it, it was like a tornado. All my sister's friends got wind of it, they started chatting about it on Facebook, and people are already posting comments and wondering how to make donations. It's great!

I am kind of shell shocked, though. It's crazy how fast stuff happens on the internet. We had a meeting with the guy who was setting up the site, and by the time I had driven home, there were already messages and comments posted. Amazing!

[LisaG825]

Will try and post more tomorrow ladies. Eye is actually kind of sore. I didn't think it would be but it is. I had a cyst removed last June and it wasn't this painful. I am sure it will feel better when the Dr. takes the stitch out tomorrow. I will still have stitches across my eyelid but at least will be able to open my eye.

I added this to another thread that I started but DH is temporarily getting laid off so frustrated about that.

About the genetics counselor, I called and left a message yesterday. I don't think they called back today so I will call them again tomorrow.

Anyways, it is kind of hard typing with this patch over my eye so I am going to go rest for a bit. Talk to you ladies tomorrow. Hope you are all doing well!!!

[ohnicole]

I hope your eye is feeling better today, Lisa! And that you were able to get in touch with the Genetic Counselor and figure out a plan for your appointment.

Fingers crossed for your DH's employment situation to get resolved soon!

AFM- Today I am in kind of a weird mood. I almost started crying a few times at things that I normally wouldn't cry at, and in front of people I normally wouldn't cry in front of. I'm not really sure why. Probably just getting stressed and overwhelmed I guess. Hoping for a more normal tomorrow.

[Celena]

I'm going to catch up with y'all a few moments when things settle down here...

I typed this up as a main board post, but thought it would be more appropriate over here... so before I lost it due to inactivity on the JM site, I c/p it to post here. I'll catch up in an hour or so with you lovelies!!!


C/P=
It seems like since I've gotten those methotrexate shots I've been sick non-stop since! Chest cold, stomach bug, strep throat, ear infection & now another cold sinus thing Weather has been pretty wonky and everyone is carrying some sort of bug at work it seems.

(Methotrexate is a chemo drug, folicimide and it lowers your immune system...) it's not normal for me to be so sick so often. This is the most in years, hope it gets it all out of my system now for the rest of 2010 (wishful thinking right ) Hey a girl can hope right?

Then a lovely funness of still spotting... I know allot of ladies have had this with ectopic's & their losses so I'm not totally concerned that I'm spotting still. Wouldn't doubt I'd get AF before I'm done with it since the beta hCG was 35 the last draw last week. Maybe that's a good thing with my RE appt on monday, she can maybe do some of those CD3 blood work as well then if I do get AF soon?

Either way, things could be way worse... just glad there is an end in sight to all of this finally.

[Natalie_Snow]

I am gonna join you ladies! Today is the first day of my m/c... so i am pretty sure i've got to wait at least 50 days before TTCing...

[LisaG825]

Celena- How many of the methotrexate injections have they given you? How much do they usually give you at a time?

Natalie- I am so sorry that you have to come back to the ttcal board. I hope that you can get some answers and that your next BFP will be a sticky one!