[Natalie_Snow]

I am loosing my second baby right now..I was just at 5 weeks this time. I hate that! I do not know why this is happening again. Last time I had a m/c I went to the ER and they done pathology testing. They did not find anything abnormal. My OBGYN said we could start TTCing after one normal period then (that time I had m/c at 7w3d).

I am leaving to visit my parents soon (in May or June). I have two choices:

1. To start TTCAL like crazy so that I'd get PG before I leave to visit my parents..I'll have only one cycle to shoot for it .I was 5 weeks pregnant this time. Wouldn't that be dangerous as it's too soon after loss?

2. My American insurance is really super crappy and will not cover any testing whatsoever. Back in my country I have a good insurance. I can ask for an extensive testing of my entire body to try to figure out why my m/c are happening. But who said the problem's in me, maybe it's DH. It would be great to have everything done to me before getting PG.. but that could mean postponing TTC for at least half a year, possibly 2 years .

What do you think? Help? advice?? Should I do #1 or #2??

I do not know if I can wait that long before TTCing again. On the other hand I cannot stand having a third m/c.

P.S> I missed you all a lot and I am sad/glad to be back

[Kary♥RN]

Natile.... This is a tough and personal choice......

1st... can you wait a year or two? I knew I couldn't... I didn't have age on my side. I as you know have had three losses... I only had testing done on one of those losses.... that baby had trisomny 22. As for the other two losses... my Dr has told me it could of been so many things... Bad egg/ bad sperm/ bad combo of both. It could of been my MTHFR Mutation.... We will never know... The numbers are scary how many ladies who have multiple losses.. NEVER find out the reason. You could wait and out off ttc... and everything come back normal. It is a crap shoot! No matter what you have to be ok with the choice you make. What does your DH think you both should do??

[KAB]

I don't have advice for you. I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your loss and that you're going through this again. I hope you can get some answers.

[Natalie_Snow]

thank you!

I do not know what to do. I wish I could ask my parents for advice but they'd be freaking out if I told them I was pregnant twice and lost both. My DH says it's up to me to make a decision since he's not sure if I could stand another loss.

I think I'll buy plane tickets for June, that way I'd have at least one normal period and 1 cycle to try my luck the third time .

[mafiamom]

i think if you dont try again it will eat at you. how long will you be gone? i am assuming you can also try when you come back?

sorry about the insurance thing. that just sux royally

huge hugs. i am so sorry you are having to deal with these difficult decisions on top of what you are already having to go thru~

[KDD]

Natalie, can you get the testing started before you leave? You still have some time before you go.

I'm so sorry that you're having another loss.

[EVY&EGYsMommy]

I am so very sorry for your loss! I personally would probably jump back in to TTC but the thing is everyone is different, and circumstances are different. Age, how many children you ultimately want, how you are feeling emotionally...they all play a role in making this decision...

(((HUGS))) to you!!

Katie

[dreamer10]

My doc did some testing on me before I had even completed my miscarriage. He did a bunch of bloodwork and it was back before the week was out. I suggest that you request some basic bloodwork that can be done now before you would even ovulate again...and I would also suggest you do what feels right to you. I know I won't be waiting again to ttc because I just don't think I have the will power....good luck!

[Natalie_Snow]

thank you ladies! I do not know what I'd have done without you all! My DH prefers to move on fast, he is already smiling and trying to make me laugh. My grief takes much longer than that.

I do not know how long I am going to be gone. DH says I should go for as long as I want (most likely 3 or 4 months)... I do not know if we'll be able to TTC after I come back since DH is in a long process of Military Officer school and he'll be gone to places where the family is not allowed..he'll be gone for up to a year.

My insurance won't cover any testing here, I'd have to pay cash for everything. During my last m/c I wanted testing and I ended up getting bills for $3,000 (that's like two plane tickets... yes, I measure things in cost of plane tickets ).... and they did not even find anything wrong with me!

[Celena]

Natalie I'm very very sorry you're losing this little one right now! It just doesn't seem fair at times to go thru this once let alone twice in your case. Honey, big 'ol hugs to you!

As far as my advice to you on your choices... I would try to be as open minded as you can be on your choices. Don't limit yourself to just those two. So much can happen... jumping back into it RIGHT away isn't entirely good for your body being pg then a loss, one month off (not pg) and then pregnant again a month later is like your body on a yo-yo. Although you are young and will bounce back quicker than some it's worth giving yourself at least a cycle to heal some. Don't get me wrong I'm an advocate to move forward, but make sure to take care of you because if you're not 110% then how will you be for a new life?

Something else... if you've already had testing done and came back normal that wasn't that long ago either. Perhaps it's DH's turn to get a SA, I know the RE I'm about to go to it's only $125- out of pocket expense no ins coverage. So it's something to consider, which is faultering from your 2 plans but it might be worth checking into. Who knows he may check out fine, normal as well and that will be a little moe peace of mind.

That's why I was suggesting to be very open minded on your options... there are so many things that can happen between now and "then." You're right tho about one thing, there might NOT be a problem with you and there may not be a problem with DH. It could very well be chromosomal abnormality as is the case with most miscarriages, or not implanted right which is another problem that causes miscarriages. In any event, I hope that this NEVER happens to you again Natalie... I'm very very sorry.

Hope that this helps you somewhat in you decision process... it's a tough choice, but don't forget to take care of you you're going to be the one carrying a little one in the future!!!

Many many to you in this tough time!!!!

[Isabelle]

Hugs. It's such a personal decision on what to do. But follow your gut. If this were me I'd be TTC immediately, but that's me.
Whatever you decide to do will be best.

So sorry you are having to go thru this. Massive hugs.

xxx

[ohnicole]

I'm so sorry that you have to experience 2 losses. Hugs.

As far as the decision goes, I tend to choose all the options if I have the chance. I would probably TTC this cycle, then if I got and stayed pg, great. If I didn't, I'd probably get the testing done on the trip.

It's a hard decision, though, and you should just go with your gut. If you're not ready, then don't TTC. If you can't wait, then TTC. Sometimes overthinking it just makes it harder. (That never stops me from overthinking it, though)

[Natalie_Snow]

Thank you everybody! Your opinions and advice are really helping me!

Celena, thank you! and that is a great idea indeed. i thought it would cost a fortune out of pocket! I'll check into that . I feel that my losses are making me more flexible. I try not to plan much (I am a planning addict!) so that I could be more flexible.

I would be scared to harm another baby... so I will definitely not TTC this cycle...well maybe NTNP. I will wait for the next one (oh how much I hate waiting! lol) I am gonna buy a better BBT thermometer and enjoy the process.

In short, I'll try to do both #1 & #2! I just really really hope to never have another miscarriage. My MIL suggests that I forget about TTCing at all and just focus on my career. I wish I could do that but I can't! I want a baby.. I've been wanting and waiting for too long. I can't wait anymore. So, yeah, I am back with you all on a TTCing journey