[SkyBaby]

We're hurting right now. It's me and my minimum wage cashier gig at Kmart that's keeping us from over-drafting our bank account at the end of every pay cycle (month). My husband is a state LVN for a prison nearby. These furlough days are hurting us. DH essentially must work 3 days a month and not get paid for those three days. We're not even getting IOUs. We're a good chunk of change short every month because of it. Babies are expensive. I think, even without the furloughs, we'd still be pretty strapped every month when we have a baby. I explained all of this and DH said "Don't you believe I can provide for you? I need your support." I can't offer him ideas without getting shot down and guilt-tripped for "thinking he can't provide for me". This whole subject of school has been taboo. He tried to go back and get it, and even had the books for the distance learning program and never did anything with it. When we have a kid and this has become obvious to him, he wont have any time to study. Right now, I have a hard time trying to pull him away from that xbox to even make a baby. :/

What should I say to him to motivate him?

[ohnicole]

Oh that is a tough one... talking about money is always tricky.

When I have tough conversations to get into with DH, I pull out my trick of saying, "I want to tell you about some concerns I have, let you think about them for a few days, and then talk again to get your take." My DH usually responds well to that, and comes back for the second conversation without being defensive, and having actually thought about what I said.

Have you tried getting really factual with him, and actually calculating out a budget, and showing him that it's not his job, but the furlough days, that are making things so tight, and that you know he can provide for you, but his current job boxing him in and making that impossible? It's so delicate- ugh.

Also, the Xbox. I hate it!

Except for when I use it to watch Netflix

Good luck!

[DukesMommy12]

I would say, if he doesnt want to. You can do it. My hubby and I are in a similar situation. (money-wise)

He doesnt know what he wants to do, I know I want to be a nurse. Hes supporting me and helping me go to school. (and possibly have a baby if this cycle works out.)

So if you think youll need more money go back to school for something you want to do. Maybe he'll get the message and join in.

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by cricket909

Oh that is a tough one... talking about money is always tricky.

When I have tough conversations to get into with DH, I pull out my trick of saying, "I want to tell you about some concerns I have, let you think about them for a few days, and then talk again to get your take." My DH usually responds well to that, and comes back for the second conversation without being defensive, and having actually thought about what I said.

Have you tried getting really factual with him, and actually calculating out a budget, and showing him that it's not his job, but the furlough days, that are making things so tight, and that you know he can provide for you, but his current job boxing him in and making that impossible? It's so delicate- ugh.

Also, the Xbox. I hate it!

Except for when I use it to watch Netflix

Good luck!

That's a good idea. I'll try that. It's just hard to get him motivated to do something that pulls him away from his video games. I want to sell that stupid thing, but I wont because I know he needs some stress relief. He's worried about money and his job too.

It's so hard to talk about this without him immediately being defensive. I'll try your tricks.

Originally Posted by snicole90

I would say, if he doesnt want to. You can do it. My hubby and I are in a similar situation. (money-wise)

He doesnt know what he wants to do, I know I want to be a nurse. Hes supporting me and helping me go to school. (and possibly have a baby if this cycle works out.)

So if you think youll need more money go back to school for something you want to do. Maybe he'll get the message and join in.

I want to go to school to become a professional photographer. There's a photography program at a community college about 45 minutes away. I don't want to try to work and go to school at the same time. That kind of program is demanding. My job is working me almost full time right now. I'm a kmart cashier. I simply don't have the time. I can't quit my job and still afford school. If I take a bunch of loans now, it'll be that much longer before I'm actually making a profit from my photography. The reality is, photography wont make a lot of money, it's mostly just something I love doing. I can make more than minimum wage with it though. I know that for sure. I can't go to school and raise a baby. I can't even really work and raise a baby. I know as soon as I'm pregnant, I'm leaving Kmart no matter what. It's really stressful there. I want to do to what I can do to ensure I wont have another miscarriage. It's a vicious circle.