[LisaG825]

The last few days have been really hard on me. I know about 10 ppl or so that have had a baby/babies since Dec. and I know at least 10-15 more that are pg. Most of them are due around June-July and the rest just found out so Oct/Nov. The ones that have had their babies: I don't even know if they realize how truly lucky they are to have their baby/babies. I beat myself up about these things all the time. I have only gone to visit my sister twice and her little girl (Amiah) is almost 1 month. I haven't even talked to her on the phone. To be honest I don't want to hear happy stories. It was so hard for me to look at Amiah. I didn't really want to hold her. I know I should go see them but I just can't bring myself to it.

Also, everyone that I know that is due around June and July are all starting to talk about baby showers and they are getting their pg. belly pictures, etc. They are decorating the nurseries.

I feel like I hurt so bad that I can even really for happy for them anymore. All I here from some of them is that they are ready to have their baby and don't want to be pg anymore. I posted this the other day I think about my friend drinking and stuff while pg. I don't even think I can talk to her. She said she had 2 m/c so why in the heck would she drink with this baby?


Sorry ladies, I just had to type this at least to get it off my chest.

[mafiamom]

huge huge hugs. it really is so hard to see other women experiencing all that we would/should be going thru as well.

i think it is totally understandable. maybe, for awhile anyway, you could just send a card to your sister, dash off an email. let her know you are thinking of her without actual give and take. then she wont feel neglected and you wont be putting yourself in a sad situation.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry, Lisa. Your situation is so hard- it's understandable that you are having a hard time feeling 100% happy for people who get what you wanted so badly and lost. I think you have to let yourself feel however you need to. You will get back to feeling more like yourself with time.

I agree with Colleen, it may be worthwhile to have a quick talk (or send a quick note) to your sister to let her know that you are happy for her and wish you could be more involved but that you are just struggling with your own issues right now.

All I here from some of them is that they are ready to have their baby and don't want to be pg anymore.

I totally get how you feel. My best friend was 40w pg when I had my loss and even though she knew about my loss and felt bad for me, she still did a lot of complaining about how sick she was of being pg. She would say, "Aren't I EVER going to get to hold this baby?!" And that one really stung.

But I knew she really felt bad for me. It's just that people really get caught up in their own stuff and don't always think before they speak. It's okay to be annoyed and frustrated. It will get better with time.

Hugs.

[martilynne]

I sorry. It is bad enough we have to deal with the pain of loosing a baby but then we have to deal seeing other people pregnant and then deal with the guilt of not being happy for them. It feels like a never ending cycle of grief that won't be cured until we have a living healthy baby in our arms.