[ldovey83]

I never bother talking about my feelings with friends or my DH... No one seems to understand what I am going through.. I finally held the baby.. I kind of got pushed into it by her sister in law.. She just kind of threw the baby at me.. AT first I enjoyed it but afterwards I felt the heart break of knowing I should be holding my little baby this week sometime.. It has been a rough day on me emotionally with seeing the baby and AF showing... I am happy for her really happy for her, but my heart is breaking too.. DH asked what was going on and I told him and he said I need to stop being sad over it and my friend said I need to stop letting it control my life.. Why do I bother talking to anyone about it cause after trying to talk about it and tell them why I am the way I am I always feel worse then I did before I talked to them... Please tell me that I am not alone on how I feel.. Should I just move on with my life??

[Natalie_Snow]

I feel the same way you do.. i do not share my feelings with friends about m/c & babies anymore. They do not understand me and tell me to move on. I know how much it hurts thinking that you could have been holding your own baby... {HUGS}

[SkyBaby]

You have every right to be sad and upset. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[Isabelle]

Tons of hugs to you.
You are allowed to feel however you choose.
xxx

[KDD]

Unless they've had a loss they don't get it. Don't let them tell you to "get over it". You need to take time to grieve your loss.

[ldovey83]

Thanks ladies.. I am trying so hard not to cry right now.. I keep telling myself I am being silly, but they made it worse, and now I am super upset.. Sorry I just needed someone to talk too.

[j&jmom]

You are definitely not alone. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel because everyone goes through things differently, even among those of us who have had a m/c.

[martilynne]

I'm sorry you are not being silly, you're allowed to be sad right now

[ohnicole]

Hugs. Don't let them tell you how to grieve your loss. It isn't something to just be shrugged off and forgotten. It changes us all, and you should be allowed to admit that. I'm so sorry they have made it harder on you.

[LisaG825]

That is exactly how I feel. I always feel worse.

My dad was telling me my family is having Easter at my stepmoms side of the family. I told him I wasn't going. My stepsister just had a baby almost a month ago. I felt horrible at the hospital. I sat in the waiting area while about 20 ppl waiting at the glass to see the babies and her baby b/c the nurse said they were bringing her out to the window. They didn't thank God b/c I couldn't have handled all of them talking about her. It was hard enough when my sisters husband came out to share the news. I think my dad noticed that it was hard on me. He didn't say anything but I think he could tell. I told him I can't go on Easter b/c I can't be around a bunch of ppl and the baby. I told him it was too hard on me at the hospital and I am not ready. He just said ok. I am surprised he didn't try to talk me out of it. Seems like everyone else just tells me to get over it. So I know exactly what you are saying.

I have a feeling if my family knew half the stuff that you ladies do than they would have me committed or something because they already tell me to get over it or move on and I haven't told them near as much.

As far as moving on with your life, I don't know about you but I find it very difficult. The only thing I can do is take it a day at a time and sometimes I can't even do that so it ends up being an hour at a time. I am so sorry that it was hard on you. If you want to talk I am here as are all of the other ladies!

[EJsMommy]

{{Hugs}} You can greive your way and not let anyone that tells you to move on already get to you. That is easier said that done I know. As Lisa said take it on your own pace.

[mmllhh]

Thank goodness for this board huh. You have us to vent to. and no one here is going to tell you to get over it.

[markswife]

You are definitely not alone in how you feel. Sometimes people don't know what to say and end up saying something that doesn't help. You have every right to be sad about your losses and what should have been. I think about what should have been all the time and somedays handle those feelings better than others. When you have bad days, we are all here for you and no one here would ever dream of telling you to just get over it. Big hugs to you!! Don't give up. You'll get that BFP, I just know it!!

[mommie2many]

(((hugs)))

[ldovey83]

Thanks ladies.. You all are the best.. I am so glad and thankful that I have you wonderful caring ladies to talk and vent too.. I am shocked cause I talked to my mom about it today and she said she knew it was hard, but I just need to trust that God did it for a reason, and there has to be a reason he is not allowing me to be pregnant.. I said true but what breaks my heart is my son looked at the baby yesterday and told me he wanted a baby.. Then when he was asked if he wanted a little girl or boy he said both, but he wanted one.. I said I know bubba mommy is trying.. I know he will be a great brother..

it was YOUR BABY, don't let other people dictate how you should feel, and about your dh's comment, after i lost Charlie my dh would say things like he was never born, or never alive. men dont understnad, "being a mother starts at conception while being a dad starts at the babys birth" he doesnt get it ( your dh and mine) and chances are hes just trying to deal with it in his own way. hugs! you have us here for you anytime you need it!

[aitch]

Oh Hun. I'm not sure there's ever a right answer.

All I do know is that it broke my heart when I was playing with a friends one year old recently. That was the first time I'd been around a LO since our loss. For the first time ever, I can understand (though of course would never do it) what drives women to steal babies. It sounds terrible but all I could think is that I could have offered that little girl a better life..... her parents are wonderful but for a split second I thought it and that's scary. My DH didn't understand why I was sad either and said I should have just avoided the situation.

I think everything we're feeling is allowed and OK. It's just knowing how to temper it with being rational.

It's just all so hard when you so want to prove to everyone that you're fine.

[JessP]

It stinks when people don't understand that we don't just put on a different pair of pants and go on. A very important person is not missing from our lives and a piece of our heart as well. Don't let others tell you how to feel. I agree with some of the other comments thank goodness for JM because I would be lost without them.

[brandimomof2]

So sorry they said those things to you. Its rough and no one really gets it or knows how you feel until they go through it. Sometimes men dont fully get it. My dh happens to be one of those that does get it and is very sensitive to things like this but not all are.
Its very hard to hold a baby or be around babies when you have had a loss. I still have not held a baby since my loss. I have seen them though and its hard. You are not alone in how you feel. Its only normal and you cant just get over it.

[Servilia]

I'm sorry that people are not more sensitive. I know my family would kind of react the same, but probably because they don't want me to be sad.. they don't know what to say. I am sorry