Feeling a Little Emotional. Have u ever???

RoadToDallas · #1 March 29th, 2010, 01:09 PM

Wanted to change ur mind about TTC? Like because of something someone said or made u feel like maybe its not the right time for you to have a child. And it hurts the most when some of the things they say make sense but you just want your pride of joy SOO bad :/

Natalie_Snow · #2 March 29th, 2010, 01:14 PM

yeah, i actually wanted to TTC right after this loss. But all of my good friends told me i was crazy to try again so soon. they told me to wait at least 6 months... My MIL also told me that we should wait for another year or two.. well, i cannot wait that long! I am going to postpone TTC until July & we're going to be NTNP while waiting..

markswife · #3 March 29th, 2010, 04:30 PM

Oh Fania, I'm so sorry you have to go through this and it is really unfair when the people that are supposed to be supporting you are making you feel worse. Don't let anyone tell you how you are supposed to feel either about your loss or about when it is the right time for you to TTC again. Only you know the answers to those questions. There is no right or wrong way to feel about your loss. Whatever feeling you have is the right one for that moment and it will change as time goes on. Hang in there and know that we are always here to support you no matter how you are feeling and what you decide. Big hugs to you!

RoadToDallas · #4 March 29th, 2010, 05:24 PM

Aww thanks Annette.. Thank you. and my boyfriend actually waants this baby and you know to be there and for us to work together and raise our family. Sometimes i feel like he is all i really need in the long run and now that hes on board no one else really is :/

zkat · #5 March 29th, 2010, 05:36 PM

Fania,

1st off - Welcome. I am so sorry you have to be here, but glad you found the best group on JM!

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Unless they are helping you with $$ or raising your children for you, they don't get a say. The only people who really get an opinion are the two parents involved.

The sad part - usually the most hurtful, inconsiderate comments come from family members.

Isabelle · #6 March 29th, 2010, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zkat

Fania,

1st off - Welcome. I am so sorry you have to be here, but glad you found the best group on JM!

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Unless they are helping you with $$ or raising your children for you, they don't get a say. The only people who really get an opinion are the two parents involved.

The sad part - usually the most hurtful, inconsiderate comments come from family members.

Ditto to this. Very well said.

RoadToDallas · #7 March 30th, 2010, 08:23 AM

Aww thank you, that made me feel soo much better. just a thought tho. if im not pregnant this cycle i wont have the baby till 2011 lol ahhh imma be knocked up for new years . I think a baby would be a GREAT way to start the year. && I want to kiss my baby when the ball drops! [ lol ] guess ill just rub my belly extra tight.

missy123 · #8 March 30th, 2010, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zkat

Fania,

1st off - Welcome. I am so sorry you have to be here, but glad you found the best group on JM!

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Unless they are helping you with $$ or raising your children for you, they don't get a say. The only people who really get an opinion are the two parents involved.

The sad part - usually the most hurtful, inconsiderate comments come from family members.

Well said Kat!
Fania, To lose a child is the worst kind of heart wretching pain and you have to allow yourself time to heal and be easy on you! If you want to TTC again and your doctor says you are physically ok then there is no need for you to wait. If I had waited like everyone told me I wouldn't have the 3 awesome boys I do now, lol... As a matter of fact they are all telling me that I am too old now. I just don't listen, it is my life.

It seems like friends and family can't help giving unwanted advice.

Welccome to the group.

j&jmom · #9 March 30th, 2010, 07:19 PM

Ditto previous comments.
I hate getting really bad comments from people. I want to believe that most people are trying to be sincere and not intentionally saying dumb things, but it happens. Either way you have to take any comments lightly and consider only the people that really matter . . . you and your SO!

ldovey83 · #10 March 30th, 2010, 07:34 PM

I have totally had these moments, and as a matter of fact my mom said something along the same lines the other day. I was upset about AF showing and my neighbor having her baby, and my mom said that maybe it isn't happening for a reason..Maybe there is something you don't know.. Sometimes the hardest comments come from best friends and family.. Alot of the time it is because they don't know what to say so they say all the wrong things.. I am sorry you are going through this, but you have come to the right place. This is a great group of ladies.. Welcome..

Celena · #11 March 30th, 2010, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fanias08

Wanted to change ur mind about TTC? Like because of something someone said or made u feel like maybe its not the right time for you to have a child. And it hurts the most when some of the things they say make sense but you just want your pride of joy SOO bad :/

You know what I've come to realize... that people are so hurtful especially when they don't understand what you're going thru because they've never been thru it, altho they *think* they have the best intentions in mind they are just support-challenged. That's when it's time for people to just shut-up about what they think and say I'm so sorry, or something that would be really helpful like a shoulder to cry on instead of their "opinionated concern."

However, that's when being in a place like this... Trying to Conceive After Loss forum with ALL OF THESE MOST WONDERFUL LADIES (and friends, also friends that have graduated from ttcal) This has been the BEST place of support, reassurance, compassion, and so much more than I could ever express. These ladies are my ROCKS! I hope that you are NOT discouraged from your TTCAL path... it's a journey, not an easy one by any means... but we're here and we'll support you.

To answer your question... have I felt discouraged from TTCAL at all or turned off by it by someone has said? NO, but I have been turned off by it from the shear emotional trauma of going thru more losses. I have wanted to throw in the towel on that.

.:Shortcake:. · #12 March 31st, 2010, 04:50 AM

I'm someone who speaks my mind so when someone has said something rude to me about TTC they get a smart*ss comment back at them. I put them in their place very quickly!