[brandimomof2]

maybe your just not suppose to have a child or another child? I often wonder why its so hard this time. I think maybe we are just not suppose to have another child. Maybe God doesnt want us to have another child. Then I think no, he is about giving us the desires of our hearts. Children and family was his idea. I just feel its taking so long and wonder if maybe we should just accept the fact that we have 2 children already and be done with it. Its been a 2yr journey for this 3rd one, although there was a pregnancy and loss during this time. This mth will make 1yr since I found out I was pregnant with the baby I lost. My baby would be 3mths old right now. Its so hard to think that. I just dont understand why my body has all the sudden started freaking out and my cycles are so weird now. Is it that we are just not suppose to?

Sometimes I have bad thoughts like maybe God is protecting me, maybe something bad would happen to me if I were to become pg again. I know thats crazy but I so dont understand what is going on.
Do you ever have thoughts like this?

[markswife]

I always wonder why bad things happen to good people. I work with women who abuse drugs, who have serious untreated mental health issues, who are in domestically violent relationships, who allow their boyfriends to physically and sexually abuse their children and I see them having 5 or 6 or 7 healthy babies. It's like they look at a man and they are pregnant and have another baby.

And then there are all of us, the women of TTCAL. We are all wonderful women who will make amazing mothers. We don't do drugs. We take care of our bodies. We try and try and try to have a healthy baby and something keeps going wrong. It's completely unfair.

I wonder all the time what if my m/c was my only shot and I never get pregnant again? What if I do get pg and lose that baby too? There are a million what ifs. I don't think there is an answer.

Anniversaries are very hard. I'm so sorry that you are approaching one. Big hugs to you and I hope you get that BFP soon!

[..Michelle..]

I do Brandi. It's weird, I just posted something similar in TTC 6+ months. My son would be turning 2 in just 4 short months. We have been TTC our Earth baby for 1 year and 4 months now.

Sometimes I wonder if I was only given one chance to have a baby and some how I messed it up, and that I'll never get PG again.....

This journey is taking a lot out of me. My step sister is 5 years younger than me and she is currently PG with #5! I'm happy for her but extremely jealous at the same time. AND she's never had a loss which makes it harder.

I wish you a speedy BFP and along the way.
's ,
Michelle T.

[JesSsica]

Yes, I've wondered that. Especially because my dh and I are so on the fence about wanting one anyway. My pregnancy with my dh was a total and complete surprise. We were devastated when we went in for a happy moment, my 12 week u/s for him to see his first little baby, only to have that day turn into one of the worst of my life.

He's absolutely 50/50 about wanting a child. I on the other hand am gung-ho somedays about being pregnant again and then in the middle of the night when my mind gets going I talk myself out of it and convince myself it's not the right thing to do right now.

We'll really never know I guess.

[Isabelle]

Yes.

[brandimomof2]

I am glad I am not alone.

[j&jmom]

I've wondered that often. I've had other medical issues and sometimes I think the only reason God helped me get pg was so I would go to the dr. and find this other issue and since I haven't had all of my testing completed, I think that maybe the reason I m/c is that all the tests are going to tell me bad news. I don't know if that makes sense without completely explaining what I am going through, but I've often wondered if it was fate for me to have a m/c and not a baby at this time because of the things that may happen in my life, and I wonder if I will ever be allowed to have another child. I love my two children, but I still have a hole in my heart.

[mommie2many]

I ask myself the same thing every time Af shows. I ask myself why is it ppl who really dont want a baby get pg without even trying, and why pl who really want a baby try forever or a m/c.

[missy123]

Brandi - Yes, everyday. I could have written what you wrote. I try not to think about how old my babies would be, it is so hard and still painful. Easter will be 1 year since we lost our little one and I am dreading it.

After almost a year of TTC I was losing hope and depressed and desperate. My DF was the one that suggested we go to an RE and get tested. He said we could stop at anytime but he knows how much I want 1 or 2 more babies. It has been less than 2 weeks with the RE. We have spent over $2500 but what we found was that my body is great, It just needs a kick start to make follies and ovulate. Worth every cent we have paid for peace of mind. If we don't end up with a baby it is going to be easier to swallow knowing I did everything I could.

Not trying to get you to go into MA with this, just sharing my own experience.

I hope you get pregnant soon

[lex1078]

I, now believe I'm not suppose to have children. With this current pregnancy things aren't going so well. If I m/c again, I'm done. I know my answer. I seriously can't do this roller coaster ride anymore. I'm just drained and I think my refills have run out. I know a girl now who is pregnant and she totally doesn't deserve to be and it kills me that she's ok and doing just fine and I'm not. It's like I just keep getting stabbed in the heart.