[sheephater321]

Hello everyone. I'm new on here so I hope I'm posting this correctly. I'm on here hoping to find some advice and informaton from others who may be familar with what I'm feeling. I had a miscarriage at 6weeks on Feb 19th and I just started my first period since the miscarriage. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since the miscarriage and I feel like people around me think I'm crazy. Overall, I'm feeling a lot better than I was immediately after the m/c, but I'm still crying from time to time and I've had a hard time concentrating on anything other then being pregnant again.

I'm working a job that I hate but I need the money. I am 26yrs old and I really have no career. I always hoped that I would be in a better place before having a family. I wanted to feel pride for myself and I wanted to feel more capable of providing for children. My husband has a college degree and a decent job, but his job is low paying and his job has not progressed as he had hoped. My husband turned 30 in january and we decided to 'throw caution to the wind' and go for it. One week later I was pregnant, but then we lost it. Now, I am conflicted to some degree about trying again. I am not doing well at my current job and feel very much like things are coming to a head in a bad way...like they may fire me or may blow up and quit. I am also feeling scared about any stress if I get pregnant again. I have an anxiety disorder on top of this. If I get fired or leave my job, I will feel like a failure, but there is also a part of my that just wants to get pregnant and focus solely on being happy and healthy in a new pregnancy(hopefully). Also, am confused as to whether it is okay to get pregant one cycle after a m/c. (?)
So basically, I feel like at 26 and 30, my husband and I should be starting our family that we want, but I'm concerned because I really am kind of lost in life careerwise. I know that once we have children there won't be much time for' fine tuning' personal goals. Once we have kids it will be all about the kids. I hope that doesnt make me sound selfish. I just want to be better, both for myself and for my future kids(god willing). But waiting for things to fall into place at this point just seems like a pipe dream. A large part of me feels like 'just going for it' again is the right thing...that we need to just Sh** or get of the pot so to speak.....
Sorry for rambling on but I'm doig so largely just for my own therapy. If anyone reads this and has any input I would appreciate it...thank you so much for hearing me out...

[Kary♥RN]

I am so sorry for your loss... HUGS.... Welcome to the board...

Sounds like you have a couple different issues going on... and thats ok.. lets take them one at a time..

First easy answer.. yes it is ok to get pregnant after a m/c.. your body won't get pregnant unless it is ready. Thier is no medical reason for a healthy woman to wait. If you have other issues.. than that is a different story.

As for your Job... Can you start looking for another job that you may be more happy doing?

At 26 and 30 I am sure you are feeling like it is time... and you are wondering if now is a good time? Well the way I look at it.. no matter what time it is you will have things happening in your life.. So why not now?? EVERYTHING ALWASY WORKS ITSELF OUT!!!

I have had three m/c's... and have been on this board for over a year.. and I can say alot of ladies after a m/c (my self included) have felt like "when it rains it pours" kinda of feelings.. like no matter what.. everything is going wrong... This will pass.. I know now it feels very overwhelming... but that is why you have us... We will help get you over those hard days...

You can also check out the Pregnancy Loss - JustMommies Message Boards on the days you are having a hard time with your loss...

HUGS...

[SkyBaby]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm 22 and stuck in the minimum wage industry. I'm a Kmart cashier. I work a job I hate as well, but like you guys, we need the extra cash too. You're not alone.

I agree with Kary, start looking for another job you'd like more.

Things will get better. You'll have a miracle some day soon. Good luck!

[sheephater321]

Thank you both very much for your kind words and input I really appreciate it and it helps knowing there are nice people out there..
This may be more than you wanted to hear about...but here's more info on my job if your curious... I started the job that I'm at now about 6 months ago. I am a secretary/office assistant through the same major company that my husband has worked at since he was 20 (10 yrs ago). I am at a different office building far away from him, but there is a lot of intermingling among workers, so a lot of people at my job know my husband and vice versa. I'm feeling very uncomfortable about this b/c of how poorly things are going at this job. I took this job because it was my only job offer in the last like 15 months and I also thought that I would excel there, but instead I'm struggling terribly with the office dynamic and the job itself. Then I got pregnant and ended up having to tell my manager about the m/c due to complications I was having and I had to miss several days of work. Since then, work feels very tense and awkward and my major concern is not causing any harm for my husband. But all I want to do is escape the situation and go back to feeling sane and happy again.
As far as another job, I have been looking but am concerned about getting another job and then telling them I'm pregnant one or two months in (b/c I do really want to get pregnant again if possible..I wish I could just calm down but since the m/c all I can think about is getting pregnant preferably like NOW..lol )
Also, sky baby...a couple of years ago I was also a cashier for a while at kmart...i did not like that job either..so I feel you there. I've had a lot of jobs and I only really liked one of them...but hopefully me and you both will find what we want...
thank you both again for the support and lending your ears..

[ldovey83]

Hi hun and welcome to the board.. You have definitely found the right place.. This group of ladies has been wonderful to me, and to alot of the other ladies on here.. It is very common to feel like life is unfair and not going right after a loss. I see nothing wrong with trying again a month after you had your loss.. I miscarried in May 09 and was pregnant again in July09 and then miscarried that one.. It dosen't mean you will lots of women have miscarried gotten pregnant close to it and the pregnancy was fine.. As for the job and career situation. It is normal for us to want what is best and want to be all set, but like Kary said you will never be ready completely.. other things in life will come up and then you are starting all over again.. It will work itself out.. Trust me... Hang in there, and good luck to you hun.

[dansyl]

I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. I know sometimes it seems like it's all a little too much to handle. I hope you are able to deal with this and get your sticky BFP soon!!!