[.:Shortcake:.]

So today at our egg hunt my sister pulls me aside... she says I just want you to know before anyone else... I'm pregnant. (she already has 3 kids and they don't want anymore). My response "Oh... I didn't think you wanted anymore." She says "we don't. and looks upset" I said well congrats... and she said yeah not really. Why!?! Its not freaking fair. They have 3 healthy kids that I love to death but they weren't trying... they didn't want anymore. Why couldn't I have gotten pregnant when I so desperately want a child of my own to love. Its not fair and no I'm not happy about it. I haven't told anyone except my husband how I am feeling. I had to leave after she told me that because I couldn't hold in the tears. DH just held me and I could tell he was feeling the same as I am. Am I wrong to feel this way?

[..Michelle..]

OH HONEY!! 's! I know EXACTLY how you feel sweetie! We must have some blood relation going on here because my sister is pregnant with #5 at 25 years of age. She has 2 sons, 2 daughters and this one is supposed to be another girl. She told me she wanted a boy so she's not that happy anymore.

WHAT?!@?!?@#?##?$ That sooo p!$$ed me off!! Here DH and I've been trying for over a year to have a healthy baby, and she's MAD because of the gender?!

You have every right in the world to feel the way you do. Because if you don't, well than I guess my thoughts and feelings are wrong too....but I don't think they are.

I was in tears reading your post, because I know they don't "mean" to hurt our feelings by what they say, it's what they don't say (such as facial response or body language) that we pick up on more. And sometimes it's disgusting.

My thoughts are with you this day and I hope you don't beat yourself up too badly for feeling like that. IT IS NORMAL!

's again,
Michelle T.


EDT to add: the reason I put her age is because I'm 31 and not getting any younger....her fertile mertile butt at 25 should just be freaking happy she can have children!!

[KAB]

I completly understand how you feel and agree that it's not fair. You do have a right to feel that way and your sister should understand. I'm so sorry.

[ldovey83]

The way you feel is not wrong at all.. I had two friends tell that got pregnant with number 2 and got pregnant so easily and they didn't want it.. One of them miscarried, and the other is due in June and all she does is complain, and i told her she should be thankful that she was able to concieve again, and have a healthy child..

so how you are feeling is not wrong.. Many hugs to you hun, and please anytime you need to vent you know we are all here...

[EJsMommy]

your feelings are your feelings and yes that would hurt me too.

[DukesMommy12]

She was being insensitive.

Its like taking to a starving man about the food you just ate. "Oh that burger was good but I wish I could of had a taco salad."

I understand how you feel

[mlyster]

You are not wrong to feel like you do. You have every right to feel hurt, mad, sad, pissed off, whatever you need to feel. It's hard to watch other people get what you want so badly. But I can tell you that if you don't feel it and let it out it will only get worse. Let out the tears, anger, and all you have. It will make you feel better. And then you will love the niece or nephew that you get NO MATTER what. My older sister actually told me this once. She told me that when I told her I was pregnant for the first time she was upset because they had been trying for over a year and had no success. But she eventually realized that she needed to get over it because if for some reason they were not able to have kids she didn't want to resent any of our kids. She told me that she would be the best Aunt to all her nieces and nephews. And so far she is living up to her word.

It is not easy because this is a tough tough journey we are all on. But you will get through this and no matter what you will be the best Aunt that child has.

[SkyBaby]

You are not wrong at all to feel this way!! She should have been more sensitive. I know it's unfair. I would feel the same way. I was just told that my cousin and his gf are pregnant and I busted out crying too and had to leave. We all understand, hun.

Absolutely nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel. I would be the same if someone said the exact same thing to me. I wish things were difference for you & everyone else who is going through what were are. Just remember we are all here for you. x

[.:Shortcake:.]

Thank you ladies. I know that I'm allowed to feel this way I just feel horrible because that is my sister and my niece/nephew. I will love that baby just as much as I do my other niece/nephews. I do not want to tell my sister how I'm feeling though.. I don't want to upset her. I will grieve in my own home with DH. I'm still very upset and hurt... but I know that she will love the baby.

[zkat]

I will be honest, I try not to let other people's pregnancy get to me because their journey is separate from mine, BUT her attitude just pisses me off and I want to yell and scream at her! Maybe somebody should so she can cherish the baby she is carrying. My sister had been through more heartache than anyone I know on TTCAL. She is very meek and normally would go to a private place and cry her eyes out, but through the years she came up with a very polite, very stabbing retort to attitudes such as your sisters.

"I know a couple that would make the best mom and dad to this baby and give him or her a really good home if you don't want her/him"

You are welcome to use it the next time the complaining begins. I am so sorry that she is an insensitive Witch about the whole thing.



Kat.

[martilynne]

You are not wrong at all for feeling that way. I will not stop feeling like that until I have a healthy living baby.