dd is a week from today not still not preggers and im not happy :( (rant)

kitkat8323 · #1 April 8th, 2010, 06:01 PM

Im really not loking forward to it i thought i was preggers but 3 test later it stil a bfn and no af. ill have to wait till Oct to go to the dr to see about getting clomid or met to help me out cause i have pcos cause no dr here will even see me till im preggers cause my job that said it had insurance failed to tell me how expensive and sucky it is so i cant even go in to see what they could do for me now so i have to wait till i get married the worst part is i work ith infants everyday and im getting to the point i cant do it anymore its too painful im sitting here taking care of other ppls children when i should be sitting here taking care of my new baby its not fair

im lost. im pretty sure im depressed and my anxiety and anger is getting WAY worse i want to stay at home all the time cause i see preggos every where i go and just want to scream im seriously considering just going in bc pills cause then my body cant play evil tricks on me and make me think im preggers im also seriously considering just saying im done and wave the white flag. but i feel like i let my df down cause i lost the baby and also feel bad cause im not preggo again and i got his hopes up last week that i was no one here understands what im going through right now all i seriously want to do is cry right now and all i keep getting from everyone around here is quit thinking about it.

SkyBaby · #2 April 8th, 2010, 06:47 PM

I know how you feel!! I've got PCOS too. I don't work with babies directly but I do work around baby stuff all day (I work in the baby/kids department at a kmart) and a couple of my friends at work are pregnant. We've only been TTC for 10 months or so now.

I would look into getting a new job or at least taking some time off. Good luck hun!!

martilynne · #3 April 8th, 2010, 07:40 PM

I'm sorry you are going through this right now.

ohnicole · #4 April 8th, 2010, 07:44 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

TTC with irregular cycle is AWFUL. It makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes. And making it to your EDD without another BFP does bring on a bout of anger and depression. It's just a rough time, and you have to do whatever you need to do to get through it without going crazy.

I hope you can find some peace and make a decision about how to move forward. Hugs.