Friends From Your Loss?

Isabelle · #1 April 16th, 2010, 01:55 PM

Has anyone noticed friendships that have formed or become stronger and better either in real life or online since you had your loss?

I have.

My relationship with my sister who had a loss almost a year to the day I did is now much stronger and better. Our losses have bonded us & we are better sisters because of it. She's my rock at the moment and gives me space when I need it and is always there for me.

I have a few friends on JM who I was already friends with 'off line' and now we're even closer due to our recent losses.

In real life I was already friends with two of the moms from Logan's preschool class, both of whom had losses (one had a loss at 27 weeks and then another at 16 weeks), since my loss we have all become much closer and share this *thing* that happened to us. It's like we can just look at each other and know we're having a crappy day and we don't need to say anything just give a hug. It's lovely to have.

Admin-Rachel · #2 April 16th, 2010, 02:53 PM

I agree. I told someone recently that I feel like I can relate to a whole bunch of members now. While before I had no clue what they were going through, I now know. It sucks to be connected through this, but at the same time, it's really nice having the connection.

MeganMomof5 · #3 April 16th, 2010, 04:47 PM

I met some great ladies on the stillbirth board that have helped me so much in the last 6 months...I'm not sure what I would of done without their support and help.

jayepink · #4 April 16th, 2010, 05:15 PM

yes, I have been blessed to form closer relationships with several women at work as a result of my losses. Each of them had at one time or another experienced loss and have now had multiple successes!

BabyAthena · #5 April 16th, 2010, 05:20 PM

Since the birth of our daughter my hubby and I have been so busy and we don't get to spend much time together but when we lost this baby, we realized that we need to make time for us again and we have. We both needed eachother and that brought us closer.

I feel that this experience has made me a better person. I can relate better to others that are going through difficult times (not just m/c). I know what to say and what not to say. Before I just didn't know what to do if somone shared something like that with me.

MeganMomof5 · #6 April 16th, 2010, 05:23 PM

I think our loss of Ella brought me and my husband closer too.

Kary♥RN · #7 April 17th, 2010, 08:45 AM

I have to say Yes to all the above! I have gotten closer to ladies in real life, at work, on JM and even my husband and I have gotten closer!!!

I have to say.. I have also grown away from some friends who did not understand my losses. So I think it did go both ways..

Natalie_Snow · #8 April 18th, 2010, 08:05 AM

I have mostly grown away from many of my friends who did not understand my feelings about losses. i cannot blame them, though. They've never had a m/c, they've never even been pregnant.

LisaG825 · #9 April 18th, 2010, 08:37 AM

Quote:

I have to say.. I have also grown away from some friends who did not understand my losses. So I think it did go both ways.

I have to agree with this. Some of my friends and family just don't understand. They think I am being negative all of the time b/c I am worried about my bw and all. I do have to say though that this has brought me closer to a few people. Some ppl at work actually know when I have to get my bw done and ask me about my numbers, etc.

DH and I aren't really closer. If anything we are more apart than we used to be. He doesn't understand. I told him my number increased last week and all he said was that stinks. He doesn't even ask me what my number is every week. So ya I give up with him.

Celena · #10 April 18th, 2010, 08:40 AM

IRL, none of my friends have ever really gone thru a loss so I cannot say that it's brought any IRL friendship relationships prior to my losses closer together.

ma2b2010 · #11 April 18th, 2010, 08:49 PM

I've grown away from one of my closest friends. This friend is male and although his wife is going through fertility treatments, he just doesn't understand why I can be a bit wacky.

However, I've grown so much closer to my husband which is the only positive that came out of my m/c.

.:Shortcake:. · #12 April 19th, 2010, 05:56 AM

Yes and no. It has brought me closer to some online and IRL but it has also pulled me away from some who seem inconsiderate iykwim.

momof6lopez · #13 April 19th, 2010, 06:06 AM

Throughout my life, I have experienced many losses, and never got closer to anyone because of it. Until I came on to JM.........I have many online friends now, and one that has blossomed so much that Im standing up in her wedding as a brides maid...........One of the best things that ever happened to me because of such a painful time in my life.

I have never lost friends because of m/c..........the ones that don't relate, we just dont share that intimacy, but still have a good friendship.