[Fallen2Love]

I thought I'd introduce myself here. Basic info - mom of an almost 4 year old, been married for 5 years this summer. Normal stuff! I've had 2 losses (5 wks, and almost 7 wks) with a healthy pregnancy inbetween. The second happened in March, so I'm 4 weeks out and still waiting on AF. DH and I are going back and forth if we really want to TTC or not. Originally, he did not want a second child. DD has been asking for a brother or sister for almost 2 years now. This is her 4 year old "life goal" right now. I have been fighting baby fever really bad. Mainly because about 80% of the people around me are expecting or just had babies. But also because our family does feel incomplete. Anyways, over the last few years DH has changed his mind and would like one more child. So, here we are. Right after the m/c DH said no way to another one until we accomplish some other goals (no purposeful TTC that is). However, this morning DH said "I'm trying to make a baby...." But really, I haven't had AF since the m/c and know we need to wait at least one cycle before TTC. I'm so confused, because one minute he says "yes" to TTC, the next he's saying "no way." I don't care either way. But I think it really hurt his feelings because DD said "I want a baby brother." I told her, "well you need to talk to your daddy about that one." Of course her reply was, "no mommy, we just need a new daddy." And she's a huge daddy's girl, and her daddy just spoils her to death, so I think it really hit a nerve because since then he's warmed up to TTC. I'm just stumped and not sure what to make of it all. Either I want to try or I don't - I don't want to keep going back and forth. Anybody elses SO do that after a loss?

[~*sierra*~]

we've never had a healthy pregnancy but i could see my dh doing the flip flopping like that, he flip flopped a lot as to whether he wanted to ttc in the first place.

sounds like ur dh has really warmed up to the idea now thats great!

and welcome!

[blessedx7]

Oh how I could have written that myself (the dh flip flop). I'm glad he is coming around. So sorry to hear about your recent miscarriage.

[lex1078]

Your DH is so me, I'm the one flip flopping. Some days I'm all ready to TTC and then the next day, I don't want children at all. Right now we're in limbo for an answer until I get some blood work done. I hope your DH comes around with a confident answer and you can start TTC again.

[Isabelle]

I just wanted to say hi and welcome so sorry for your losses.

Hugs.

[brandimomof2]

Hello, It sounds like you and dh really need to sit down and talk it out about all of this. My dh had said no way after my m/c but then ended up changing his mind so maybe your dh just needs alittle more time to become comfortable with the idea.

Best of luck to you and welcome!!!

[Fallen2Love]

Now, I'm just pissed, because he acted like he was all for TTC. Then I was talking to him throughout the rest of the week, and he kept saying "when will you be done with school..... ok thats when we can TTC." So unless we have a "oops" in the next 3-4 years! Seriously - I'm pissed. Because I don't want to wait that long. Seriously from a budget standpoint, if we wait it out through this year we'll be debt free. Which means in 2011 we can save like $600 a month and have the birth I want, the pregnancy I want, and the experience overall I want. I never fully enjoyed pregnancy with DD because of financial strain. We were even worse off then we are now financially. I know if we wait, it will be better - but I really can't stand not having another one sometime soon. And school will take at least another 3-4 years. At least if I bust my butt with classes I can get it done sooner, so I guess that is in my control. I get it I really do, it would be heck trying to manage a 4-5 year old w/ her activities (start school, hw, after school stuff) and a newborn, and university classes full time, plus our other commitments DH and I have outside of work and family. So it really is better to wait, but (in the 3 year old tantrum tone DD has) I just don't wanna wait! LOL!

[JessP]

Maybe you could just adopt a more laid back approach... When it happens it happens and leave the rest to fate or God whichever you choose. I hope things work out for you.