[avecar10]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and might technically belong more in the NTNP group, but I'm looking for some thoughts from other women who have similar experiences as mine. So here's the short version...I'm 34 years old, have two beautiful daughters ages 8 and 1 and have two little boys in heaven that were born prematurely at 26 and 21 weeks in between my two girls. My first daughter is from a previous marriage in which I experienced infertility which was quickly remedied with IUI. Had a great pregnancy and vaginal birth with no complications. Convinced that I could not get pregnant on my own, I was elated when I became pregnant unexpectedly in my second marriage with my second child...and then my third. I was finally diagnosed with incompetent cervix after losing my second son so when I became pregnant again, I had a cerclage and carried my daughter to 38 weeks without bedrest, and we just celebrated her first birthday!

So...here's where I am now and why I'm here...while my husband and I are so thankful for our healthy baby girl after our losses, we do not feel like our family is complete. But we are scared to try again for obvious reasons. With him I have conceived very easily so we have been using natural methods up until the last couple of months and now we're kinda hit and miss (no pun intended!). And actually I am late right now, though I have always been rather irregular. As my 35th bday is around the corner, we don't want to wait if we are going to try again. Part of us feels like we should be happy with the children we have and not "push our luck"--we have actually been told that in not so many words by others who are concerned about my health and also our emotional well-being if we were to lose another child. But I really feel a tug in my heart to give our little girl a sibling closer in age...

Anyone have any similar experiences/thoughts? Anyone had more than one pregnancy with cerclages? Thanks for reading...

[j&jmom]

Well I haven't had all your experiences, but I do have 2 healthy children and was trying for a third when we mc. I heard, not to my face, that people have said that I should be happy with the two I have. I didn't have all the problems you had, but I still feel like it is your choice. If you feel you can handle it, then I would say go for it!

[Celena]

I have not had cerclages, but there are many women that have had them more than once and having healthy babies more than once.

I'm really very sorry to hear about the losses of your little boys Nothing is harder than a loss and losses.

Hope that you and DH are able to conceive quickly having a healthy baby & pregnancy. You've come to the right place for support while TTCAL(es)

[avecar10]

Thanks for your responses ladies and words of encouragement. I really don't have anyone to discuss this with other than my husband--most of my friends are either done having kids and in a different phase of life and/or never had any complications, and I find it much easier to talk to women who have been there. So I am happy to give and receive thoughts and support. Best wishes to you too...

[tobi4]

Hi and welcome to ttcal. Im sorry for your losses. I dont have any personal experience with cerclages but I did have a neighbour who was diagnosed with incompetent cervix, and subsuquently had 4 successful pregnancies that she carried to term, all with cerclages so it is definately do-able!! Good luck!!

[zkat]

A friend of mine had two successful pregnancies with cercalages, so I think it is possible. FWIW - people say stupid stuff they have no business saying, especially when dealing with uncomfortable situations. My thought is that you and your husband know what is best for you two - no body else does. So if your heart is telling you that you want another and he is on board, go for it.

Kat.

PS - Welcome to TTCAL, you will find there are several ladies NTNP here at the moment, all are welcome!

[Celena]

No worries, I certainly hope that you stick around and allow us to get to know you and you to know us... it'll be allot easier to not have to "keep things in," be able to talk freely with others that understand you, where you're at in life and the things you've been thru.

I know that in the time that I've come out of lurking to re-registering and started posting so much help, support, compassion and love has been given by the ladies here... there are so many that have moved on to graduate, have their babies and so on but everyone who has been, is and peeks in are all so wonderful!

These JM ladies are wonderful!

[~LaurenNoel~]

I have never needed a cerclage, but I am high risk for a few other reasons, and we just had two losses. One was chemical, and the recent one was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. I have heard family say we should be happy with just Wes, but we want at least 2. I am new here, but these ladies are great, and we are ntnp too.

[RinkMom]

Hi and welcome.
I am Karen and I am 38 -- soon to be 39 (ouch). We have 4 wonderful children and 2 losses but I don't feel our family is complete either. It is a difficult decision to make and I have had similar comments to those you have received -- my mom actually said 'what if you die if you have another one'. Ultimately, it is your decision and your body's decision.

We are hoping for one more. I hope that YOU follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your family.

I have never had an experience with cerclages though but have met many women online who have had successful full=term pregnancies with a cerclage.