[BuckeyeGal23]

I'm curious if anyone has some good tips on keeping your composure when you are upset about your loss. I've really been struggling this week, now that I am back to work after my d&c last week. I just keep thinking "this time last week I was pregnant" or stuff along those lines. People at work didn't know about the pregnancy, so it's hard to act like nothing is going on even though I am in tears every time I turn my back to someone. I keep running to the bathroom to cry...

It was so hard this weekend...Saturday I woke up, and I felt totally "normal" - all of my pregnancy symptoms were gone, and it really just hit me that I am not pregnant any more. It was really shocking...I didn't realize how different I felt being pregnant.

Any advice for getting through the day? Sometimes I don't think I will get over it until I get pregnant again.

[lex1078]

Grieving is hard. Everyone processes it differently. Some take it easier and some take it harder. Is there any one at work you are close with who you can talk to? I know that talking to someone can help ease the pain.

[sheephater321]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand a lot of what you are feeling and am in a similar situation. I just found out I'm miscarrying #2. Going to work while you are in the middle of such an an emotional time can be really tough, but I agree with what lex said. If there is someone at work who you can talk to, you may want to do that. Having someone there just to know what's going on can be helpful. I know how weird it is to be sitting at your desk fighting back tears while everyone is oblivious. If you can take a couple days off, that may help to. With my last m/c I took several days off and basically layed in bed the whole time. Sometimes the distraction of work can be helpful, and sometimes it's not. Try to do what you can and take care of yourself. Confide in friends and family and do your best to stay positive. Easier said than done I know. i'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best.

[Celena]

I want to refer you to the Pregnancy Loss & TTCAL Info Spot sub-forum up top, there are a ton of articles and things reguarding coping with grief and emotions thru a loss.

I had an extremely hard time after my losses over the summer, and this last loss I've gone thru I still think about where I would be right now in my pregnancy had things not happened the way they did

[missy123]

I had a really hard time with my loss last year... it does get a little easier with time but that does not help right now while you are feeling that raw pain. I am sorry for your loss and sorry you are going through all of this. I agree with Celena, the loss board helped a lot for me. I vented away a lot and everyone really understood what I felt and was going through. I am so sorry....

[avecar10]

Hi, I understand what you're going through and I am so sorry. I agree with pp, maybe there is someone there you trust that you could share what happened with at least one person who you could call or take a break with when you are having an especially bad moment.

For me personally I found it easier the less people that knew. I'm a private person anyway, but people just don't know what to say alot of times. It may sound cliche', but you have to just take it one day at a time and even though you may never 'get over it', time does seem to soften the blow somewhat. After losing two preemie babies and both my parents in the past 4 years I have found this to be very true.

[ldovey83]

Each of us grieve our own ways, so what you are feeling is totally normal.. I had a really rough time with my first loss backin May.. Took me a while to snap out of it, and then when I had my second loss I did fine until a few months later it hit me, and I went through my emotions.. Now that it is hitting my one yr anniversary of loosing my first baby it is starting to come back to me, and I have been really emotional and bitter, and all.. So it takes time hun to heal.. You do what you need to, to help you cope (crying, screaming, writing poems , talking to someone) Whatever it is that helps you feel better do it.. HUGE HUGE HUGS..