[sheephater321]

hello everyone...I am so confused and upset and hoping to find some kind of comfort here. I had my first miscarriage in february. I waited one cycle and then immediately got pregnant again and was super excited and was hopeful, especially since I felt even more pregnant that last time. My doctors also said my numbers looked great. They put me on prometrium pills as a precaution but said they thought I'd be fine. Yesterday I found out that I'm miscarrying again(my HCG numbers dropped suddenly to 61). I dont know how common this is to have 2 m/c in a row and I am just a wreck. Luckily I have today off but am supposed to go back to work on wed. My boss knows about my first m/c and I missed 4 days of work the first time. Now, Im freaking out and b/c of the prometrium, I haven't started bleeding yet. I know that once I do start bleeding, I'll most likely become even more emotional. Well, I don't know what to do. My doctor is recommending that I wait to see if I miscarry a 3rd time before doing any testing. I dont think have it in me to go through this again. I'm so upset and am considering quiting my job b/c I just dont feel like I can cope with it right now, but I know that's an immature thing to do...
Anyone have any experience with this ...did you get testing after 2 m/c? How did you cope while miscarrying at work? Do you think work stress can cause mc's?? ...any help would be appreciated. thank you all so much for your support..

[daisyjay2]

hi hon, so sorry! your story sounds almost identical to mine. i have a healthy daughter that will be 2 soon, and she was my first pregnancy. then I miscarried in december at 11 weeks, had one cycle and got pregnant again and lost that baby at 9 weeks. my dr. recommended we have testing done because we had seen heartbeats in both pregnancies with good looking numbers. after much testing, everything came back normal. i was told that everything will come back 'normal' about 50% of the time and i would be just 'one of those unlucky ones.' i stay at home with my daughter so luckily i did not have to deal with miscarrying at work, but with that amount of blood i don't think that would have been an option. the bleeding did start slow though in the morning and get incredibly heavy in the afternoon so i would have had time to make it home had i been there. we opted not to do genetic testing yet, unless i miscarry a third time, but i would have had it done if i hadn't had a healthy pregnancy in the past. i really hope you have a good strong support because i know losing 2 in a row like this is just heartbreaking. take some time off work if your boss will let you. thoughts and prayers to you. i know it is hard, but in time it will get better and you will have your little baby
jayme

[Sweetpea24]

Im sry for your loss. But stress or anything you do will not cause a misscarriage I talked to my doctor about it, but its nothing you did.. I have had 5 healthy babies, and lost one last may, i still blame myself. But you will have that healthy baby (im finally pregnant with a health little one, im 9 wks. ) So dont lose hope.

[Celena]

Very sorry to hear that you're currently going thru your second loss, it isn't easy and it doesn't get any easier with a subsequent loss(es). Be gentle on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve, don't let anyone tell you that your shouldn't!

Working isn't easy when going thru a loss, especially if everyone knew you were pregnant... telling everyone what has happened is like a repeated stabbing to your emotional being every time you share what has happened. Altho I wouldn't quit because of it, that's a hastey decision to make that you might regret later... right now you're hormonal and in a rough, raw place. If you need a day or two off, then explain that or ask for it off. Perhaps they would be understanding, but sometimes going into work can take your mind off of the devastation because you have to concentrate on your work. It all depends on you.

I don't have a ton of advice on what you should do... with my 2 back to back losses this past summer I missed quiet a bit of work, then my most recent loss this year I only missed work when I was in the hospital and continued to go to work. I kept testing positive for approx 2 months post-mc and bled all that time, it would have been impossible to have all that time off. I also hadn't told anyone there that I was pregnant so it wasn't like I had to explain to anyone what was happening.

BTW, welcome to TTCAL! You will find wonderful and supportive ladies here that know what you're going thru and can share in their experiences, advice.

Oh.... and as far as testing, after my third in a row loss is when I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for testing. It was to find out why it was happening and so far, we're not 100% sure after thousands of dollars of bloodwork and testing later... which my ins may not pay for, but I don't regret it so far. Praying that ins does pay it tho.

[Natalie_Snow]

I am so sorry for your losses {HUGS}.

I've just had two losses recently (One in December and one in March)..they did not do any testing on me (except the tissue testing that came back normal)..they are waiting for 3 m/c before they test for anything...

Only two people knew about my second pregnancy, so it was much easier for me to get back to normal life (because i could not cry in front of them and i refused to tell them about my m/c). JM TTCAL was basically the only place where I got emotional support during that time (my DH wasn't very supportive during my second loss).

Now during the third pregnancy, they prescribed prometrium and baby aspirin.. that is all that they promised to do....they are not going to treat this pregnancy any different and they wouldn't even see me earlier than 8 weeks (which i may not have at all).

{HUGS}

[~LaurenNoel~]

I just had one chemical pregnancy, then a loss at 7 weeks. I know it is so hard to loss them in a row. I did not have testing yet either, but I do have a healthy son already. I hope you have a successful pregnancy soon, if you decide to try again. Hugs!

[brandi.lyn]

I'm so sorry for your losses, It's a heartwrenching thing to go through. I agree with above posters, stress will not be the main cause of a miscarriage, if you feel like you need to take time off of work, do it. Do you have sick time you could use? or someone you could talk to that would understand the situation? You don't even have to tell them what it is, just tell them you're sick, not everyone needs details. I have 3 children and after a loss in November 09' we're on our 5th cycle of trying, don't give up hope. Miracles happen in mysterious ways. Most doctors will tell you to wait at least 3 cycles before trying to conceive again, it gives your body the necessary time to recover, Your body just may not have been ready yet. If you need anything feel free to PM me I'm always around.

[j&jmom]

I'm sorry about your losses. I don't have any advice, but I hope the best for you in the future!

[JessP]

I am so sorry for your losses. After my second loss in a row Feb09/Feb10 I requested testing. My doctor was happy to do a referral for me. And my insurance covers. However not all insurance or dr.s feel that way. If you are worried talk to him and explain your concerns/fears. I pray that your next pregnancy if you decide to try again is a happy and healthy one. Many of us understand that fear and hurt.

[~Lynda~]

oh sweetie, big big hugs to you!!!! it is so horrible to lose a baby and two is simply devastating!!! i'm so sorry for your losses!!! most dr.s won't test till 3 miscarriages. i know that sucks!!! i recently had my 4th miscarriage so i know how disappointed you are!!! maybe ask if they can do testing when you do actually miscarry. see what they say. again i'm sooo sooo very sorry!!! hugs