[..Michelle..]

So here is my rant, vent, whatever....

I am so tired of TTC. I had some issues the other day with a pulling / tugging in my abdomen and I could have sworn this was our month. We DTD "doggie style" like we did when I got PG with Roman. I've been good with caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes.
But am I PG this month?? BIG FREAKING NO!!!! I went to the restroom this afternoon and AF reared her fugly, stinking, nasty face.
After almost 2 yrs of TTC I'm about ready to say *** IT! Why can't I be pregnant?? My sister who is 5 years younger than me (she's 26) is getting ready to pop out number 5....number 5!
When do I get MY Earth baby, when can I hold MY OWN baby in my arms forever, not just to watch him die??
I am literally bawling right now. I can't take this.....I am broken. Why does GOD hate me? I feel like I had one chance to have a baby and I lost it with Roman.
I CAN NOT go on like this....TTC only to get disappointed EVERY STINKING FREAKING MONTH!! I HATE THIS, I'M TIRED OF TRYING!!
DH wants to keep trying, saying we still have plenty of time....I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE.
When is it my turn? When.......

[BuckeyeGal23]

I'm so sorry you are going through this - I don't know what else to say except if you were here I'd give you a big hug! I'm sorry hon

[BabyAthena]

I just wanna say don't give up, I know it's hard.....and so very stressful.....emotional.....heartbreaking and just not fair but it will happen for you again. It took me 9 months to conceive my daughter (I know that is a short time compared to 2 years and I don't mean to say that I know what you are going through) and I was about to give up when my dr told me that the only thing keeping me from getting pregnant is my head (again that is not the case with everyone but just wanted to say that stress is a major factor in TTC). I was so obsessed with TTC, I sounded just like you right now. Well, I decided to make some changes. I used to work for a stock broker which is a very stressful job and gave me a lot of headaches so I just decided to leave and look for a new one. I stopped TTC (in my head) because I did not want to get pregnant while I was without a job. Two months later I got a BFP!

I am not trying to say that we should all quit our jobs in order to get pregnant, just saying that stress is very bad for TTC, and that stress maybe a job, family, money, or obsessing over TTC. So, find that peace so you can relax and it will happen again.

BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[brandimomof2]

I am crying reading your post. I feel your pain. I am so right where you are. Its been 2yrs for us as well. We did have a pregnancy and loss in there but still its been 2yrs. Its very hard and some times you feel like giving up. Getting pg is such a mystery. There is no reason why we shouldnt be pg right now but we are not.
I dont really have any encouraging words really because I feel the same as you do. I guess we just have to keep hanging on and praying. God so does not hate you. One day we will know all the answers to lifes mysteries.

[mom2njia]

Hun I am so sorry. I have been feeling the same way, except I keep getting pregnant, and losing them. I wish I knew what to say or why some women have such easy times having babies and we don't. It's just not fair.

[♥Ashley♥]

Oh man, HUGE I know exactly how you feel. My little sister got pregnant by accident at 19 and had him when we first started TTC. I actually found out I was pregnant for the first time while she was in the hospital having him. Now he is 18 months old and we still dont have a baby nor am I even pregnant

[missy123]

I could have written what you wrote.... I am sorry you are going through this and wish I could be more positive for you. We just gave up TTC and are trying to enjoy life.

[..Michelle..]

"Baby Athena"~ no we aren't going to give up TTC, I just feel like it's getting to me. I feel like I want to NTNP, but DH will want to know when I ovulate so he knows it's a "key" time to BD. Well that's not really "not trying." I just want the stress to go away and, like Missy said, enjoy life.

Brandi~ We must think alike. I just want it to be my time too! I know HE has a plan for all of us, I would just like to see my blueprint.

Ashley~ First, I want to say I LOVE your siggy!! You and your DH are a hott looking couple Second, ok, I've made up my mind. If YOU don't give up, I won't give up.

"Mom2nji"~ I am so sorry for you. You will get your sticky cement baby bean yet. I am sorry you have to keep going thru those losses. You're in my prayers.

Ok, DH is kicking me off the computer LOL....TTYL
Michelle T.

[Isabelle]

Don't give up. I'm in tears reading your post. I wish I could give you a massive real life hug.

[ldovey83]

There are many times I too have vented similar to this.. I thank God every day for the son I have, and I often question why the women who want a child and could love it are the ones who struggle to get pregnant or have the losses, and the ones who don't want the babies can easily abort them and as my friend said "get rid of the problem" I have never understood it.. All I know is God does things for a reason we may not know what they are but He does.... He does not hate you hun.. Right now even though you don't see it he is carrying you in his arms while we walk this rough road.. Please do not give up or ever think that God hates you.. Many many hugs to you hun.. Hang in there... Feel free to vent to us anytime cause we all are here for you...

[KAB]

This is a hard journey. It's not fair watching all those around us pop out kids left and right and we try so hard just to be disappointed month after month. I'm glad your not giving up. Hopefully soon God will allow you to have your earth baby and all this pain will be worth what we go through every month.

[~Lynda~]

i am so right there with ya hun!!!! i've just had my 4th miscarriage and my friend is contemplating going for number 6 and her baby is 6 months old. talk about aweful! hugs to you girl. i just gotta believe our time is coming!!!

[j&jmom]

I am so sorry for all that you have had to go through. I feel really selfish when I read post like this. I already have two beautiful boys, but am struggling to have a third child. I never understood all the pain and trouble a woman can have until after my m/c. My first two were conceived very easily. I also often question God's plan because of this and maybe I'm just not meant to have more than two children. I do however, believe in the power of prayer and I think when you get to the point where you are not so stressed and feeling good about life that He will answer your prayers. It seems to me that whenever I give up trying to control my life, stop stressing, and just pray that my life changes in the best way. My dh and I were both extremely stressed when we lost our baby and it took us awhile to get back on track. I wish you the best of luck in TTC your little one. If you have the ability, I would plan a vacation with my dh . . . something to take your mind off of ttc and think about only the two of you the entire vacation. Good luck!