Names (m/c mentioned)

Lex&angels · #1 May 28th, 2010, 07:19 AM

I know naming a miscarried child is something very personal, and it was so early and we didn't know the sex either time.

The first time we hadn't even *really* started discussing names.
The second time, we did, and we even agreed that the baby was probably a boy. And that we should name him Ezekiel. NOT a name we had talked about before that pregnancy. It just totally came out of nowhere.

Last night we were talking and I asked if he could see us ever using that name since it was so strongly associated with that pregnancy, and we agreed that we never would use that name.

So we pretty much gave a name to our 2d angel.
But now I feel bad because our first doesn't have a name and I can't help but wonder if it's a little silly to give a name? Perhaps because my MIL totally shot me down when I mentioned my babies were in heaven and that I missed them and she was all like "you wouldn't even have known if you had waited a week past your missed period to test".

I have so many mixed feelings.
Did anyone else name an early loss angel?

ldovey83 · #2 May 28th, 2010, 08:07 AM

It is not silly to name the babies you loose.. It helps you to cope with the loss... I gave nicknames to both of mine, but everyone is different.. HUGS hang in there hun..

RinkMom · #3 May 28th, 2010, 08:38 AM

I was a little further along and knew the gender of my first baby. I named him Callum. My second, we didn't k now the gender so I decided his name would be Arin (cross between Aaron and Erin).
That was not a nice thing for your MIL to say.

angel3y35 · #4 May 28th, 2010, 08:45 AM

It's not silly at all IMHO. We named ours. Even though it was so early I just feel it would have been a girl so we named her Isabella Grace. I have no idea where that name came from because it wasn't one either of us was considering. I looked it up last night and Isabella means "consecrated to God" and Grace means...well Grace. Once I found that out I knew it was a perfect name. It makes me feel better. If it makes you feel better naming your angel that's what matters. Your MIL was being a butt head

MeganMomof5 · #5 May 28th, 2010, 08:54 AM

I gave Ella a name because she had the name before she passed away, so it was only right to keep that name for her, even though I love that name so much and I wish we could use it for a baby, it's her name and I won't ever re-use it...I didn't name my last baby...I didn't know the gender of the baby and we hadn't even talked about names yet, so it just doesn't feel right to me...I'm sure its different for everyone...If I had known the gender I might of named the baby, but even then i'm not sure if I would have...If I had a name picked before hand then it might of been different.

j&jmom · #6 May 28th, 2010, 09:19 AM

I like others, didn't know the sex and hadn't talked about names, so we didn't name our m/c.

Kary♥RN · #7 May 28th, 2010, 11:45 AM

Out of our three losses... Only one has a "Name"... Our first loss was very early, a chemical (I hate that term) I call that baby my First Angel, Our second was a later 1 trimester loss.. I had to have a d/e. My DH didn't want to know the sex, But I did. I looked it up at work, it was xx a little girl. I named her Hope. My Third loss was another early loss.. My HCG never doubled. I would have been due May 10th, My birthday is May 1. That baby will always be my Birthday Baby.

Naming them makes it real. If you felt it was boy vs a girl... Go with it. It is ok, and they will be forever your baby-babies!!!!!

mlyster · #8 May 28th, 2010, 11:53 AM

I didn't name any of my losses but that is only because we had not discussed any names before and it felt strange to "use up" a name that had never been associated with that baby. But I know many people name their losses - it is a great step to healing.

Also, your MIL had never had a loss correct? That would explain the comment. Your babies are in heaven, or are watching over you, or are wherever you believe they are. It is a person thing for you and whatever you need to think to give you peace is the right thing for you. It was insensitive for her to say that. Even if you had not tested until you were a week late and never knew about the pregnancy - you were still pregnant. You acknowledging it does not make it so - the fact that egg met sperm and implanted made it so. Think and feel what you will for those babies because no matter what anyone says they were your babies!