Why is it that I always have Monday moans on Tuesdays?

tobi4 · #1 June 15th, 2010, 01:54 PM

Seriously, one of my friends at work was asking me today if Ive had any 'good news'. So after explaining where I am in my cycle and no bfp yet, one of the other women started asking me questions. Normally Im pretty friendly with her, so as irritating as she was with comments like ... (You didnt even miss a period yet and your thinking about being pregnant?? I just woke up and realized I missed my period each time! Your thinking about it too much Tobi.) I still smiled and tried to be nice.... THEN THE KICKER ... "OMG You are almost 40 and trying to have a baby? Can you imagine their graduation and people looking at you and saying 'How nice, the grandparents came' ... I looked at her and just said "I cant deal with your sh-it any more". What a stinking cow. Ive been trying not to cry ever since. The other lady picked up for me right away, but those words cant be taken back, especially when I myself have said to dbf that I dont want to ttc for too long cause I dont want to look like gramma. One of my own deep personal fears, exposed and criticized.
Anyway, thanks for reading.

aitch · #2 June 15th, 2010, 03:02 PM

Oh Tobi, I'm so sorry.

That was just down right mean. Ignore it and don't worry about having been short with her (personally, I think she deserved it!). I'd love to be one of those people that's lucky enough to "just wake up and realise they'd missed a period" but I'm not anymore and never will be again.

I've seen your pics - you WON'T look like a grandma! I do know what you mean though. DH is 40+ and that's one of his fears. Somehow it's more acceptable for the man to be older but he really does worry about being too old to enjoy his kids.

Hopefully the crying is all to do with hormones and being overly emotional. Don't let them get you down - you've enough to contend with!

martilynne · #3 June 15th, 2010, 03:04 PM

My dad was 42 when I was born and nobody ever mistook him for my grandpa. Tobi you look so awesome I would've never guessed in a million years that you're 40. Don't people think before they speak? What a witch, i'm so glad you said something to her.

zkat · #4 June 15th, 2010, 03:10 PM

Tobi, she deserved it. People need to learn to keep their hurtful comments to themselves.

DH is 40 and I am 35 and it is one of his fears. I was talking to a male co-worker the other day and mentioned DH being bugged by the fact that he is going to be the oldest dad at T-ball. My co-worker assured me that he is made fun because he is the youngest, by almost a decade. He is 33.

I have had several co-workers that are done raising their kids at 45 mention that it would freak them out to start over now. I tell them it freaks me out to think about raising a kid in my 20's.

Hang in there, Tobi!

Kat.

aitch · #5 June 15th, 2010, 03:15 PM

Interesting thought (though somewhat unrelated to Tobi's original post) what are the age differences between us and our SOs. DH is 11 years my senior.

tobi4 · #6 June 15th, 2010, 03:24 PM

Dbf is 4 almost 5 years younger than me. Ha!

aitch · #7 June 15th, 2010, 03:52 PM

Almost Cougar territory Tobi! Good for you!!! (hope you know me well enough not to take that the wrong way).

tobi4 · #8 June 15th, 2010, 03:57 PM

Absolutely, I do know you well enough! lol, Hey did I mention how glad I am that you came back??

aitch · #9 June 15th, 2010, 04:10 PM

Aww, thanks!

BeccaM · #10 June 15th, 2010, 04:34 PM

Some just really need to think before they speak. Sorry you had to go thru that Tobi. I work for a Pediatrician and this week we had a new baby come in and the mother is 57 and the dad is 47. Anything and everything is possible!

markswife · #11 June 15th, 2010, 05:42 PM

I'm 35 and DH is 48 and this is our first. I'm really glad that you said something to that lady. If you look this awesome at 40, you are going to rock at 58!

aitch · #12 June 15th, 2010, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markswife

I'm 35 and DH is 48 and this is our first. I'm really glad that you said something to that lady. If you look this awesome at 40, you are going to rock at 58!

I look rough at 30 - this doesn't bode well!

lex1078 · #13 June 15th, 2010, 06:51 PM

Not that this is going to ease the pain of what that rude lady said, which I would have smacked her for that, but today on The View they were talking about these 2 women in Indonesia (I think) one was 67 and the other was 70 and they both had IVF. One of them had a baby boy and the other had TRIPLETS!!! Are these women NUTS??? I don't get why they wanted to do this, and why a DR. would let them!!!! UGH!! It just irritates the crap out of me!

DH is 3 1/2 years older than me.