[ldovey83]

I went back to the Feb DDC and now I am in tears.. The ladies in there complaining about morning sickness and I just want to scream I would take it, if it ment that I didn't loose my baby.. I don't know why I do this to myself.. I guess I finally broke down and let it all out.. I have been holding it back and just being angry but now I am in tears.. Life is just not fair.. Not by any means..

[MamaRN]

Aw, ((HUGS)) I am so sorry. I've lurked in the January DDC too since losing my baby. It's so hard to see all their tickers and know I should be there too. This really sucks.

[KAB]

I'm so sorry, and you're right it's really not fair at all! I also torture myself by going and visiting my ddc every once in a while. Let's just keep hoping and praying that in due time we will get to hold our precious little babies in our arms, and this whole journey will be worth it.

[MeganMomof5]

(((Hugs))) I felt the same way when I lost Ella, it was really really hard...I actually didn't go back to the September DDC after my 2nd loss for a long time...I've popped in a couple of times, but it's still really hard...I actually still post on the Feb 2010 group since they've all been so supportive of me, but right after my loss it was really hard for me to go in and read things.

[Servilia]

Let it all out hon!! I feel the same way! women in my DDC are finding out the gender of their babies and here I am still struggling to get that sticky BFP

We're here for you, vent all you need!!

[3Sapphires]

I feel the same - like I like torturing myself. I lurk a lot in the Jan DDC, and feel so much worse after wards...

It is so hard to not think about the "ifs"

[markswife]

I think we all have to learn this lesson the hard way. I had to stop going to the September DDC because it made me bawl for the rest of the night. I just stayed on this board where I knew I was safe. I'm sorry!!

[ldovey83]

I've done this with each loss, but after the first two I told myself that it was just a random thing and my next one will be my sticky, but now reality is setting in and I am realizing that there is something wrong... It has been hard for me to grasp considering last time I was at my Dr's after my second loss he said he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with me that it was just a random thing... So now I lurk in there and realize that hey who knows when I will ever get to get that far... It's just really hard for me to take in.. The emotional pain is just starting to catch up with me..

[SkyBaby]

I was originally in the March 2010 DDC and lurked there even tho it made me crazy. *hugs* I totally understand how you feel.

[mom2njia]

I am doing this with the Jan DDC too. Kills me.

[lex1078]

I still do it with my DDC's and also the March 09 PR. It hurts a lot so I don't do it all that often.

[Natalie_Snow]

I do not do it with the November DDC but i still lurk in July DDC... it hurts to think that I could have had a baby in 20 days . I love to look at those huge bellies...It doesn't actually hurt me but leaves me kinda sad and wondering..

I understand why they complain about m/s as it can be pretty bad during the first tri.... I personally hate morning sickness but i enjoy it at the same time because it means that the baby is probably ok.

[Anna.Loves.Toast]

I still lurk in my old DDC too

[mafiamom]

i go back every once in awhile. but now that they are getting close to delivering (August DDC) i find i am not going back much at all.

i so totally know how you feel!!!

[ldovey83]

Thanks ladies.. I know I shouldn't do it, but it is addicting.. IT is almost like it calls out to me everytime I pass by it..LOL