[HopefulMommy81]

Hi ladies,
Well, as Liz was nice enough to post last night for me, we had our second opinion and the doctors were amazing but definetly didn't give us any good news at all. The doctor at UCSF (Head of Perinatology btw) thinks that I actually ruptured my membranes back at 17 weeks and the test they performed then wasn't accurate that early....so why the heck they did it I have no idea. Just on a side note, with my Spina Bifida, I self-catherize myself to urinate so sometimes I have leaking which got worse with the hormones of pregnancy so really I wouldn't know if something was amniotic fluid or not. Apparently my scan last week I had NO amniotic fluid at all- even though I was never told that it's in the report. Yesterday, there again is no fluid at all and the baby's stomach is empty which means the baby hasn't gotten any fluid in quite a while. The kidneys and bladder of the baby are fine, but the lungs continue to have a bad shape which indicates very poor lung development (or according to this doctor the baby most likely like 99% chance, doesn't have any mature lung tissue). Also, because the baby hasn't swallowed any fluid for a long time, s/he probably has gut problems/damage as well and because there's no fluid surrounding the baby the joints would be bad as well. So overall, the baby isn't at all healthy- I know everything could be managed (i.e. gut ad joints) but the lungs can't be fixed. Even if I were to somehow have fluid there today, it's basically too late because lung development happens between 16 and 23 weeks and I'm over the 22 mark and the rupture must have happened between 16/4 and 17/5. So yeah, no good news came out of the appt except that the doctor was really amazingly nice and comforting and answered all the questions I could come up with (DH didnt' ask anything- I think it was too much to take in).
What happens now? Well, there is a test called the dye test that can tell for sure if I've ruptured- the put a needle into the amniotic sac and inject some blue fluid and then immediately put a tampon in and after 30-45 minutes if the tampon is blue when it's taken out, then you know it's ruptured. The course of action won't change really, but at least then I'd know. And being a nurse, I need to know the reason this is happening, you know? My choices are to wait to go into labor (in which case the baby might not make it even through labor because it would be too stressful), have a D&E before 24 weeks, or be induced. We have a lot of thinking to do. The problem with waiting it out is 1) it will be incredibly emotionally hard on us to continue to be pregnant but know the baby won't make it and 2) I'm at such a high risk for infection at this point and apparently a lot of times the infection isn't caught for a while and then it can actually affect our future chances of being pregnant again. However, I'm a good Catholic girl with specific morals so I don't know what we're going to do- I hate the thought of not giving Pumpkin a chance even though the experts tell me there isn't a chance to begin with, but I can't imagine not ever being able to have a healthy baby.
Well, if you've made it through this whole post, congrats to you! I want to thank all of you for your continued support, well wishes, and prayers for all of us.

[~LaurenNoel~]

oh, hun. I can't even imagine. I will be praying for you guys.

[MeganMomof5]

I just posted on the TTC, but I just wanted to offer more hugs (((Hugs)))

[ohnicole]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm glad you found a doctor that you feel comfortable with- that really can make a big difference, especially when you have such a hard decision to make. Whatever you decide, it will be the right choice. Huge hugs.

[OwensMommy25]

I'm so sorry for whats going on. I wish you all the best. You and your baby are in my prayers

[Kary♥RN]

Jacque.. I am so sorry..... I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.. I can;t even imagine what you are going through.. HUGS.. HUGS.. HUGS

[LisaG825]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

[HopefulMommy81]

Thank you so much, ladies!

[Natalie_Snow]

I am so sorry for what is going on. {HUGS} You're in my thoughts!

[KAB]

I'm so very sorry, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.

[ldovey83]

My heart goes out to you sweety.. I can't even imagine what you are going through, and that is a very tough spot to be in.. I will pray that God gives you comfort and guidance in the right direction.. Many many hugs to you!!!! Please keep us posted as you feel up to it..

[*MomofO&Nat*]

Oh, hon I am so so sorry you and your DH have to make this choice and go through this. Whatever you decide, it will be what is best for you and baby. Big hugs to you!

[MomtoCTSK]

I am so sorry, I can't even imagine. May God bring you peace when you need it most and strength during this difficult time.

[zkat]

Jacque,

I am so, so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kat.

[brandimomof2]

I am so sorry. I guess a amnio infusion is not an option? I think that is what its called. I know I have seen women have this when fluid is low and they are not far enough along. YOu are in my prayers and praying for a miracle for you.

[funnygal]

I'm so very sorry. You're in my prayers...

[mom2njia]

I am so sorry, I will keep praying for a miracle.

[RinkMom]

Oh my goodness I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry you are going through this. I will be thinking of you.

[HopefulMommy81]

Thanks ladies!
Basically even if I were to suddenly have a large amount of amniotic fluid today, it'd be too late. The lungs develop between 16 and 23 weeks and since I'm almost at 23 weeks and this all started in the 17th week we've missed out on the critical time.

[SkyBaby]

I am so sorry.. Take your time making your decision and pray and pray. Who knows, maybe a miracle will happen. I will pray for you, as well.