[SkyBaby]

I tested (with one of those new FRERs cuz that's all I could find anywhere), stark white negative. I thought even with my pee as diluted as it is from all the water I drink (it's hot here and where I work has no AC) that there'd at least be something even very faint for how "late" I am, but nope. I think I'm just having another screwed up cycle. I'm done with testing until next cycle. It was all DH's idea I test right now. We even DTD almost every night straight for a week. I got more sex out of him than we have done in a while. This is ridiculous.

I'm working my butt of at curves literally and I'm beginning to see a difference. Part of me doesn't think I'll even get pregnant at all until this weight I've gained is gone. That's the kind of motivation I need right there.

Onto why I'm posting:

You know what's weird? A lot of people tell me it's just in my head. My cycle problems, all of it. Sure, no doubt stress is throwing me off, but I can't do anything about that. To get rid of a majority of the stress, I'll need to quit my stupid job. I can't right now. They're all telling me I want a baby so bad that I'm causing my cycles to go crazy on me. I don't know what to think. I'm beginning to think they're right. I can't just shove it out of my mind. That's impossible. Something drastic will have to happen before I stop wanting a baby. It's even more impossible when baby stuff, pregnancy, and all that is thrown in my face every day at work.

My husband is a state worker at the nearby prison. He is an LVN. We live in California, and all state workers in CA are being furloughed. My husband and his coworkers have to work 3 days out of the month free, but they can't take those days off. They have to show up for work like they would if they were actually getting paid those three days. So that's a lot of money we don't have but should be getting every month. These stupid furloughs are supposed to be ending sometime next month.

I have talked DH about my leaving my job after the furloughs are done and he thinks I should just keep working there until I'm pregnant and even after I get pregnant until I can't anymore. I'm thinking 'No. And heck no.' Stress makes people mc and another mc is exactly what i want to avoid. I've explained all this to him, but he just doesn't take it seriously. This job will end on good terms and I will put in my 2 weeks notice just as a common courtesy thing to do. Retail experience looks good on almost all resumes and applications. I just want to be done with it. DH seems to think I should stick out as long as I'm able. I've been there almost a year. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the minimum wage industry and yet we don't have enough money for me to quit and go to school full time before we have a baby thanks to the furloughs that may or may not ever end.

I am kinda running in circles here. What should I do?

[ldovey83]

That is a tough situation. I see where you are coming from... Stress can be very bad on the body and rough on your cycles.. That could be your case.. I can't give you advice on what to do about your job and living situation cause that is something that you have to follow your heart on.. I wanted to wish you luck hun and I hope you can get answers soon.

[KAB]

I agree with Lindsey, this is something that only you and DH can decided together. It's tough, because I understand how terrible a stressful job is, but this is also a bad economic time. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you do decide.

[Celena]

Kira

You know that stress can add to cycle disruptions and conceiving like your body has a protection mechinism, BUT and a BIG BUT (not big butt) you'd have to be under a great deal of stress along with malnourishment and so on for it to be that much of an effect. I'm not sure how stressed you are at your job and what the effects it has on you exactly. I'm sorry that I can't be more help... anxiety and stress reduction is important, but ya know it's hard not to when this isn't exactly the easiest road to travel. I realize that your job causes you allot of emotional turmoil, as well as the conversations we've had about the area and jobs available there but don't give up Kira!!!

Have you considered taking herbs to help regulate your cycles? Like Chaste tree berry (aka vitex), evening primrose before O and there's a slew of others... but a good beginning one is vitex, it takes time for it to work as it is a gradual type of thing for over time. It's a great overall female cycle tonic. Drinking red raspberry tea or capsules, nettles, burdock, dandelion root, red clover, don quai are all great female tonics. I think Traditional Medicinals makes a tea with a good female tonic.

I'm sorry that it's all up in the air... that DH wants you to continue working there until and or thru your pregnancy in the future, but I still say keep scouting for a new job you just might find one in the most unlikely place. Don't give up and don't give in, you can and will get thru this ON TOP!

[ohnicole]

I have also heard everyone's theories on how being stressed can make your cycles screwy. But sometimes people's bodies just don't do things right. And I have to believe (at least for myself) that if my cycle is messed up for over a year, that it's something going on with my body, not that I am stressed. I hope that getting into better shape will kickstart your cycle.

But I think it is stressful to think that your life is causing your TTC issues, IYKWIM? Other people just don't know what it's like to try so long through losses and infertility. It's impossible to stop wanting it.

If you don't like your job, I would continue to look for other jobs. I have been in sort of the same boat jobwise lately, and I am trying to think of unconventional solutions. Nanny-ing (if that is a word ), caring for people with disabilities, things like that, where maybe you still don't make a ton of money, but you feel like your job does some good. I hope you figure out something that works for you. Not liking your job is so rough!

[missy123]

Dont let these people stress you out anymore! I honestly think that it is hogwash that they are saying your overwhelming desire to have a baby is making you not have one and making your cycles screwy. If that were the case then no one would graduate out of this room!

Can you get a different job with less stress that you enjoy more? Are you the one in Retail with the nasty bosses and coworkers?

I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard. Vent here, it helps.

[SkyBaby]

Originally Posted by ldovey83

That is a tough situation. I see where you are coming from... Stress can be very bad on the body and rough on your cycles.. That could be your case.. I can't give you advice on what to do about your job and living situation cause that is something that you have to follow your heart on.. I wanted to wish you luck hun and I hope you can get answers soon.

Thanks so much! I'm feeling better about this issue for now, since at least my period finally showed up. DH is completely behind me on this and really seems to have changed his mind on this.

Originally Posted by KAB

I agree with Lindsey, this is something that only you and DH can decided together. It's tough, because I understand how terrible a stressful job is, but this is also a bad economic time. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you do decide.

I'm always looking for other jobs. Finding one in aviation isn't too hard. With working at Kmart, I don't have much time to go look regularly. It's my dream job to be a pro aviation photographer and get hired at one of the nearby military bases. I'm quite obsessed with aviation. Thanks so much, hun!!

Originally Posted by Celena

Kira

You know that stress can add to cycle disruptions and conceiving like your body has a protection mechinism, BUT and a BIG BUT (not big butt) you'd have to be under a great deal of stress along with malnourishment and so on for it to be that much of an effect. I'm not sure how stressed you are at your job and what the effects it has on you exactly. I'm sorry that I can't be more help... anxiety and stress reduction is important, but ya know it's hard not to when this isn't exactly the easiest road to travel. I realize that your job causes you allot of emotional turmoil, as well as the conversations we've had about the area and jobs available there but don't give up Kira!!!

Have you considered taking herbs to help regulate your cycles? Like Chaste tree berry (aka vitex), evening primrose before O and there's a slew of others... but a good beginning one is vitex, it takes time for it to work as it is a gradual type of thing for over time. It's a great overall female cycle tonic. Drinking red raspberry tea or capsules, nettles, burdock, dandelion root, red clover, don quai are all great female tonics. I think Traditional Medicinals makes a tea with a good female tonic.

I'm sorry that it's all up in the air... that DH wants you to continue working there until and or thru your pregnancy in the future, but I still say keep scouting for a new job you just might find one in the most unlikely place. Don't give up and don't give in, you can and will get thru this ON TOP!

Had I not miscarried and had my cycles been normal all this time, I probably wouldn't have so many misgivings about working while pregnant. I am aware a lot of women do, but since I miscarried, it would make me too nervous. Added stress at work. Ya know? I did finally get my period, a week late.

I'll pick up some of those vitamins in town. There's a natural vitamin place in town.

I'm going to go in and talk to some people at this private aeronautical engineering and aircraft manufacturing company at the local airport in town. I hear sometimes they hire photographers on a contract. That is my dream job. It wouldn't be regular money like at Kmart and I have talked about this to DH, and he is completely supportive even after I explained to him that we'd be pretty much living pay check to pay check. He hugged me and said, "I know how stressful having a job you hate is. I'm behind you 100%." He's really had an about face on this.

I just hope they'll hire me. I'm gonna go talk to them today and show them some of my photos.

Originally Posted by cricket909

I have also heard everyone's theories on how being stressed can make your cycles screwy. But sometimes people's bodies just don't do things right. And I have to believe (at least for myself) that if my cycle is messed up for over a year, that it's something going on with my body, not that I am stressed. I hope that getting into better shape will kickstart your cycle.

But I think it is stressful to think that your life is causing your TTC issues, IYKWIM? Other people just don't know what it's like to try so long through losses and infertility. It's impossible to stop wanting it.

If you don't like your job, I would continue to look for other jobs. I have been in sort of the same boat jobwise lately, and I am trying to think of unconventional solutions. Nanny-ing (if that is a word ), caring for people with disabilities, things like that, where maybe you still don't make a ton of money, but you feel like your job does some good. I hope you figure out something that works for you. Not liking your job is so rough!

That makes a lot of sense, which is why my doctor thinks it's PCOS. I'm still trying to lose weight and get back into shape (took doing that to get my cycles back on track mostly). I joined curves. The number on the scale hasn't changed a whole lot, but I know I'm getting muscle. My thighs are hard as rocks.

Originally Posted by missy123

Dont let these people stress you out anymore! I honestly think that it is hogwash that they are saying your overwhelming desire to have a baby is making you not have one and making your cycles screwy. If that were the case then no one would graduate out of this room!

Can you get a different job with less stress that you enjoy more? Are you the one in Retail with the nasty bosses and coworkers?

I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard. Vent here, it helps.

That's a very good point. I didn't look at it like that before.

I do work retail. I am a cashier at a Kmart. My bosses drive me crazy sometimes. The major industry in the surrounding area is aviation related (2 military bases and several airports). I've been dreaming about being an aviation photographer professionally for years now. I've been seriously shooting for about 7 months (got a new camera, a DSLR by Canon), but have been shooting with digital point and shoots for years. There's two small airports in town.

I do, and it does!!! Hugely.