Miscarriage Mentioned Question about dates and heartbeat, please help

PennyLynn · #1 July 15th, 2010, 03:29 PM

I'm sorry if this is too long and thankyou if you have the patience to read the whole thing, but I am so sad and at a loss right now. I recently miscarried (on Monday) and am left with a big question that I think ya'll might be able to help me with.

I'm 21 and in good health, and miscarried the day after hearing the baby's heartbeat and seeing in move for the first time. I was 7 wks and 5 days. I had been bleeding for a week, but was in denial after hearing the heartbeat. Anyways, this obviously left me with a lot of questions - most importantly WHY it happened - and I think I might know.

My first BFP (I hadn't tested at all before then so who knows how early I could have gotten one) was June 6th. My cycles are extremely irregular and I can't remember my LMP. When I went to my first appointment/ultra sound on June 28th I was dated at 5 weeks and 5 days. This really shocked me because I thought I was father along, and a week later at an ultrasound (in the ER after bleeding) I was dated 6 weeks 4 days, so the previous ultra sound couldn't have been inaccurate. ANYWAYS - my point is that I would have had to be 2 weeks and 4 days pregnant (basically when I concieved) when I got my BFP (yes I was using a FRER, but a dollar store cheapie was BFP two days later). Impossible, right?? Which makes me think I miscarried due to lack of growth or developing appropriately. BUT there was a heartbeat (????). The doctors at the ER said that b/c of the heartbeat they think the baby was chromosomally okay and growing right. meh.

Did anybody else get a BFP as early as 2 weeks and 4 days and end up with a baby??? Is my story sounding familiar in any way??? Please help me.

LisaG825 · #2 July 15th, 2010, 04:15 PM

I am sorry for your loss. You may have ovulated earlier than what you thought, especially if you have irregular cycles.

Also about the hb and what the ER dr. said. I m/c at 15w4d and heard the heartbeat several times. Plus I had 4 u/s and they said everything looked fine. Pathology report came back that I had a partial molar pregnancy and the baby had XXY chromosomes. So in my case, it is not true about what your ER dr. said

PennyLynn · #3 July 15th, 2010, 04:28 PM

okay that makes sense about how I heard the heartbeat but it could still be a chromosomal problem. But my dates aren't based on my O day, it's on my BFP which means days after implantation. That's what i'm the most confused about

Fallen2Love · #4 July 15th, 2010, 04:54 PM

I have irregular cycles. It didn't bother me when I was pregnant with DD, but looking back I wish I knew more about conception and how important ovulation is in determining how far along a pregnancy is (or is not).

Mainly, I O late in my cycle and I do not have a typical 28 day cycle. So if a doc where to do an early u/s (Say around the <6-8 week mark based on the 28 day cycle) they might just see a sac w/ no fetal pole and say I'm going to m/c. However, if they take into consideration that I have a 30-40 day cycle and O late in the cycle - they would realize I would probably be between 4-6 weeks when a 28 day cycle woman would be in the 6-8 wk range.

W/ both of my m/c I never heard a heart beat so I can't be much help in that aspect. TMI - The only reason I admitted my last m/c was in fact a m/c was because of the amount of tissue I was passing in the office. They still were not able to give me a reason why after being sent to the lab. For either time that is. Just an "everything looks normal - sometimes this just happens." My first m/c happened I was 18, so being young and in good health doesn't make us immune, unfortunately.

What my OB said, is genetics is very complicated and they can only test for so many genetic abnormalities. So while, they didn't notice anything *huge* it could have been some small abnormality that they don't test for and stuff happens.

missy123 · #5 July 15th, 2010, 06:38 PM

I have to agree with Lisa. It sounds like you o'ed and/or implanted earlier than you thought. I am sorry for your loss, it is very heartbreaking.

MamaRN · #6 July 15th, 2010, 11:56 PM

My understanding is that the baby can have a heart beat and still not grow at a normal rate and perhaps that is what happened to you. I saw my baby on ultrasound and the heart beat twice (at 6w 5d and 7w4d) and he or she was growing well and I still miscarried (had and SCH.)

I am truly sorry for your loss.

mary30 · #7 July 16th, 2010, 05:58 AM

Sometimes you will never know why you had miscarriages. I have had 4 and stil ldo not know. My most recent on was last month I went in had my 10 week and 4 day vist. Everything looked great We saw the baby moving around.This was on a Thursday and on That following Saturday night early sunday morning I miscarried..

I am so sorry for you loss and I agree It sounds like you ovulated sooner than you thought

tobi4 · #8 July 16th, 2010, 07:11 AM

Looking at your dates, I can see why you are so confused. You are right about thinking you should have been furthur along. There is just over 3 weeks between your bfp and ultrasound. You are absolutely right. Having a bfp, then 3 weeks later the ultrasound says 5w5d? Are you sure of your original test date? But even more confusing, if you did O early ... and if there was a problem with slow growth, how was there an appropriate increase in size between the 2 ultrasounds? Im sorry I cant help you to understand what happened, but I wanted you to know ... Im right there with ya, Im totally confused how thats even possible. ~hugs~ Im so sorry for your loss.

ldovey83 · #9 July 16th, 2010, 09:25 AM

I agree with what most ladies said and maybe you had a different O date... I am truly sorry for your loss.. Feel free to vent all the ladies here are wonderful, and this is a great group to just vent too.. We all know how you are feeling at one point or another.. HUGS

~InHisHands~ · #10 July 16th, 2010, 09:26 AM

I have no idea but wanted to offer

mommy jenn · #11 July 16th, 2010, 11:19 AM

hun, i am terribly sorry for your loss

my first bfp ended up the same way. loss at just under 8 weeks. we had seen our little bean moving and the hear beat flashing away but it was just not meant to be... in fact we watched our baby die. i started spotting red and went to the ER for a scan and baby's heart was beating fine and my cervix was closed. i was so relieved. the next day i woke to a flood of bleeding and raced off to my DR he scanned and told me my baby was dead and i would need a dnc. i went to another doctor who was kind enough to explain to me what was going on.

i had no idea what was busy happening to me. all i knew was the day before my baby was was alive and now it was gone!!!
this doctor was kind enough to do another scan and we could see the heart beating but very irregularly and very faint. we watched the scan for about 15 minutes and slowly but surely the little flickers got further and further apart and less and less until i couldnt take it anymore.

that was the hardest thing i have EVER experienced.

funny thing is, i have just had my 3rd mc and it def seems to get easier. i must say when i saw the blood this time i was ok. i would rather mc this early than grow to love something that leaves me heart broken a months down the line.

i know it sounds heartless but we are the lucky ones. the earlier the better. i dont know how those ladies live after a loss at 12 weeks and more. i would not survive im sure.

i really wish you all the best and hope you get your sticky bfp very soon!!! good luck hun!!

PennyLynn · #12 July 16th, 2010, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tobi4 plus1more

Looking at your dates, I can see why you are so confused. You are right about thinking you should have been furthur along. There is just over 3 weeks between your bfp and ultrasound. You are absolutely right. Having a bfp, then 3 weeks later the ultrasound says 5w5d? Are you sure of your original test date? But even more confusing, if you did O early ... and if there was a problem with slow growth, how was there an appropriate increase in size between the 2 ultrasounds? Im sorry I cant help you to understand what happened, but I wanted you to know ... Im right there with ya, Im totally confused how thats even possible. ~hugs~ Im so sorry for your loss.

Thankyou for understanding, and for everyone who who responded. I am sure of my BFP because I started writing "notes to baby" with a date at the top on the day I found out I was pregnant. I guess I should accept that I won't know why and not worry my head off about it unless it happens again.

~InHisHands~ · #13 July 17th, 2010, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PennyLynn

I am sure of my BFP because I started writing "notes to baby" with a date at the top on the day I found out I was pregnant. I guess I should accept that I won't know why and not worry my head off about it unless it happens again.

That is soooooooo sweet!

I know after my m/c the thing that helped me the most with "why" was a Bible study... Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy.

again... I wish none of us ever had to go through the pain of loss.