You're definitely not crazy. I've had anxiety and panic attacks for the better part of the last 10 years. It's definitely not fun. I also had severe PPD with DS and mild PPD with DD (because I knew what to look for the second time around). I took Effexor XR years ago, before we started ttc our first. Since then I've taken Zoloft. Even taking meds I still have issues. It's definitely a one day at a time kind of thing. I hope you're able to find someone that you trust that you can talk to. If it makes you feel better both of my parents were prescribed Wellbutrin to help them quit smoking a few years ago. Neither of them had any anxiety/panic attack issues before taking it. But it really did a number on both of them. My mom started getting feelings of paranoia and the chest tightening feeling, couldn't concentrate, had a really short temper and my dad had the chest thing, felt foggy, and couldn't sleep for weeks. Eventually they couldn't take it anymore and came off of the meds. It took quite a while for them to start feeling "normal" again. I hope you're able to find someone to talk to that you trust and something that will help you, because I know that feeling that way is one of the most helpless feelings in the world.