[LisaG825]

I am so mad at a friend right now. I really wish she would think before she says stuff. I told her exactly why I couldn't go to her baby shower. She knows how I feel. She had her baby on June 28 and is coming home this weekend. My baby was due June 5th. We were exactly 4 weeks apart by our due dates. She sends me a text that says

Hey we r coming home this weekend. I am txting for a girls and baby night friday night 6pm at applebees can u make it.


OK What the h***? I am sure she sent out a max text to a bunch of people. Not sure if that means for other people to bring their kids or not. When I first read it I thought that is what it meant but now that I look at it I think she just means her baby. She could have worded the text different for me. Saying that she wants to have a girls night, but the baby will be there so she understands if I don't want to come I told her a long time ago that I would probably be ok seeing her pg if it was just me and her but not with a bunch of ppl around. Use common sense and apply it towards other things. I saw my neice the day she was born and about a week later I took DH to see her. Other than that I just saw her for the first time since I took DH there and that was 4 months ago. I avoided a family trip to myrtle beach (? on sp.).

I am probably making this a bigger deal than what it actually is but oh well.

Sorry ladies I just needed to vent.

[MamaRN]

Aw Lisa,

I am sorry that she hurt your feelings. I can understand why. I don't think she meant anything by it, I am sure she is just elated to have her baby and wants to show him or her off and wasn't thinking about the repercussions of sending that mass message to you as well. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her and feel some joy for her, as hard as that is for you. (but I feel your pain, my sister is pregnant and due 2.5 weeks after I was supposed to be, and it hurts watching her progress knowing I should be there too.)

((HUGS))

[GladToBeAMomma]

Yeah that is tough. Just try to remember that she is excited, and probably did just send out a mass text. BUT, she should be more sensitive to your feelings. And however you are feeling is completely normal for you, and it will take time to heal. You can always vent here, we have all been there. Sorry you are hacing a hard time. *HUGS*

[j&jmom]

I know how you feel. I have a cousin with a similar due date and I really wanted to avoid the baby shower. I was guilted into going from my Mom against my dh's wishes. He knew how I would feel afterwards, and I did cry all night long. It is just so much easier to not think about your loss when you aren't surrounded by babies and/or pg. ppl. I'm happy for my cousin because she got married late in life and thought she had missed her opportunity to be a mom, but she is just a constant reminder of how far along I would have been and I the things I would be doing to prepare for my LO. This is just hard.

[KAB]

Lisa, I'm so sorry People that haven't been through a loss just don't understand, they don't know how emotionally tolling this is on us. I can imagine it's been even harder for you since yours has drug out for so long. I totally understand why you don't want to go. I'm sure it was an innocent text on her part, but it's too bad she couldn't have been a little more sensitive.

[~InHisHands~]

I'm so sorry but agree with all the others... she probably didn't mean it but of course I completely understand the sting.

[MomtoCTSK]

I understand why it hurts, especially what you have been through, but I am sure that she probably didn't mean to be insensitive. I am sure she was just excited to show off the baby and didn't think. I hope that she will understand why you don't want to go and things will smooth out.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry that your friend isn't being more sensitive about your feelings, Lisa. People who haven't been through a m/c (let alone what you've been through) just don't understand what a big part of your life the loss becomes. I hope you are able to work it out with her. Maybe you could have a heart to heart with her about your feelings since your loss?

[ldovey83]

Lisa I am so sorry hun.. I totally had that happen to me.. My friend right when I was miscarrying our third baby wanted me to go to her daughter's baby shower.. I told her I couldn't and she was being very pushy about it.. Didn't even care about me.. She wasn't so pushy about seeing the baby.. I saw her for the first time the other day, but I totally understand it is very hard, and people aren't aware of how things effect you. HUGS hun..

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry! I agree that people who've never experienced a loss just don't understand. I've been there. I had to attend my brother's baby mama's baby shower when I knew that my first bean had stopped growing and was waiting to m/c. Then the two of them had a falling out and my mom decided she wanted me to help her host a baby shower for my brother right after I had m/c bean. She didn't want to hear that I was hurting and resentful and pretty much told me to suck it up. It hurts when others don't just honor your feelings. I hope you're able to smooth things out.

[~Lynda~]

imo she was being insensitive, if she knows your situation. bulk text or not!
HUGS

[MamaRN]

Lisa just wanted to check on you and see how you were doing?

Did you talk to your friend at all?

[Halfbaked]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this right now. I was one of those people though. I had a friend who had a miscarriage and unintentionally I said things that may have hurt her. I was well meaning and thought I was helping but didn't realize how it could have hurt her until I had a miscarriage. I sent her an email last night apologizing for the way I acted even though it was almost a year ago. Even in doing that I may be opening old wounds. People don't do things intentionally to hurt others. Often they just don't understand. Even my dh has said things that have hurt me but he says that he said it because it is what would comfort him.

She may or may not understand after you explain things to her. Try not to let it hurt you and just realize that she just doesn't understand.

[LisaG825]

Thank you ladies. I have been thinking about it. Maybe it was her way of telling me that the baby was going to be there so it wouldn't have been a shock to me. Or at least that is what I am going to think so it doesn't make me mad anymore. I will still talk to her. Although I haven't since she has been here.