[GoldenTickets]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself. Married six years, DH and I have been "not trying not preventing" since November or so. Back in June I had a dental appt, and was due for x-rays, so I took a HPT just in case. I was so excited to find it was positive! Fast forward a couple weeks at my first appt, the ob thought my uterus felt small, I had some spotting (no cramping), and my periods are irregular so an ultrasound was scheduled for the following week (last week). I heard the heartbeat at that ultrasound, but the baby was measuring about 2 weeks smaller than expected and the heartbeat was only around 70.... So it was possible that I ovulated late, or I was beginning to miscarry. So I had another ultrasound earlier this week. At that ultrasound there was no more growth and no heartbeat. I had a D&C on Wednesday. We're definitely trying to keep a positive outlook (we're young [28 yrs], we know we both "work," we're able to go on our scheduled cruise in November), but I still have moments where I start crying (like now). I would much rather not be going on this cruise in November if it meant I still had my little "bean."

We told our parents what was going on, and each told a friend, but no one else knows. We were at a wedding last night talking with another couple and the subject of cats came up. Both us ladies said that we have "cat duty" each day, meaning we feed and scoop. The other woman (younger, with no kids) made a comment about not being able to scoop when pregnant. I handled it pretty well and just said something about DH having to do it whenever we get pregnant (ignoring the fact that he had just been doing it for about a month).

Sorry for the long message, I guess I just wanted to "tell" people because I really don't want to tell people we know. (I don't want people trying to talk to me about it or trying to comfort me) I do know a couple people who have either have miscarriages or difficulty getting pregant. When I'm ready, I'll probably talk to one of them about things. At my follow-up appt with my ob in a couple weeks, I'm going to ask how DH and I can actually TTC. Since my periods are irregular, I don't know how to track my ovulation.

I'll probably just be a lurker on these boards, you may not see me posting much. Thanks for "listening" ladies.

[hollann1984]

Welcome!

[Kary♥RN]

HUGS.. I am so sorry for your loss...(Your story sounds like our second loss, We lost our heart beat also) I am glad you found us, I hate Welcoming ladies.. since we know what kind of pain and hurt you have to go through to get here.. But Welcome. I am Kary one of your co-hosts... I have had 3 early losses, I have been a member of this board since Feb 2009. Thier is happy endings.. And you will have yours also! HUGS.. The ladies here are a wonderful support! I hope your stay here is short.. and your BFP comes quickly!!! HUGS

[TTCin2010]

Welcome..So sorry for your loss. Your story sounds just like mine. with the expection that I told anyone and every that I was pregnant once we heard the HB. It was hard going back and telling everyone we lost the baby. I wish you well.

[stargatemommy]

I am so sorry for your loss! Good luck when you TTC again...

[Halfbaked]

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand about not telling people. I never told anyone except my DH that I was pg and that I miscarried. It was easier just telling people that I wasn't feeling well. Good luck when you decide to TTC

[Ashmommyof3.5]

Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss.

[~InHisHands~]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I'm Amanda!

[MamaRN]

Hello and Welcome,

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard to go through the grief without telling anybody, talking about it makes them more real, doesn't it? You can share with us whenever you feel the need. I lost a pregnancy at 8 weeks about 2 months ago, and we only told a few people. It's hard when people ask us when we plan on trying for # 2, when they don't know we already had and lost him.

((BIG HUGS))

[GoldenTickets]

Thanks ladies for the support. I started crying again when I was reading your replies. I cried yesterday morning because it was my husband's birthday and I felt bad because I didn't even have a card for him, let alone anything else. (He is great, and definitely understood). We had a nice day thought, luckily.

It was nice this afternoon though, because I am finally started to feel normal again. I was pretty severely constipated for the first few days after the D&C, but finally "cleaned out" yesterday. My goal for this week is to get back to a routine again... I haven't cleaned or worked out in a few weeks (due to the miscarriage concerns and then the D&C), so I want to try and get back to doing my normal things again.