[TwoHeartsInHeaven]

On July 6th I delivered my twins, Matthew (15wks) and Harmony (18wks), sleeping. It has been the hardest thing that I have had to go through. It takes every piece of me to keep moving through the grief and just when I start to feel a tiny bit normal it hits me again. We were trying when I got pregnant and I was scared when I found out it was twins but now that I have lost them I realize how badly I wanted them. My DH has been nervous about being intimate lately for fear of conceiving before going to the Dr. on Wednesday. We will find out if there are any results from my blood test and autopsy reports. We are both nervous to hear if we have compatibility issues that may have caused the loss. I am trying so hard to stay positive and hopeful during this timeframe but the past couple days it has been hard. We both know that we want to have a family and one way to do that is to get pregnant again. I fear that I won't be as happy as I was the first time to be pregnant and that I will feel like I am replacing them. Part of me hopes that when we do conceive that we have twins again which makes me think that I am not quite ready yet.

[TTCin2010]

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

[lex1078]

Hi Twohearts, so sorry for your loss. I lost identical twin girls on 11-9-08 and had 2 miscarriages. I know how painful it is and hope the best for you. I hope you get answers from your Dr. and the autopsy report. I believe I lost my girls due to Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. We didn't have an autopsy report done on them. My 2 m/c's were due to Trisomy 16 & 22 and our next step is IVF. I hope when you do start TTC you get your sticky bean really quick. If you need to talk at all, ever, please PM me. I know how you feel about about having twins again, I've had that same feeling since I've lost my girls, but at this point, I would be happy with just one baby.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Brittanie]

I'm sorry you have to join us here. I wish you didn't have to be. Please also feel welcome to post on the stillbirth board too, if you feel the need.



My Cora was stillborn at 38w1d to a cord accident.

[JessP]

I am so sorry you are going through this. There is also a pregnancy loss board you are more than welcome to join. JM is a great support network. I hope you get some answers. Take all the time you need to grieve. And fear of conception is totally normal after a loss.

[ldovey83]

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful babies.. All the boards listed are great and very helpful.. Hang in there. WE are all here for you.