[ahawkin2]

My husband and I got in a really big argument last night and I pretty much cried all night...... I have been doing the OPK's all week and finally got my positive on Monday so I told him we needed to BD the next night for sure and he agreed. Well Tuesday night comes and he doesn't want to, says he is tired and stressed out (like I'm not!!). Well I started crying and yelling at him because I was so angry. I even told him that I felt like he is intentionally sabotaging me!! I was very angry!! I slept on the couch and didnt talk to him until he got home from work. I still don't feel like he understands!! He says that it has nothing to do with me, but after last night I kinda feel like he is disgusted with me! How do I make him want to have sex with me without it seeming like I am just using him (totally not what I am doing). But he seems to think that he is the only one that is stressed out and I feel like I am the only one that is actually trying to make this happen. I guess we will see what happens last time we BD'd was Sunday night so I don't think it will happen this time, oh well. It will happen when it's supposed to!! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[ldovey83]

I went through this actually.. Sometimes the whole trying to concieve thing stresses men out.. They are not wired like that.. So what I did was I did not tell my DH about my cycle or about my pos opk or about Oing or about anything.. Then I would just pretend like nothing and just be with him.. Not making it out to be sex just to get pregnant.. I would just do it with him, and enjoy it, and relax... IT seemed to help cause we got pregnant twice from it.. HUGS hun hang in there.

[MeganMomof5]

I'm sorry...Yes I think TTC can stress men out...My husband has done it before too....I don't have alot of advice except maybe try not to talk about it much with him, don't tell him when you have positive OPK's etc...It might help the situation...good luck!!!

[Christina33]

WOW - It sounds like a night at my house! This has happened so many times with me & DH - You are not alone! We lost our baby in May 2007 to an ectopic that ruptured and have been ttc for 3 straight years since. So many times we've had that exact same fight. There ends up being no BDing and then I get mad and blame him "You were too tired! ... You didn't feel like it! ... You fell asleep before I got to bed!" (LOL - that last one's a fave of mine) DH puts up with quite a lot, but it's so HARD when you feel all this stress to get everything right at exactly the right time!
I feel for you. I'm glad you can come here to get it off your chest. Always know that we understand!

[Pitridge]

It sounds like this could be my story too. As stressful as TTC is for us (because ladies lets face it, no matter how much we want this, it's extremely stressful) it's stressful for them too. It took me a while to figured that one out. This time I let the dtd schedule to him, we started every 3 days and then every 2 days (as I thought I O).
I keep hearing people saying make it fun, and as much as I tried, it's hard, but maybe you can do a little romance, wear something sexy, candles, make it as a romantic night not lets make a baby.

[ohnicole]

This is so hard to deal with, and I think we all have been there. As much as everyone says to try to be romantic and not let DH in on the specifics of charting, etc, sometimes I am just too **** tired! I have to chart and everything, and I don't have energy to be all coy with DH. Screw that! I know that is insensitive of me and puts pressure on him, but you know what, sometimes I don't really want to BD either, and I do it. Wish I could be more PC!

But the other ladies are right. If you can manage to keep DH in the dark, you might never have this issue again. I hope you and DH work this out for next cycle (or that you get your BFP this cycle ). Good luck.

[tobi4]

Originally Posted by ohnicole

This is so hard to deal with, and I think we all have been there. As much as everyone says to try to be romantic and not let DH in on the specifics of charting, etc, sometimes I am just too **** tired! I have to chart and everything, and I don't have energy to be all coy with DH. Screw that! I know that is insensitive of me and puts pressure on him, but you know what, sometimes I don't really want to BD either, and I do it. Wish I could be more PC!

But the other ladies are right. If you can manage to keep DH in the dark, you might never have this issue again. I hope you and DH work this out for next cycle (or that you get your BFP this cycle ). Good luck.

Im with you Nicole. BOTH Dbf and I want a baby, and Im not about to shoulder all the stress and responsibility of it, all myself. But ... I can see how making him not feel stressed might be helpful. Im just not wired that way!

[~InHisHands~]

We went through a period like that too! We talked it out & I also try to make sure I initiate DTD at other times than when I am just Oing so that he soesn't feel like all I want is his sperm.

[ahawkin2]

Thanks ladies for all your wonderful advice! I really like being able to talk to all of you and I wish everyone the best and hope you get your BFP's very soon!