Ugh Men...

ldovey83 · #1 August 23rd, 2010, 07:51 AM

I go through this everytime we have a loss..... My DH was complaining about not getting any sex... OK the Dr told him no sex until I am completely done bleeding for risk of infection, and he was like I know the drill.. Yet he has to frkin B**** about it all the time about how he dosen't get any and crap.. It's not like I leave him hanging.. I know it's not the same, but show a little compassion.. Think about me.. IT's not all about you!!!!!!! It just annoyes me.. All I ever get is gripped at all the time, about this, and it is upsetting cause here I am broken hearted and I feel like he dosen't even care, and it is all about when he can get sex.. Sorry I just needed to vent... I feel so overwhelmed right now...

ohnicole · #2 August 23rd, 2010, 08:07 AM

How frustrating, Lindsey!

If my DH did that to me, he would definitely get an earful. Maybe not the best way to deal with it, but some things are just uncalled for.

I hope that you and DH can work it out soon!

msshamis23 · #3 August 23rd, 2010, 09:40 AM

My DH was the same way. Except the doctor told him, my parents told him, and then I gave him a paper that explained the whole no sex thing. He was the same. B****** the entire time......

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. As if it isn't hard enough with everything else DH is there thrown in the mix. You need comfort--not calamity.

*hugs****

Celena · #4 August 23rd, 2010, 09:50 AM

I'm sorry Lindsey my dh was the same way during our losses. They can be selfish pricks sometimes, I ink it's their genetics

lol

ldovey83 · #5 August 23rd, 2010, 10:19 AM

It's funny cause they complain about no sex at the times we need them to be there for us, and then when we are in the baby making time they complain about to much sex and feeling used.. Is there ever a middle in this..LOL

HopefulMommy81 · #6 August 23rd, 2010, 11:41 AM

Ugh, so sorry Lindsey..... I would totally ream him out..... Thankfully, my DH is a trooper in that respect- he had to be since I was on pelvic rest from like 10 weeks with Matthew.....and then of course we had to wait after he was born....wow, my poor husband!

Seriously though, I hope your DH figures out he should be supportive of you and stops complaining!

MeganMomof5 · #7 August 23rd, 2010, 03:01 PM

I'm sorry Lindsey...I'm going through the same thing with my DH...We actually haven't DTD since I got pregnant in the begining of June LOL...With this bleeding problem i'm having, who knows when we'll do it again...he's been complaining almost every day saying how I don't give him any? which makes no sense, it's not like we like bleeding or anything....I tell him if he doesn't like it, he has a hand, and a shower and to get busy...I don't feel for him AT ALL.

Celena · #8 August 23rd, 2010, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ldovey83

It's funny cause they complain about no sex at the times we need them to be there for us, and then when we are in the baby making time they complain about to much sex and feeling used.. Is there ever a middle in this..LOL

so true, so TRUE

OMG, you'd think they'd shut up and enjoy all the baby makin sexy time! I'm telling ya they're more emotional & moody than we are ANY day!

MamaRN · #9 August 23rd, 2010, 03:40 PM

Aw, Lindsey, I am sorry. He sure is being insensitive. Do you think he just misses the connection you share when you have sex? Trying to throw him a bone here.

Brittanie · #10 August 23rd, 2010, 04:13 PM

I'm in the "I'd smack him" camp. Matt tried that on me after Cora, and I told him that he could complain after he'd had himself torn apart and stitched back up. lol

My husband does the "using me for my sperm" thing when ttc too.

AmyLM · #11 August 23rd, 2010, 04:57 PM

I'm sorry hun! I hope he straightens up quick!

ldovey83 · #12 August 23rd, 2010, 06:34 PM

Well it hasn't gotten any better.. I have been trying and nothing seems to make him happy..He gripes about everything.. Like he is complaining abot taking me for a blood draw tomorrow.. He says I am cutting into his time, and that he should've never married cause once you marry you cut off anything you ever want to do in life.. That is why married men are fat slobs he says.. I am so hurt right now.. I told him to not worry about it I would find my own way there, and I will be finding my own job so I don't cut into his life style anymore.. Since my son and I just seem to be a burden.. I don't know what his deal is lately.. It is really getting to me..

ohnicole · #13 August 23rd, 2010, 06:51 PM

Oh, man, I would FLIP, Lindsey! It is not right that he treats you that way EVER, let alone when you are going through a loss. That is just completely inappropriate! Let him have it, girl!!

P.S. Your DH is the horse

ldovey83 · #14 August 24th, 2010, 05:58 PM

Thanks.. I really don't know what his deal is lately.. I mean it seems like everytime we go through a loss he like goes crazy.. I don't know if it is his way of coping with it or what, but man.. We talked some last night and I asked him why he said those hurtful things, and he said casue he is unhappy with life right now.. He is mad depressed and he dosen't like the way he tries and tries and it is never enough.. I don't know.. I pray we get past this part.. I didn't get to get my blood draw cause even though he said he would take me he was still being a butt about it so I told him I didn't want him to do anything for me anymore...

ohnicole · #15 August 24th, 2010, 06:11 PM

I hope you get to have your blood work done soon. Even if you have to put up with DH in a pissy mood

It sounds like maybe losses make your DH feel inadequate and he is taking it out on you. Maybe it would be helpful to get him to go to a support group or therapist with you? I know guys are terrified of that... but talking to a professional (or at least with one in the room) can really help with issues like that.

I hope things calm down for you soon. Hugs.

ldovey83 · #16 August 24th, 2010, 06:18 PM

It's not just the loss.. We have some other financial issues going on, and he thinks that he is the only one going through them... Plus he is quitting cigarettes so he has that going on which makes him moody.. We will get passed this stage.. I just got to keep praying, and try not to take any of it to heart.