[Brittanie]

So, I was on micronor before (mini pill), and found it to really mess with my cycles, so I went off it and we've been just using condoms since. Well, I talked to DH yesterday, and he wants me to get a script for ortho tricyclen lo (which I was on before ttc Cora and Erin) on Thursday while I'm at the doctor's office.

I feel like he's never going to be "ready" to ttc. I'm so frustrated right now I want to cry.

[ohnicole]

Brittanie, I'm so sorry DH seems to be in a non-TTC frame of mind right now Huge hugs.

Have you guys had a long talk about this lately to discuss when you might move forward with actively TTC? Maybe it would make you feel better to at least have a plan in place?

[ldovey83]

I'm sorry Brittanie.. I feel your pain about DH and not being on the same page.. I can tell you a book about what is going on with me right now..Needless to say I am hurt.. So I understand.. Hang in there hun.. HUGS

[Celena]

Brittanie awe honey I'm sorry. Think our DH's definitely do NOT want to see us hurt and by not ttc they think nothing bad will ever happen again. I hope it's just jitters

I'm sorry Britt

[Brittanie]

Yeah, Celena, I think his biggest issue is seeing me so sick again. With my track record, that one is pretty much guaranteed. So the anxiety of another loss on top of it? I can't say I really blame him.

Nicole, every time I try to get an answer out of him it's either "not right now" or just a shrug. That's probably the most frustrating part. My date for my TTC ticker though is my ultimatum. Regardless of how he feels at the time, I'm getting rid of all forms of birth control in February if we aren't already TTC. That may actually be what he's holding out for.

I'm just frustrated. I don't want to go back on the pill, dang it! I may get the script and then just not fill it. AF is due Sept. 2nd, so I guess we have that long to really decide.

*pout*

[NutMeg76]

How do you really, truly feel about it? Not just on an emotional level, but on a spiritual level too? What does your belief system lead you to know is the right choice?

I won't use hormonal birth control, we do space our children and use NFP to prevent pregnancy when needed, but I can't use hormonal stuff. I don't want to do that to my body. I don't want to run the risk of making things more difficult when we do want to TTC. I am fairly certain that even if my DH wanted me to, I wouldn't do it. That is just me though. My body my choice. If he wants to make sure I don't 'fudge' the NFP, then he needs to take a part and make sure I am charting properly and interpreting those charts properly. If he doesn't want another child, then he should do the work for it, not you. JMHO.

[Halfbaked]

After our last baby, my dh was sure that was it. He never went and got snipped though because we both weren't 100% sure. It has taken 2.5yrs for me to talk my dh into it. When it came down to it, we both had to lay out our reasons for wanting one or not. It was a process of more than one talk. We don't know what will happen but have decided that God knows what's best and as long as we're as prepared as we can be, then everything will work out.
Hang in there.

[MeganMomof5]

I agree with Meg, what about NFP? I also will never take birth control pills again, and if for some reason we aren't TTC I'll use NFP...I'm really sorry Brittanie Men can be so annoying sometimes....It took me a full year of talking my husband into having another baby before he was on the same page as me.

[Pitridge]

Oh Brittanie, I'm sorry hon....I'm sorry that dh is not on the same page. I think you might be right, it has to be hard on him to see you so sick, heck it was hard on me to see you so sick with Patrick. Maybe he will be ready in a couple of months.

[Brittanie]

Matt and I are fertile enough that I don't trust nfp (I wouldn't care right now, but he won't touch me without a condom lately, even now after it's been several days since I've ovulated and eggs don't last that long). We've been using condoms, but neither of us are really happy with them. We've tried other things, too, and I haven't really liked anything. I was happy with ortho tricyclen lo when I was on it before, and conceived Cora right off it and Erin our 2nd month off, so I'm not worried that it's the pill.

The part I'm having a hard time with is how much it shows that he really isn't even accepting the idea at all. If I weren't ready to ttc right now, I wouldn't care about going on the pill at all.

But I feel like there's someone ready to join our family and I just don't want to wait. I've been telling her to go poke at her father, lol.

[MeganMomof5]

I understand, I felt the same way for a year while my husband felt like your husband...it really is frustrating when you feel like it's time, and then your other half doesn't ...I bet he'll come around soon...Just do what I did, and nag at him all the time about it LOL...I think that's all I talked about for a year lol...He probably just gave in because he was sick of listening to me

[Brittanie]

I don't know why it's affecting me like this. I'm seriously on the verge of tears.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry, Brittanie

Sometimes it is so hard to just accept something that DH says if he is unwilling to really give an explanation for why he wants it. I have had conversations with my DH, where we have literally sat in silence for like half an hour while I wait for him to be ready to finally say what he is thinking.

I think that it's really important for the two of you to really get all your feelings out on the table, even if DH finds it difficult. I hope you can figure out a compromise so that you don't have to feel so sad.

[Celena]

Brittanie I just wish there was an easy solution. I know our guys don't like it when we're sick, devastated or "broken" in their eyes to the point they feel so dang helpless because they can't fix us. DH was that way very much so after 2 of our losses, it took allot of talking out of our emotions to even get to a point where we'd truly TTC again whole heartedly. IDK what changed and made him want to but I attribute it to telling him every one of my feelings and him sharing his... there's never a sure thing. I know you two have talked, but would it hurt to try again? Get him to talk more about his feelings, fears and concerns... point out how you understand him and perhaps share more of how you're feeling right now. How you're being really effected by all of this. (not saying that you haven't)

I can understand in a small way.... It really bothered me in just a whim dh began to doubt ttcal recently, I shared a little story here about how after dh n I bd'd one night he brought that up. (he had even said prior he needs to "make a baby") It made no sense, but either way I was bawling uncontrollably... it just sucks. Think he's afraid and his fears are surfacing again.

[Fallen2Love]

Birth Control is not for me for a variety of reasons. I prefer the NFP method.

However, when the pill was giving me issues my OB suggested the Nuva Ring. It was great, except I could feel it when we DTD. Also, I could not have a "full" AF while using the Nuva Ring. After a few months on the Nuva Ring, I had to stop using it and had a few very, very violent cycles. My periods were like 3-4 days of very light spotting. My typical period usually consisted of 3-4 days of spotting then another 5-7 days of heavy bleeding. So it was like my body wasn't shedding everything it was supposed too if that makes sense.

[Brittanie]

Thanks ladies.

Celena, I've not really talked to him about how much this is really affecting me. I'm sort of waiting until Thursday when I get my thyroid levels drawn again, to see what's going on there. I have a feeling that my thyroid is wigging out again and that is the cause of the depression. If my levels are normal, or if they aren't and I still feel this way after things settle, then I definitely will.

Fallen 2 love (sorry I don't know your name!) Yeah, the nuva ring has never sounded appealing to me. Ortho tricyclen lo never ever affected my cycles while I was on it, so I'd be just going on that again. And since I already take my thyroid meds at the same time every day, that isn't an issue for me. It's not actually the pill itself that I don't like the idea of, it's the long-term sort of feeling of it. There's NO point in me going on the pill for just one month or two. *sigh*

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs hun! Maybe you should sit down and explain exactly how your feeling with your DH. I know I've had to do this with mine because guys need you to be just straight forward with them or they don't get it.