[Fallen2Love]

Man, I hit backspace too long and it deleted my post

I'm so frustrated with DH. We've been on the fence about TTC. I'm completely 100% fine w/ TTC. DH says he is but when push comes to shove, he will not DTD during O-time. Which says to me that he is not ok with TTC. So I feel like crap, because god forbid I end up pregnant I know its not going to be his "plan" and of course he'll be happy but in the back of mind it will always be "what if he thinks I forced this upon him and he wasn't ready or whatever...." blah blah blah kinda deal. I'm just so frustrated with him, why can't he make up his stinking mind. Its not like I want to TTC with all the bells and whistles - but if it happens it happens. I don't want to abstain from sex in fear of pregnancy (which I guess is the more NTNP then TTC but whatever). But if DH isn't ok with pregnancy (which it feels like he's not) then I just don't even want to do anything at all. I'm so sick and tired of this rollercaoster after loss. I either want to be pregnant (trying anyways) or not. I don't want to be in limbo. It is too hard.

On top of that, I found out that a few people who knew I had a m/c have told other people and well...people feel uncomfortable around me. Seriously? WTH? One person was pregnant who said they were uncomfortable - but seriously they never stopped complaining - I mean nonstop for hours upon hours. I mean, I get a comment here and there. Pregnancy is not all sunshine and happiness - and a woman has a right to complain if she sees fit (who says that motherhood doesn't include some blood, sweet, and tears? Some stuff about pregnancy, just stinks for lack of better words.) But seriously there is a time and place. It just doesn't make sense for this person to say "I feel uncomfortable around so-and-so b/c of a loss,but I am pregnant and miserable and going to complain a bunch to this person." URG!!!!!! And seriously, on top of that who says I have to broadcast my stuff to everyone at work! Those who need to know knew. End of story.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time with DH It seems to be going around with all the DH's on the board. Yesterday in chat we couldn't decide if they were all PMSing, or if it was just their personalities Then Celena informed us it was because of the "full jerk moon."

Seriously, though, it is so hard when DH is wishy washy about TTC. I hope you can figure out what is really going on with him and both get on the same page soon. Hugs!

It is so weird how people think it is appropriate to gossip about people's miscarriages. I hope you start feeling like you have some privacy again soon!

[Fallen2Love]

Is that what it is call? Re: "Full Jerk Moon" Seriously - it seems like everyone has been off their rockers this week and last. Sheesh! I hate full moons!