[JesSsica]

At work yesterday, everytime I looked at the date, Sept 1st stuck out to me as meaning something. I wracked my brain all day trying to figure it out. I couldn't. One of my best friend's birthdays is the 3rd so that wasn't it and I couldn't think of another person with that day as a birthday. I couldn't for the life of me put my finger on it. Fast forward to tonight and I was just sitting here at the computer cruising around the site and it hit me like a ton of bricks-- it was my second baby's due date!!! How in the world could that date have escaped me?!

My first due date came and went May 14th but I was pregnant at the time so it was just a thought throughout the day but didn't get me down. Little did I know I would miscarry again just 8 days from that day.

Anyway, how in the world could I have forgotten that?! The date was bugging me all day but it never hit me until a day later. Strange. Does this mean that I'm healing? Or emotionally/subconciously protecting myself? I just find it so odd because I really have a great memory for dates. How sad.

[Celena]

Jessica, it's possible that you are healing and that in some way your grief isn't as strong as it was... that's good tho, that you're healing. The ability to embrace the events that have been traumatic but not lose it completely. Don't beat yourself up over it whatever you do, you love your bean just as muych as the day you found out you were pg.

I have blocked things out and busied myself so much to TRY TO FORGET the date because I knew I'd lose my *****, not being able to hold it together.

[ohnicole]

I hope it is a sign that you are healing and reaching a place of acceptance. It seems like you have been able to find some peace in your life without TTC, and I'm so happy for you!

[Pitridge]

I think it is a sign that you are healing.
My m/c was sept 4th, I was pg with ds by that time, so it was easier. This year some how it's hitting me harder since that baby would be 2 tomorrow, instead ds is turning 19 months, it's bittersweet.