1st cycle trying after miscarriage/d&c vent..

okiliz · #1 September 7th, 2010, 07:30 AM

Hey guys,
I just wanted to post so I can get this out .. My husband is pretty understanding ... but sometimes he just has had enough talking about the loss of our twin boys and dealing with the miscarriage ... It is a hard time for me right now.. my sister in law is due in like 3 weeks, my other sister in law is due a month before I was .. She did not even want to get pregnant.. but it is so hard to hear about their pregnancies.. even though I am happy for them.. I am still angry it happened to us.. Because I had complications with the 1st D&C I had to have another one about a week and a half later and then I had even worse complications and had to go into the hospital . Right after the miscarriage we were going to try again in september with another IUI.. Due to the complications we had to push off the iui till november because hubby is deploying in october .. I just feel like .. well... like it's just not fair .. I know I sound like a baby about it but I am just so fed up with the waiting . I did get pregnant on my own with out medical help for my two daughters but both took a very long time and I have since been diagnosed with PCOS . The pregnancy that I lost , we had tried for about 20 months with various low level fertility treatments and then on our first IUI we got the magic BFP and later found out we were hacing twins but one had already passed and then we lost the other . My hubby did agree that we should try this month ( September) on our own, make sure we BD at least every other night, his sperm count is very good, so no worries there, I have started to take Evening promrose oil again.. But I am just so scared to hope that this month will work.. it did not work when we were trying before our loss and I just am not looking forward to the broken heart every month when I am not pregnant .. I want to be positive and I do believe in my heart we will have another baby or babies .. and then I am of course scare d that the IUI will not work the first time like it did last time... Of course it would be ideal that we get pregnant on own this month .. but.. I don't know.. anyone have any advice? Sorry this was so long .. I just needed to put it down on paper... e-mail or what ever... Thanks so much guys !!

AmyLM · #2 September 7th, 2010, 07:37 AM

I really don't have any advice to offer. I just wanted to say I'm so, so sorry for your losses and I really hope you get your bfp this month. ((hugs)) to you!

yoyomama · #3 September 7th, 2010, 09:51 AM

^^^ DITTO i wish i had advice for you too, i wish you the best and hope your BFP is happens soon , and yes the waiting game sucks *** ! but hopefully being patient will pay off soon...

shen7 · #4 September 7th, 2010, 10:09 AM

Well you're in the right place to vent, we don't mind and we understand!!!!

Personally, I have found that a little mind game I play with myself can help sometimes when I get scared of things not working. I basically separate out what I can do (BD, track O, etc) and what I can't do (make an O or a pregnancy happen). I decide that as long as I am doing all I can to make a baby, then the rest is not up to me, but at least I can be satisfied with my own efforts. This was important for me because it helped with my feelings of failure. I haven't failed as long as I've done what I can!!! It sounds like you are doing that too, with taking EPO and planning an IUI and BDing a lot. So, good job!

I also have a SIL pregnant, just behind where I would have been with my ectopic, and a close friend whose pregnancy is just ahead. It is sometimes hard to see them pass their milestones while I am here flat-bellied and waiting. Life just isn't fair, at all....