[yellowbird]

It took my fiancee and I about three months to get pregnant, which happened in April...I barely made it to six weeks. I got my period five weeks later in June and we've been trying again since. Nothing has happened.

Since it took us a few months the first time, could it possibly take just as long or even longer? Is it normal for a couple in their 20's? Any advice would be much appreciated.

[shen7]

Hi there... I'm a statistics nerd in my 20's, so let me take the first stab at it...

My first loss was very similar, happened within a couple months of trying (but not very hard - just BDing more frequently with no protection). Also at 6 weeks. When we started trying again, I was a little more proactive, tried to count days and hit the whole potentially-fertile window, and it took 5 months, which is exactly average.

The chance of a woman in her 20's getting pregnant in any given cycle is 20%. If you assume that each cycle is independent - the chances of you getting pregnant this cycle have nothing to do with last cycle, or any other previous cycle - then the average time to pregnancy is 5 cycles. There is a "fat tail" on the distribution, so lots of women get pregnant in the first year (80% I think), but there will still be the 20% of women who don't, just because of chance.

Many women (myself included) get into temping, charting, OPK'ing, taking supplements, etc to try and up their chances, but there's still a large element of chance.

Hope that's not too nerdy for ya!!!!!
I wouldn't worry at all until it's been at least 6 months... having 1 very early miscarriage does not really affect your future outcome one way or another, statistically anyway... so just keep tryin'!

[yellowbird]

Thanks a lot! It's definitely disheartening. We BD just about everyday, if not every other day. Between TTC the first time, the loss and now TTC again, it feels like we're never going to have a little one...

[shen7]

I know it seems like everyone else gets pregnant right away without really trying, but it's not true. Try asking around, like moms and aunts and whatnot, and see how many months it took for them to get pregnant. You may be surprised. People don't really talk about it, but many women experience losses and long TTC times.

I don't mean to discourage you!!! But just know that you are not at all unusual, or alone. Be patient, and feel free to vent your frustrations here whenever you want.

If you want to know more about your cycle and conceiving, I would check out Fertility Friend. There's a lot of good information there.

Hope you're not here too long, but welcome!!

[ahawkin2]

I agree with all the other ladies. It can be very disappointing, but just try to be patient. I got preggo pretty easy the first time and carried the baby until 7mo and lost it last Dec. We have now been trying for 5mo (using OPK's and taking alot of vitamins) and it hasn't happened yet. It's in God's hands now. Good luck and hope everyone get's there BFP soon!!