[missy123]

How did you all cope after your loss(es)? I have been trying to hold strong and staying focused on the wedding plans but there are moments when I just break down and sob. I have been taking 1 Valium a day and made an appointment to speak to my family doctor on Friday. I think the meds are helping me with that sharp, raw pain.

On another topic, we decided to TTC again as soon as AF shows. I think the fact I got pregnant when they said I wouldn't is giving me the strength to keep trying.

((Hugs girls))

[ohnicole]

Huge, huge, huge hugs, Missy.

It is so great that you have the wedding to focus on, and distract you, and help get you through. But you will still have that heartbreak lurking below the surface, and it is so good for you to take your brave face off when you need to and just grieve. I wish you weren't going through this loss

I am so excited for you guys to be able to TTC with some hope!

[shen7]

You are going through a lot right now, dear Missy!!! It's okay to cry and let it out. The good part about it is, if you're crying all the time around the wedding time, you can just pretend that it is solely due to the wedding - nobody will question it!

Sometimes life just throws everything at us at once. It is overwhelming. I've been dealing with a lot of dying, loss, and others' pregnancies, and I've become somewhat stoic with it, but occasionally I just need to hide in a room by myself and not deal with anything or anybody. I have whole days that are lost sometimes. But I think the image to most people is that I'm handling everything really well, I'm often in a great mood around others. It's sort of a facade though, at least sometimes.

[tobi4]

I think that talking about it helped me the most. (Mostly here) And the physical comfort from my dbf. The hugs, the little kiss on my forehead, I think those are the things helped me to not feel so alone. I think its totally natural to break down and sob Missy! Feel what you need to, its going to come out sometime. You have a whole lot to deal with already and now you have to add dealing with a loss on top of it all.
Missy, I am so happy that you have made the decision to try again, Ill be praying right along with all the other ladies here!! I wish you the best of luck!

[~InHisHands~]

The BEST thing for me was a Bible study... Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy. It helped me to grow closer to God & actually see His side of this a little. It gave me comfort & some understanding. I also wear a bracelet in honor of my sweet angel so that I have something as a constant reminder that she was here. She was real & shouldn't be forgotten.

[~Lynda~]

yay!!! you go girl!!! you CAN get pregnant, I have always told you that! I just know, i just feel it!!!!

as for the losses, it's horrible. the emotions come and go. and sometimes something will just trigger it and you'll break down in the strangest places. I wish I had some words of wisdom on it, but I don't. You just have to find ways to cope. I always told myself that at least I could get pregnant.

I'm sad because I can't enjoy my pregnancy right now, cause i'm so scared to death. I do not feel pregnant at all!!! because of all my losses, it makes it impossible to enjoy right now!

Hang in there hun, lean on your friends (myself included). Talking about it helped me to keep pushing on! I'm proud of you!!!

[JessP]

Support has helped me cope. Being here on JM and talking to people who understand. We are all here for you Missy. I wish you weren't going through this. I also have a best friend in Texas I can talk to who understands.

[msshamis23]

*big, huge, mega HUGS!*

I'm glad you have the wedding coming up to focus on, and some meds to help cope with the raw pain. I'm also very happy that you are going to TTC again, because you are right! You proved em wrong!

As for me coping? I'm a bottler. I bottled up all of my sadness, and just tried to keep trekking through, but unfortunately that is definitely not a healthy thing to do. Couldn't help it though, i've always done it. Well the bottle popped, and I had a really rough few weeks after that. I had a perma-headache from all the crying. But, then I realized well at least I know I can get pregnant. I can keep trying. And I will.

[luvmykids623]

Having people to talk to has helped me cope. Usually they are people that have been through it before, but I have a few friends (very few, but they're there) who have never experienced a loss who are very good at just listening without trying to make me feel better and in return saying some of those stupid, hurtful things that people say to try and make you feel better. I had a little breakdown on Saturday, because of all the pregnancy talk that was going on around me in the last few days since I found out about baby not having a h/b. I became angry with God for subjecting me to that after He chose to take my baby. That night I went to a birthday party for a friend's son. This friend has had a m/c and an ectopic so she knows how I feel. While there she introduced me to two amazing women- one who has fertility issues and had m/c her miracle baby in May and one who lost her son at 16 weeks. It was very healing to talk to the three of them and know that I'm not alone IRL (I know I always have you ladies!). I took that as God's way of saying sorry for all the crap I've had to hear lately.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this again Missy!

[.:Shortcake:.]

First off super big massive hugs Missy! I have been trying to be strong too... but today I have been here at the house all alone. After I left the doctors office I went and bought 2 balloons... a pink one and blue one. For some reason I just know the twins were a boy and a girl. I brought them home and I wrote on both of them a note to my angels. Then I went outside and left them go. Then when I couldn't see them anymore I lost it. I fell to the ground and cried and cried and screamed. After that I came into the house and I wrote to all of my angels in my journal. I'm not going to say I feel better but in a sense I do. I think I was holding it in and not allowing myself to grieve for my babies. I love you Missy! If you need to talk I'm here.

[zkat]

Missy, you are such an amazing person. JM helped me a lot. I could be hidden, but still pour my heart out at the same time. I cried and leaned on my DH, who was amazing. I focused on up coming races that I had and getting answers from my doctors.

I am here for you, too. I feel such a bond and conneciton with all you guys that were for me through my trials, I want to pay it forward.

Love you,

Kat.

[missy123]

Thanks girls, I really appreciate all of you!

[MeganMomof5]

((Hugs)) Missy, I am going to pray for you and I hope you get your BFP soon!!!


I'm not sure how I cope...I still have my good days and my bad days...Some days I don't think i've coped at all...I almost feel like i'm living someone else's life most of the time...I've now been to 3 pregnancy loss support meetings, and hopefully more people will start to come to the meetings since they are having a walk and a closed group starting soon after...I think that's helped me...It's so nice to talk to others who have been through the same thing...JM has always been a big help to me for that...Not sure what I would do with out you all, but it's helped even more to talk in person with others.

[dreamer10]

I think all these wonderful ladies have good advice and lots of love and support. Everyone copes in their own way. A miscarriage is so devastating, but the long dark lonely hours afterwords were the worst for me. But I have to say that faith and time are what have helped me to heal. That and the support from people that can truly empathize. Like the people here and maybe others irl that also get it. Hang in there Missy, you have been through a lot and part of coping is facing it, talking about it and seeking out support....and your doing all of those things. The rest is time....we all love you and are so sad this happened...and we are all so glad you acutally did get pregnant on your own and I am praying it will happen soon again....

[missy123]

Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. I think what happened to me is the first few days I was in shock and denial. I was so grateful that they did not have to take my tubes that I walked around and did not feel sadness. I had tons of phone calls and texts and all sorts of well wishes... Then the reality sank in.

I cried for an hour last night, really sobbed. DF and I were laying in bed and I asked him why god let me get pregnant only to take the baby away. Why put me through the pain? I was in a peaceful place before getting pregnant. He said that god loves me and would never hurt me deliberately, he doesn't work that way. Something about what he did give us is the ability to make our own decisions and against all odds we made the decision to keep trying. He said at my age in our quest to have a baby it won't be easy like when I was 20.... He said that no matter what he loves me most and god did answer our prayers by bringing us together. So he has been good to us, there are just bumps along the road. He said we can stop now if we want to, but he knows what a fighter I am and if I really want a baby then we will try again knowing that I could end up with another loss and more heartache and we may never have an earth baby. He said the most important part is that my health is not at risk because he could never imagine life without me and I am much more important in his book of life than a baby. He held me tight and rubbed my back as I sobbed so hard. I breathed out the pain and eventually fell asleep. I love my DF so much. He is kind and thoughtful and loving and I really am so lucky.

I woke up this morning feeling sad but not the raw pain I felt yesterday.

Thank you all for being here for me. I talked to a few girls in real life that have had losses but it is not the same as my JM family.

Love
Me

[.:Shortcake:.]

Missy super big massive hugs! I think its good that you cried last night. Its good when we let our emotions out. I hope today is a better day for you. I bet your getting excited for the wedding too Not much longer at all now.